Non-Sequiturs: 05.19.11

* Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been indicted. When reached for comment, Khan said: “You task me. You can chase me around the moons of Nibia and around the Antares Maelstrom and around Perdition’s flames before I give up!” [ABC News]

* But he’s been granted bail. In response, Ordell Robbie put it this way: “He put himself in a position where he was going to have to do ten years in prison, that’s what he did. And if you know [Dominique], you know ain’t no god damn way he can do ten years. And if you know that, then you know [Dominique’s] gonna do anything [Dominique] can to keep from doing them ten years, including telling the federal government any and every motherf***ing thing about my black ass.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Please bring me the school principal who had four people willing to teach in a poor elementary school but decided to be racist towards those teachers because they are white so that I may slap him upside his head. I hope Dr. Frank Naiper tells him: “you will write a formal apology for your treatment of [the white teachers]. You will kow tow. You will step and fetch… because contrary to popular opinion, I’m the head n****r in charge!” [The Root]

* The FBI wants some Unabomber DNA. We spoke with special agent Clarice Starling who said she asked Kaczynski: “But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don’t you – why don’t you look at yourself and [give me a cheek swab]? Or maybe you’re afraid to.” [Salon]

* A Republican doesn’t think the U.S. defaulting on its debts would be so bad? Egon disagrees: “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.” [Huffington Post]

* Four more years of the Patriot Act. Progressives tried to reason with Patriot Act supporters but Jack Ryan said: I don’t give a s**t whether you [like] it or not. But if you don’t help me, I will put such a stranglehold on your [entitlement] money that your boys will be out in the streets throwing rocks! I will f***ing destroy you! I will make it my mission in life! [Politicore]

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