In an ideal world, every Courtship Connection would start with tequila shots and end with tongue-twisting. But given that we’re working with careful and risk-averse lawyer types, historically our participants have tended to put a damper on the sparks. And not just the romantic kind.
If there’s no chemistry, the next best option is brutal honesty about why that was. It’s rare to actually tell someone why a date was mediocre. It’s much easier just not to call afterward (or not to return a call, if the lack of chemistry wasn’t mutual). But these aren’t normal dates –- these are blind dates set up by a legal blog that involve anonymous, public reviews. If there are no sparks, ATL readers expect some snark. No one benefits from a “blah blah, x was a nice person, but we didn’t click” review. Readers get bored, and your disappointing date doesn’t learn anything about why he or she fails at first impressions. She seemed too desperate for a free meal? Note it. He’s a chatty Kathy? Be catty about it. Her exhaustion was a turn-off? Let us know. His ordering fancy French cocktails was unmanly? Emasculation notation, please.
In other words, Courtship Connection is supposed to be what happens when daters stop being polite, and start getting real. Think of your blind date as a legal memo and yourself as the partner reviewing it for flaws and fallacies before submitting it to the court. Let’s read between the lines and figure out why two recent dates fizzled instead of sizzled…
Continue reading “Two Courtship Connections, Zero Chemistry”
I was a very good student in Catholic school (except for the Catholic bits). But a quick Google search reveals that God explained rainbows to Noah as follows: “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”
Now, I’m not one of those guys who actually believes that one dude put two of everything on a boat. I’m not even one of those guys who knows so little about biology that I think you can repopulate anything with just two. But if you do believe in such stories, surely God’s bow is, like, a good thing. Surely there is nothing that man can do to defile that which was given by God as a sign of peace.
According to some Catholic schools in Canada, however, rainbows have caught “the gay,” and are now evil…
Continue reading “Apparently, God Hates Rainbows Now”
We recently reported that at least 22 partners have left O’Melveny & Myers in 2011 thus far. That number continues to grow.
Earlier this week, two more partners announced their imminent departures from OMM: Ilan Nissan, former firmwide co-chair of the firm’s M&A and private equity practice, and Christian Nugent, also an M&A partner. Like several of the other O’Melveny defectors, Nissan and Nugent arrived at OMM’s New York office via O’Sullivan Graev & Karabell, the highly regarded corporate boutique that O’Melveny absorbed in 2002, in an effort to build its NYC transactional practice.
Nissan and Nugent will be joining the New York office of Dewey & LeBoeuf. A spokesperson for Dewey confirmed the news to ATL. (A spokesperson for O’Melveny declined to comment.)
In addition, readers brought to our attention two O’Melveny partner departures from this year that didn’t appear in our earlier list. Let’s take a look….
Continue reading “More O’Melveny Partner Departures
Dewey get more talent? Yes.“
Mascot for a lost generation?
* Alabama’s new immigration law is hardcore, but may lead to an uptick in employment prospects. Those tomatoes aren’t going to pick themselves, you know. [Reuters]
* This New York fire department proves that if your career involves sliding down poles, you may as well cup some balls in the process. [Gothamist]
* Apparently, if you try to womanize tall, young, hot nymphs on the state’s dime, you may be entitled to civil immunity. [Green Bay Press Gazette]
* But if you’re a lowly furniture store manager, sneaking up on a co-worker and bopping her on the head with your d*ck falls outside the scope of your employment. [ABA Journal]
* I just saved 15% on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident. I committed a violent felony, too, but who cares about tutti-frutti details like that. [CNN Justice]
* Is the Lost Generation suffering from Jan Brady syndrome? Probably. We certainly bitch and whine and moan enough about being neglected. [WSJ Law Blog]
As I’ve mentioned before, I graduated from law school over $150,000 in debt. As many of you know, I haven’t exactly paid all of that money back. Not making payments that first year was all my fault. I wanted to get married, didn’t have a credit card, and was using money that should have been going to my loans to finance my wedding.
After that first year, things got a little out of hand. My debt was being sold, the monthly payments were outrageous, and I wasn’t really paying a lot of attention to the situation during the few times when I was both awake and not billing hours. Then I quit my law firm job, hilarity ensued, and I woke up one day with a credit rating below 550.
I’ve been paying the minimum balances to various collection agencies since 2007 or so. Whatever. My hopes for paying it off or owning property pretty much rest on my ability to hit the lotto. Most likely, I’ll die still owing money for law school. And that will be the story of me.
A reader emailed us, asking how bad non-payment of law school debt can really be. As one who has walked this path for eight years, I can honestly say it’s not that bad. Sure, it’s a completely different lifestyle than my friends lead. I can’t do “normal” things like get a Discover card or answer my unlisted telephone. But once you get used to it, it’s really not that bad. Your creditors will take away everything they can, but living a paycheck-to-paycheck, judgment-proof existence isn’t as bad as people make it look when they are trying to get you to sign up for a “free” credit reporting service….
Continue reading “Student Loan Debt: What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”
Ladies: if you're in NYC, it's okay to go around like this.
* An update to an item from yesterday’s Non-Sequiturs — or, “a domestic dispute version of Spy vs. Spy.” [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]
* And a response to yesterday’s controversial post about paralegals (and the educational credentials required for the position). [A Paralegal's Life]
* Are you a rising 3L looking for post-graduate employment at a law firm? Check out Waller Lansden’s innovative Schola2Juris program. [Schola2Juris via Am Law Daily]
* Here’s a subject that never gets old (we’ve discussed it before, and we’ll discuss it again): what not to wear as a summer associate. [Corporette]
* Ah, screw it — if you’re here in New York, ladies, just go topless. It’s legal! [Runnin' Scared / Village Voice]
45 Star Island Drive
* Billable Hours: The Movie. “This comedy follows one young lawyer as she is slowly driven crazy by monotonous work, obnoxious colleagues, and the constant buzzing of her BlackBerry.” [Billable Hours]
* Lawyerly Lairs: Roy Black, the high-profile Miami criminal defense attorney, buys a $7.1 million mansion. How many square feet does $7.1 million buy on Star Island? [Todd M. Glaser]
* Advice for PR folks: put some thought into addressing your bulk emails. Also, if you’re pitching us, read this tweet. [Constitutional Daily]
That’s very impressive support. Off the top of my head, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it. Washington is a small place, and informal channels will generally get word back to the relevant folks in the Senate without a public letter…. But the fact that so many conservative former clerks publicly support [Alison] Nathan’s nomination [to the S.D.N.Y.] is quite impressive.
– Professor Orin Kerr, commenting on a letter signed by 27 former Supreme Court clerks in support of the nomination of Alison J. Nathan, a former law clerk to Justice John Paul Stevens who has been nominated to a judgeship on the Southern District of New York.
The other day, I was watching television and I saw several commercials advertising divorce firms and personal injury firms. One ad featured a scene of nursing home neglect, followed by dramatic music and terms like “BEDSORES,” flashed across the screen in all-caps. Another ad featured William Shatner asking me if I needed legal help.
Two thoughts came to mind after watching these ads: (1) what shady television shows was I watching that would cause a legal marketer to decide that I was part of the target audience for people with issues relating to BEDSORES, and (2) does anyone actually decide to seek out a lawyer based on these seemingly ridiculous ads?
So I decided to investigate television advertising as a marketing technique for small and solo practitioners. Who, if anyone, stands to benefit from using television advertising?
Continue reading “Size Matters: Television Advertising — Is It Worth It?”
The normally tepid e-discovery world felt a little extra heat of competition yesterday. Recommind, one of the larger e-discovery vendors, announced Wednesday that it was issued a patent on predictive coding (which Gabe Acevedo, writing in these pages, named the Big Legal Technology Buzzword of 2011).
In a nutshell, predictive coding is a relatively new technology that allows large chunks of document review to be automated, a.k.a. done mostly by computers, with less need for human management.
Some of Recommind’s competitors were not happy about the news. See how they responded (grumpily), and check out what Recommind’s General Counsel had to say about what this means for everyone who uses e-discovery products….
Continue reading “Predictive Coding Patented, E-Discovery World Gets Jealous”
Welcome to the joys of the billable hour.
Jerry Maguire made a memorable plea to retain his client: “Help me, help you. Help me, help you.” As a summer clerk, you are very expensive for the law firm — in addition to your salary and entertainment expenses, firms spend hundreds of attorney hours monitoring your work and keeping you interested. You do not want to add more to that expense if it can be avoided, especially if it involves simply following firm policies and procedures. While we have already covered how summer associates should act in social settings in and outside the firm, summer associates must learn how to properly manage their work and conduct research on their day-to-day work assignments.
The following tips on time entry are brought to you by Frank Kimball of Lateral Link, an expert recruiter and former Biglaw hiring partner. Please note that these are general guidelines a summer associate should adhere to — be sure to check with your firm to determine what the firm’s actual policies are.
Now on to the tips….
Continue reading “Advice for Summer Associates: Don’t Cost Law Firms More Than You Have To”
A blow-up doll: Is there anything you could do with this that would be an act of terror?
Am I the only person who remembers what it was like to be a teenager? Am I the only freaking person up in here that values a good prank? Am I the only person left on this go***mn planet who doesn’t think teenagers who commit pranks should go to jail regardless of how much somebody overreacts to the prank?
Kids these days don’t need a school nurse; they need a school lawyer. Because the minute somebody scrapes a knee is the minute a parent, teacher, or official starts looking for somebody to blame and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. Kids should be freaking Mirandized before they answer any questions posed by school officials.
Sorry, let me bring you up to speed on this latest example of a teen acting like a teen while the adults act like children….
Continue reading “They Want To Send This Child Prankster To Jail, And Nobody Even Killed Themselves Over It”
Why will some lawyers just never learn that “creative” law firm websites are a bad idea? Over the years we’ve seen an odd array of crazy websites, and, while I may question the sanity of their creators, I must admit that the ever-growing collection has provided hours of entertainment.
Today’s addition, courtesy of a friendly tipster, is in a class by itself. I wouldn’t have thought that we needed a new category for “fantasy attorney websites,” but Rachel A. Runnels, Attorney at Law, has proven me wrong.
Ms. Runnels, a solo practitioner hailing from the distant mythical land of Arkansas, has decided that her professional website is the best place to let her inner dork shine. The result is a world that is far more ethereal than the one I trudge through on a daily basis. Venture with me into the world of Law and Light as we explore what Ms. Runnels’ website has to offer…
Continue reading “Lions and Tigers and Lawyers, Oh My…”
I recently heard a panel of judges speak about e-discovery issues. Their opinions on several subjects varied, but on one subject they agreed unanimously: Clawback provisions under Federal Rule of Evidence 502 are valuable tools in most significant litigation, but they remain rarely used.
This piqued my interest, so I asked several in-house litigators (not necessarily at the place where I work) whether they routinely seek FRE 502 clawback provisions in their cases. The in-house lawyers do not. And I asked whether outside counsel routinely recommend seeking those provisions. Not surprisingly (because the in-house folks aren’t using them), outside counsel do not.
The judges think clawback provisions are a good idea; in most situations, it strikes me that the judges are right. So what are FRE 502 clawback provisions, and why are inside and outside counsel routinely missing this trick?
Continue reading “Inside Straight: Clawback Agreements — An Oft-Missed Trick”
A lot of times we make jokes about how law students should be learning how to say “do you want fries with that.” Those jokes are funny, because they are true. And today we have proof.
Remember our terrible job rules: low salary is not enough. Given the state of the legal economy, getting minimum wage and health care to do actual legal work is a coup for a recent law grad in the Lost Generation.
But if you are getting minimum wage, no benefits, and using your law degree to indicate that you are a qualified to wait tables, well now we’re talking about a terrible job worth mentioning to Above the Law readers…
Continue reading “Is Your Law School Teaching You Hospitality Services?”
* Paul Clement laid down the law, or lack thereof, when it came to yesterday’s oral arguments on Obamacare in the Eleventh Circuit. [Reuters]
* “Hey, I have some cases that could exonerate your client, and you have a law firm job for my nephew. Wanna trade?” Best conflict of interest case ever. [Los Angeles Times]
* Americans like revenge a little bit too much. A public tar and feathering isn’t enough for our sleazy politicians. We have to legally lambaste them, too. [NPR]
* An Ohio judge has put the pervy masses on red alert about free upskirts at the county courthouse. Ladies, you may want to break out the GPs for motion sessions there. [Columbus Dispatch]
* Um, Mississippi, did you not get the memo? You were supposed to stop putting black kids in chains almost like 150 years ago. [Times-Picayune]
* Geriatric Florida lawyers want to exchange all pleadings on the email. In a place known for its technological deficiencies, this could be kind of dangerous awesome. [Sun Sentinel]
In my earlier story about Reema Bajaj, the 25-year-old Illinois solo practitioner who now faces prostitution charges, I noted that she seems “very sweet and wholesome,” as well as “a fundamentally decent person.” And I adhere to this position. When I reached out to her through her law firm website, to see if she had any comment on the charges, I received this auto-reply:
My confidence in you, dear lovely Reema, remains unshaken. I am impressed by your politeness. I suspect that there’s more to your story than meets the eye. I remind all of our readers that you have only been accused — and remain innocent until proven otherwise.
In response to our request for tips about Reema, we heard from one of her law school classmates, who provided additional info about Reema N. Bajaj….
Continue reading “More About Reema Bajaj, the Lawyer Accused of Prostitution”
* The bionic lawyer is coming. [CNET]
* Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. [Not So Private Parts/Forbes]
* Thank God somebody in Georgia understands the difference between Goth kids and murderers. [Siouxsie Law]
* The headline on this Pabst v. SEC story is worth the click. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Mitt Romney thinks gay should work, just not fall in love. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* Here are 25 legal marketing cliches to avoid… or only use ironically, amiright? [Ross's Law Marketing Blog]
Preparations continue for the Legal Technology Leadership Summit, presented by Above the Law in partnership with the Electronic Discovery Institute (EDI) and the American Society of Digital Forensics and eDiscovery (ASDFED). We are pleased to announce three new sponsors:
And two new speakers, who will be joining us at the Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, Florida, on September 6 through 8:
You can attend this event by registering here. CLE will be offered (details to follow), and there will be a special rate for groups. We hope to see you there.
Legal Technology Leadership Summit
Earlier: For Legal Technology, Above the Law Needs An Entire Summit
There’s not much I can add to this Weinergate thing that hasn’t already been covered on these pages and everywhere else. Congressman Anthony Weiner has said that he’s not going to resign over the scandal that he tweeted various body parts to women other than his wife. I believe that he will have to resign, although not because of the tweeting, but because of the lying about it afterward. (Previously, he claimed that his social-media accounts had been hacked. He then admitted that that wasn’t strictly true. Or even a little bit true. He also conceded that the dog had actually not eaten his homework.)
This online imbroglio has made many wonder why he would even consider posting compromising photos and language on Twitter. Or for that matter, why he would even be on Twitter in the first place. Or why anyone would be.
Lawyers in particular often have trouble understanding why they should be on Twitter. Even my esteemed colleague Mark Herrmann has “proved” that Twitter doesn’t work. Well, I’ve got news for people who doubt that they should be tweeting:
Many of them probably shouldn’t be.
In fact, I’ve tried to identify the types of people (in addition to shirtless politicians in various degrees of arousal) who should stay away from Twitter. Here, then, are five people who should never tweet….
Continue reading “Small Firms, Big Lawyers: Five People Who Should Never Tweet”
