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Fictional Lawyer Madness: Sweet Sixteen Part Two

Joe Pesci

Matthew McConaughey

1) Vinny Gambini (Joe Pesci; My Cousin Vinny)


5) Jake Brigance (Matthew McConaughey; A Time To Kill)

Supporters of Drop Dead Diva character Jane Bingum emailed the show’s producers during last week’s match between Bingum and Vinny Gambini. The Drop Dead Diva Facebook page ordered fans to come to Above the Law and influence the vote. The Diva supporters made a lucid, intelligent, well thought-out objection.

It was overruled. Vinny moves on.

Meanwhile, here’s a fun thing about A Time to Kill and Jake Brigance: the entire reason he is hired to defend Sam Jackson — a black man accused of murdering the two men who raped his daughter — was that Jake allegedly “thinks like” the white people on the jury (whatever that means), and thus knows how to influence them. Okay. So in his closing argument, Jake tells the horrific story of Sam Jackson’s daughter getting raped by the dead men. He tells them to close their eyes and think about how horrible it must have been for this little girl. And then, the big ending is his line:
“I want you to picture that little girl. Now imagine she’s white.” The jury audibly gasps and quickly returns a not guilty verdict.

Now… what is this saying to us? It’s telling us that the average, walking around white Southerner is so freaking racist that the story of a little black girl being brutally raped merits a “meh,” and doesn’t necessarily excuse the victim’s father from seeking vigilante justice upon the perpetrators, but the story of a little white girl getting raped is so… well gosh darn it even THINKING such a thing makes me so totally sympathetic that hell I’d kill those sons of bitches myself, again, if I could!

I’m not sure if white Southern juries actually think that way. But if they do, and ol’ Jake figured that out and used it to get his client off, well that would simply be the greatest play of the reverse-race card in the history of literature or film.

Who is your favorite character?

  • Vinny Gambini (81%, 1,002 Votes)
  • Jake Brigance (19%, 231 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,233

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