Contests, Movies, Reader Polls, Television

Fictional Lawyer Madness: The Sweet Sixteen, Part One

We know that you like March Madness, but what about Fictional Lawyers Madness? Voting closes on Sunday, June 26, 2011, at 11:59 p.m., so read on to vote for your favorite character unless you want your bracket to be ruined.

By Elie Mystal

onJune 21, 2011 at 5:55 PMJune 23, 2011 at 7:26 PM

1) Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston; Law & Order)

4) Denny Crane (William Shatner; Boston Legal)

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Look, it’s going to be difficult for anybody to go up against a senile Captain Kirk playing a lawyer. William Shatner led humanity on its mission to seek out strange new worlds; you’re damn right he can lead a corporate law firm. How can you not like Denny Crane? He’s the forgetful grandfather you’d be horrified to have until he died and left you a fat inheritance.

Jack McCoy is less likable. He’s a prickly character. His eyebrows are a protected ecosystem. He often abuses his prosecutorial discretion. He’s bound by his definition of ethics and no other. What little we know about his personal life reveals a functional alcoholic who bones pretty much every assistant he can get his hands on. He’s downright insubordinate.

But if somebody murdered one of your loved ones or friends, he is the lawyer you’d want in charge of bringing the perpetrator to justice.

Of course, if you needed to negotiate a merger between the Klingon Empire and a federation of peaceful humans, you’d probably pick Denny Crane.

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