Archive for June 2011

The Power Gays Of New York

By Elie Mystal

Christine Quinn

As we all await a vote on gay marriage in New York, the New York Observer came out with a wonderful list: the 50 most powerful gay people in New York. They’ve called them “power gays,” and that, my friends, is just fun to say. Here, I’ll use it in a scene.

OLD GUY: Is that guy over there… a gay?
ELIE: No. He’s a POWER gay.

The number one most powerful gay person in New York is City Council Speaker Christine Quinn. That makes sense. Christine Quinn could well be the next mayor of New York City, and unlike other potential NYC mayoral candidates, she doesn’t have a penis that can be photographed and disseminated over Twitter.

But, more relevant for our purposes, the power gays include a number of lawyers….

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Alleged Gibson Dunn Child Porn Possessor Found Dead

By Elie Mystal

Moshe Gerstein

The nauseating story of Moshe Gerstein has come to an abrupt end. Gerstein, who had been accused of possessing violent child pornography, has been found dead.

The allegations against Gerstein — who worked at Gibson Dunn and Skadden — were particularly disturbing. Gerstein was accused of stockpiling thousands of images of brutal child porn.

But he pleaded not guilty and was due to appear in court yesterday.

Instead, his obituary ran in The Republican today.

That obit is light on details, but an Above the Law source has attempted to shed some more light on the situation…

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Deep in the Heart of Texas, Where Lawyers Go to School to Become Paralegals

By Staci Zaretsky

Many law school graduates are wondering how they can make themselves more marketable in light of their dismal job prospects. Hell, even graduates from elite law schools are having trouble finding jobs these days.

What can these would-be lawyers do to help themselves land a respectable job?

Some of these people are actually so desperate they believe that getting even more legal education will solve their employment woes. Maybe, just maybe, they think, an LLM from a better school will help them wipe the sub-T14 sludge off their résumés. Of course, money is no object, because really, after throwing $150,000 at a wall and hoping that it sticks, another couple thousand dollars is just a drop in the bucket.

But don’t sign up for that LLM just yet, because the masterminds at the University of Texas School of Law may have a solution for you. Education is the key, but it’s not the kind of education that you’d expect….

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Morning Docket: 06.23.11

By Staci Zaretsky

This is my cat, Chloe. Don't steal her, because she is radioactive.

* The Winklevoss twins finally got the point, and decided to drop their case against Facebook. Like. [Bits / New York Times]

* Spiderman, Spiderman / Allegedly gambling whenever he can. / Makes a bet, any size, / Texas Hold ‘Em debts, he denies. / Look out! Here comes the Spiderman. Tobey Maguire’s new theme song? [Daily Mail]

* The king of DC gender discrimination suits plans to sue the Catholic University of America. Doesn’t he know that single-sex dorms will stop these Catholics from having the premarital sex they allegedly don’t have? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Justice Sotomayor gave a speech to the JDRF Children’s Congress, telling them that they, too, could someday be wise Latinas. Also, something about a Zune? [Los Angeles Times]

* Hey, Judge Gummo, next time you get wasted, please remember that you’re supposed to wear a robe, not a sheet. Judicial conferences aren’t fraternity toga parties, bro. [Daily Journal]

* Alright, I really love animals, but if my boyfriend stole my cat, I wouldn’t sue for $11M. I’d just key his car and slash his tires. You know, the usual. He’d give me back my cat for free. [New York Post]

* Things upon which you can now blame your alleged anti-Semitic remarks: booze, benzos, and sleeping pills. Thanks for that, John Galliano. Mel Gibson, please take note. [New York Magazine]

* If you’ve been following the Stetson v. West Publishing case like us (hey, I could use the $12), check out the latest news on the coupon settlement rejection. [National Law Journal]

Adventures in Lawyer Spam: Join the Biglaw Revolution

By Natasha Lydon

Have you ever dreamed of changing the Biglaw model, of making the law firm a pleasant place to work? If so, we might have just the opportunity for you.

Some Hogan Lovells attorneys were recently offered the opportunity of a lifetime, courtesy of “The Office of Mr. Monfort in Partnership with Hogan Lovells International.” Mr. Monfort invites all Hogan Lovells employees to join the Lawyers Transformation Program, which will “allow a lawyer to identify the excesses and wrongdoing of the current law firm model in order to accomplish the transition into a long-term and sustainable law firm approach.”

In case this wasn’t sufficient to get Hogan Lovells attorneys on board, the invitation goes on to list in detail the crazy lofty ideals of the Lawyers Transformation Program, promising nothing short of revolution and greatness.

The only problem? Hogan Lovells, not surprisingly, has no idea who Mr. Monfort is. Find out how you can join the Biglaw utopia movement and read the Hogan Lovells response, after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 06.22.11

By Elie Mystal

* You’d think the following would go without saying, but the kids these days need it spelled out, so here goes: If you are Facebook friends with a hostage taker, DO NOT send him status updates alerting him to SWAT team movements during a standoff. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Excellent interview with Mark Cuban’s lawyer, Thomas Melsheimer of Fish & Richardson. [Deadspin]

* Illegal immigrants are everywhere. And… and… it’s no BFD! It hasn’t ruined the country. In fact, Jose Antonio Vargas is a Pulitzer-winning journalist. [New York Times Magazine]

* How lawyers want you to handle it when they send you letters. [Popehat]

* My father used to say: If old white ladies are yelling at you, you must be doing something right. Or something like that. [Althouse]

* I only skimmed through Kash’s thoughts on Anthony Weiner, but I think she just said that if you are not tweeting your boner at people, you are leading a repressed and boring life. Unfortunately, Kash was never molested. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

* Maurizio Levi-Minzi, hiring partner at Debevoise & Plimpton, says that the firm is looking for people who are passionate about something, not necessarily the law. I can, like, vouch for that and stuff. [The Careerist]

* Unlike that Stanford guy, Walter Olson eschews sensational headlines, even though editors can sometimes overrule him. Oh, but as a blogger, I’m required to write this blurb this way: Walter Olson, establishment lapdog, defends the evil Wal-Mart and other enemies of galactic peace. [Overlawyered]

Thanks to This Week’s Advertisers

By Above the Law

We extend our gratitude to this week’s advertisers on Above the Law:

If you’re interested in advertising on Above the Law or any other site in the Breaking Media network, please download our media kits, or email advertising@breakingmedia.com. Thanks.

Does New York Have Enough Votes To Pass Gay Marriage?

By Elie Mystal

Folks, it looks like New York State might pass gay marriage legislation.

The New York State Assembly has long since passed legislation authorizing gay marriage. But the hold up has been in the much more conservative New York State Senate. This morning, reports surfaced that gay marriage was just one vote shy in the Senate.

Would you want to be the one vote who told gay New Yorkers that their love was “wrong” and shouldn’t be recognized by the state? I wouldn’t want to be that one vote.

Well, Instinct Magazine is reporting — citing the Twitter feed of the Capital Tonight news program — that gay marriage proponents have the 32nd vote they need to break the 31-31 deadlock in the senate over the issue. In addition, the New York Civil Liberties Union claims, also via Twitter, that pro-marriage forces “have more than enough votes” to carry the measure.

But no vote has been scheduled as of now. If you support gay marriage in New York, now would be a good time to contact your senator.

Gosh, when judges just impose gay marriage upon the citizens, it isn’t nearly this complicated. In any event, gay marriage seems to be on the march in New York.

We’ll keep you posted of any developments.

Breaking: Capital Tonight Reports NY Senate Now Has The Necessary 32 Votes [Instinct]

Closing the Loop on May’s Lawyer of the Month

By Elie Mystal

It appears that we closed the poll but forgot to announce the Lawyer of the Month for May 2011. That’s our bad. We’ve been so busy trying to keep up with all the bats**t crazy lawyers sprouting up in June that May 2011 feels like it took place in 2008.

But we don’t want to totally forget about the May Lawyer of the Month, because it gives us one more chance to honor a recent law graduate who might be doing everybody a world of good….

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Quote of the Day: I Don’t Think ‘Moderate’ Means What You Think It Means

By David Lat

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, writing for the four moderates on the court, dissented from Justice Scalia’s broader analysis and sought a much narrower holding.

– the New York Times editorial board, in an editorial about Wal-Mart v. Dukes entitled Wal-Mart Wins, Workers Lose.

Lawsuit of the Day: An ‘Eff You’ Motion to Dismiss

By Elie Mystal

Dear Mark Cuban: after you finish telling Fay Vincent where to stick his outdated and nonsensical opinions on what makes a good owner, please buy the New York Mets. We need you. Now that the Boss is dead, New York sports needs you. Lord knows, you wouldn’t have been stupid/unethical enough to be taken in by Bernie Madoff.

And we now know that if you did get in any sort of legal trouble, you are willing to hire the best lawyers around.

That’s right folks, today Mark Cuban’s lawyers showed themselves to have all of the chutzpah of the Mavericks’ owner himself. They filed a motion to dismiss a longstanding case against Cuban by Ross Perot Jr. Apparently, Junior owns a 5% stake in the Mavericks and has accused Cuban of being “reckless” in his leadership of the team.

Reckless in his leadership of the newly crowned NBA champions, that is.

In any event, Cuban’s lawyers decided to graphically dispute that point in a court document….

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Small Firms, Big Lawyers: Pricing Legal Services in Eight Easy(ish) Steps

By Jay Shepherd

So Lat calls me up all excited about some Biglaw Midsummer Bonus or something, which I totally ignore, and also about some hysterical dicta that Judge Kozinski wrote, which I also ignore (although it probably was pretty funny), and then he starts asking me about my law career. Which, you know, ended. And he points out that I failed to get ATL approval of my decision to close my small firm, which means technically, my column should just be called “Big Lawyers,” which is a whole other kettle of fish.

Then Lat says he knows how we can fix it. “Go on,” I say. Lat says that I can tell our readers exactly how to start pricing their legal services instead of just billing their time. “But Lat,” I plead, “I can’t give away my secrets. I have a whole new consulting firm to tell people these secrets in exchange for scads of dollars.”

Lat is quick to admonish me. “We don’t keep secrets from our readers, Jay. That’s why our readers know all about my obsession with all things Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld and why they all know that Elie is as jovial as an Ewok in real life.” Then his tone sharpened: “Plus we can always get Staci to write your column in a tenth of the time it takes you. And we can even have her use your name as a pseudonym.”

Well played, Mr. Lat, well played. So here then are the secrets to pricing your legal wares in eight easy(ish) steps.…

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The Legal Technology Leadership Summit: A Notable Keynote

By Above the Law

Exciting developments continue to unfold as we prepare for the Legal Technology Leadership Summit, presented by Above the Law in partnership with the Electronic Discovery Institute (EDI) and the American Society of Digital Forensics and eDiscovery (ASDFED). Today we are pleased to announce the speakers who will present the keynote address, which will kick off an informative two-day agenda featuring over 50 leading in-house legal experts:

Dickie Scruggs was at one time a preeminent plaintiffs tort lawyer, with major wins in tobacco, asbestos and insurance litigation. His reign ended with his conviction for the attempted bribery of a Lafayette County Mississippi Circuit Court Judge. Former U.S. Attorney Tom Dawson was heavily involved in the Scruggs investigation and prosecution. He and political blogger Alan Lange of YallPolitics.com detailed Scruggs’ dealings in their recent book, Kings of Tort.

In their keynote address, Dawson and Lange will provide an inside look at Scruggs’ modus operandi – complicity in the theft of corporate information (paper and electronic) by a company’s employees who are later paid consulting fees; providing those records to state attorneys general for their potential use in civil and criminal proceedings; striking contingent-fee arrangements with government agencies; the well-orchestrated political and public relations campaigns that accompanied the litigation; and the funneling of political contributions to state officials.

The authors will also provide an inside view of the eight-month undercover investigation and four months of litigation that followed resulting in the conviction and prison sentences of Scruggs, and four other defendants, three of whom were also tort lawyers, including Scruggs’s son and a former State Auditor.

This will certainly be a keynote address to remember. We hope to see you at the Ritz-Carlton on Amelia Island, Florida, on September 6 through 8. You can attend the Legal Technology Leadership Summit by registering here.

Earlier: For Legal Technology, Above the Law Needs An Entire Summit

Into the Wild: Where In the World Is Tyler Coulson?

By Staci Zaretsky

Tyler Coulson's dog, Mabel.

Do you remember our Lawyer of the Month for March, Tyler Coulson? In case you don’t, he’s the former Sidley Austin Chicago associate who decided that he’d rather take his dog on a cross-country walk than do another day of lawyering. Before leaving, Coulson sent what was described by a fellow Sidley source as the “coolest ‘f**k you I quit’ email” ever:

Today is my last day at Sidley. You may keep in touch with me at gtcoulson@gmail.com, through Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/tyler.coulson, or via Twitter, @ibuildnosystem.

Beginning next week, I am walking from Delaware to California with a tent and my dog, Mabel. I will have limited access to email, but will check messages frequently.

– Geo. Tyler Coulson

On March 9, 2011, Coulson began his journey in Delaware with his pooch Mabel, in the hopes of making it to California by September. So, inquiring minds at Above the Law want to know: What the heck happened to Coulson and man’s best friend?

Did he have to pull any crazy Bear Grylls maneuvers, like creating his own “sheeping” bag for warmth? Did he have to hack off his own arm with a dull blade, like in 127 Hours? To find out if Coulson’s story turned out anything like Into the Wild, read on….

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Straight Allies

By The People's Therapist

Ed. note: This post is by Will Meyerhofer, a former Sullivan & Cromwell attorney turned psychotherapist. He holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work, and he blogs at The People’s Therapist. His new book, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy, is available on Amazon (affiliate link).

LGBT people confront widespread hatred, yet each year take new strides towards equality. What’s the secret?

“Straight allies” – a concept every lawyer needs to understand.

As an LGBT person, you face a stark reality – there aren’t many of us. It might not seem like it, but we’re a tiny minority. And it’s a myth that we recruit straight people to be gay – we would, but it’s impossible.

“Straight allies” are the folks who aren’t LGBT but – because they’re caring, patient, loving, open-minded and plain decent – they help LGBT people persevere in the struggle for equal rights.

What’s this got to do with lawyers?

You need some allies, too – allies who aren’t lawyers. It’s key to your survival….

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Morning Docket: 06.22.11

By Staci Zaretsky

A college prank that could possibly leave you unemployed.

* Robbing one dollar from a bank just so you can go to jail and receive cheap medical treatment is… well, I can’t decide if this is brilliant or depressing. Is this what our country is coming to? [Los Angeles Times]

* A transgender man clerking for the Oregon Court of Appeals is suing the state to cover the costs of his hysterectomy. Yes, thanks to modern science, men can now have hysterectomies. [Statesman Journal]

* Law school loans may have ruined many people’s credit scores, but for most, drunken college antics have definitely ruined their social media consumer reports. [Consumerist]

* Preeta Bansal, general counsel for the OMB, will be leaving to join a think tank. Fear not, because her replacement has rolled around in Ivy and is bedazzled in Biglaw credentials. [Blog of Legal Times]

* If you’re looking to get out of going to trial, why not claim agoraphobia? Sure, you’ll have to sit in your house for a few years to be credible, but it’d be worth it to have a judge abandon your case. [Daily Mail]

* Escándalo in Escondido! Ladies, just when we thought it might be safer to tan indoors, some lawyer has to go and ruin it for all of us. [NBC San Diego]

* Above the Law wishes a very happy 80th birthday to Martin Lipton, creator of the “poison pill” and name partner at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz! [Wall Street Journal]

Fictional Lawyer Madness: The Sweet Sixteen, Part One

By Elie Mystal

We’re into the next round of the Fictional Lawyers Tournament. Most people here in the Breaking Media offices have filled out a bracket, and so far I’m getting crushed. I picked based on who I thought you guys would pick (not who I voted for myself), and I’ve been very wrong so far. It turns out the readers and I have more in common than I thought (which should probably scare the bejesus out of many of you readers).

But I’ve still got all of my final four lawyers alive. As we get started on the sweet sixteen, we should start to see which characters really have the juice to finish this thing.

Check out the full bracket below and then click through to vote on the match-ups from the left-hand side of the bracket. On Thursday, we’ll vote on the right side (CLICK HERE for part two of this round)….

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Non-Sequiturs: 06.21.11

By Staci Zaretsky

Mommy, have you seen my Hot Wheels car?

* Trademarks, and textiles, and taboos, oh my! Take a look into the fabulous world of fashion law with Charles Colman of Law of Fashion. [Professionelle]

* When you make stock market bets on SCOTUS outcomes, you better have a lot of money to throw around. Luckily, Ted Frank has plenty. [Point of Law]

* Jackass star Ryan Dunn passed away yesterday, which is sad. While normal people mourn the man who shoved a toy car up his butt, lawyers think up ways to assign liability. [Litigation & Trial]

* A J.D. is apparently still worth all of the debt associated with it because… why? Given that landing a job right now is about as easy as nailing jelly to a tree, how is this profession worth the debt? [Kiplinger]

* The blogs of the Am Law 100 have grown a lot this year, from 126 blogs to a whopping 269. Some firms are blogging duds, but I guess they’re busy making money. [Marketing Strategy and the Law]

* It may be better to be pissed off than pissed on, but getting peed on is apparently a natural step in professional development. [An Associate's Mind]

* Attorneys fall into one of three categories when it comes to the iPad: you got one; you want one; or your firm got one for you. Here are some lawyerly apps for you to play with. [Law Degree]

Career Center: Juggling Assignments and Your Sanity During the Summer

By Above the Law

'Please take me to a nice lunch!'

If the law firm is a circus, the summer associates are the clowns –- albeit clowns with one heck of a paycheck. I could go on and on with other circus-themed comparisons: the partner is the ring leader, the senior associates are the lion tamers, the junior associates on document review are the shovelers following the elephants to “sort” what comes out. But this post focuses on the summer associates who, like clowns, must learn how to juggle –- and instead of balls or bowling pins, summer associates must learn how to juggle several work assignments simultaneously.

According to Lateral Link’s Frank Kimball, an expert recruiter and former Biglaw hiring partner, one of the toughest challenges for young lawyers is managing their own workload. It is difficult to estimate the time that a project will take, especially since nothing in law school prepared you for the actual practice of law. Not to mention you will be working for several partners and attorneys simultaneously, which places an additional burden on you.

Here are some tips to help you juggle your assignments….

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Size Matters: Ice Is Not The Only One Who Loves Coco

By Valerie Katz

It may be true that all happy families are alike while each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Based on my experience going undercover as V. Katz, I have come to learn that this is also true for associates (Biglaw and small).

Based on the comments on the salary survey, there are many small-firm associates with grievances regarding transparency, salary, benefits, hours, etc. Based on conversations with Biglaw associates, there are many who are burnt out and looking to make a “lifestyle” change by moving to a small firm, in-house position, or government job (although hopefully they saw the results that showed many small-firm associates work similar hours to Biglaw). In my conversations with unemployed or underemployed associates, they bemoan their law school loans and hope for a job before they become “obsolete and unable to re-enter the work force at the same level they were at when they lost their jobs.”

For some reason, these associates reach out to me for comfort and guidance. So, I offer them my version of a pep talk, after the jump….

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