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Fictional Lawyer Madness: Sweet Sixteen Part Two

Glenn Close

2) Patty Hewes (Glenn Close; Damages)


3) Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise; A Few Good Men)

While the ladies failed to sufficiently rally behind Jane Bingum and Alicia Florrick in round one, they had enough juice to push Glen Close’s award winning character from Damages into the Sweet Sixteen. Nicely done, Breaking Bad’s Saul Goodman was a formidable opponent, simply because most people like to keep around a good drug lawyer.

And then there’s Kaffee. I caught True Grit again on DVD and when you watch that movie, you realize that Jeff Bridges is the premier “acting drunk” actor of our generation. He’s taken the torch from Jack. As seen in True Grit, Bridges understands that the “fall down drunk” scene doesn’t end when the character falls down, it end when the character scrambles back up and continues saying drunk things.

I bring this up because Tom Cruise is probably the worst actor at acting drunk in our generation. He’s terrible, he always seems to think acting drunk involves acting crrraazy. Every time his character has a drink, Cruise turns into Jerry Maguire spazzing out in the goldfish scene.

Except for in A Few Good Men. The “Rocco Globbo School for Women” scene is to “you can’t handle the truth” scene AS “that one may smile, and smile, and be a villain” is to “to be or not to be.” In any other movie, that’s the scene you’d leave the theater talking about.

And yes, I just kind of compared Aaron Sorkin to Shakespeare and no, I don’t feel weird about that.

Who is your favorite character?

  • Daniel Kaffe (70%, 838 Votes)
  • Patty Hewes (30%, 351 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,189

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