If you’ve been searching the Illinois State Bar website looking for employment opportunities, you might have come across a “super duper” job option. Unlike most attorney job offers that grace our pages, this is not facially offensive. It’s an in-house position. The responsibilities seem legit.

The salary is not listed, but that is better than a listed wage of $10 per hour or something ridiculous. They appear to offer nice benefits to all their employees.

So why are we bringing this opportunity to your attention? Because when Red Bull and beer are listed as job perks, we know that our “bro” readers will want to hear about it…

The job opening is for a general counsel at Red Frog Events. Here’s the job description from the Illinois State Bar website. Don’t say we never did anything for you:

Red Frog Events (www.redfrogevents.com) is seeking a tremendously talented attorney to join our growing family. He or she will oversee all legal matters within Red Frog Events, review contracts, and serve as the liaison between other specialty law firms.

Our Spiel:

Creating fun and extraordinary events through innovation, creativity and top-notch participant service, while laughing all the way.

How We Roll:

Red Froggers are extraordinary people doing super duper things. We want to be the best. We don’t mind doing whatever it takes to get the job done. Our hustle is part of how we live our daily lives.

We’ve also found that having fun at work actually makes us more productive, so we take part in plenty of monkey business.

We have volunteer days, field trips, French Toast Fridays, pajama days, Wii breaks, dodgeball leagues, pet fish, foosball tournaments and generally more fun than you can shake a stick at. There’s also free Red Bull and beer in the fridge for the taking.

Can you imagine being a lawyer for these people? You’d end up saying some variation of “no” 350 times a day:

“No, you can’t do that. Because the hibachi is a fire hazard, that’s why. Damn it, did somebody check her ID? No I’m not worried if she’s 21, I’m worried that she’s not 18. Okay seriously, who brought the goat? Yes, they have laws in South America. It’s better if I don’t know what you are smoking. He can’t sign a waiver to do a damned illegal thing. WHAT DO YOU MEAN we can’t make payroll?”

I’m not trying to be a curmudgeon. I also like wearing pajamas and eating french toast and shaking sticks at things. I’m just trying to remind people that after you and the office monkey get hammered off the free beer in the fridge, at the end of the day there will still be a job to be done.

And that job, the lawyer job, more often than not will be to stop other people from having fun. Caution, discretion, risk aversion — these are the lawyer’s traits. The last thing a lawyer should want his client to do is engage in monkey business.

I don’t know what to tell you, I’m a guy who has a liter of rum on his desk and spends time in the office debating whether “it’s the tits” can be effectively used in a headline. Of course, I’m not a lawyer for my company and I wouldn’t want to be.

If you really want to pound Red Bull and beer all day and bust out the Wii after lunch, maybe the “law” thing isn’t your ultimate profession.

But you can always check out some of the other job opportunities at Red Frog.

In-House Counsel [Illinois State Bar Association]


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