DUI / DWI, Family Law, Lawyer Advertising, Small Law Firms, Solo Practitioners

Always Hire the Lawyer Who Can Break the Most Bricks

Every time we do a post about a crazy attorney website, our readers send in even more tips about the seemingly endless supply of wacky websites that are out there (which we appreciate, so keep ‘em comin’). Rarely, however, do we get a tipster begging us to place a fellow attorney in Above the Law’s crosshairs. Until now: “Can you please, please profile this guy, Mark Davis from Toledo, Ohio?” Well, since you asked so nicely….

As far as we can tell from his many, many websites, Mark A. Davis, a solo practitioner in Ohio and Michigan, is a sort of jack-of-all trades who aims to corner the market in all ways possible. In his own words: “Attorney Mark Davis, founder of The Davis Law Office has always lived his life to accomplish nothing less than excellence.”

Here, excellence means, among other things, being able to break bricks with his bare hands (sadly, the video links to these feats are “private” and can’t be viewed). In his opinion, your attorney should not only excel in the courtroom, but “should be mentally tough and a gentleman warrior.”

This gentleman warrior has taken to fighting the good fight on almost all possible legal fronts. Really, it seems that there is nothing that his guy hasn’t tried to do, both in the courtroom and out. From martial arts to starving horses, keep reading to uncover the many talents of Mark Davis….

The tales of Davis’s martial arts expertise are admittedly impressive:

  • While standing barefoot in a pile of broken glass, Mark Davis held an egg in one hand and broke two boards with the fingertips of his other hand.
  • Davis broke another board by placing his arm over the board and hitting his arm with a rock. The board split in two, but his arm stayed in one piece. He also broke a stack of five bricks using his elbow.
  • Davis also sliced a cucumber in half with a playing card.

Sure, he may have held world records for concrete block breaking (who hasn’t?), but will he win your case? Davis is the first to warn potential clients that heightened martial arts badassness does not directly translate into superior legal skills:

Attorney Mark Davis has had the good fortune to win international martial arts tournaments, which admittedly does not relate to the law, but may show characteristics, such as tenacity, that you might desire in someone fighting for your rights.

Davis is quick to offer up disclaimers when boasting of his other accomplishments as well. Take, for example, his spin on his chess skills:

Not always a sportsman, Mark Davis also revealed his intellectual side as a chess champion on the local, state, and national levels. Although some lawyers compare litigation to a chess match, a disclaimer must be made that prowess on a chess board does not determine success in the courtroom.

While no one can guarantee success, it’s rare to see an attorney so willing to both brag about and discredit his accomplishments in the same breath.

Davis unfortunately fails to address what seems to be one of his greatest talents, the ability to amass an impressive collection of crazy domain names. Davis promotes a wide variety of legal services at the following sites:

American flags and bald eagles are there at every turn to guide you through the sites. My favorite graphic is the soaring bald eagle with the American flag and a gavel superimposed inside the eagle’s outstretched wings. Could there be a better symbol of patriotic lawyerliness?

It takes some time to dig past all the brick breaking and patriotic symbolism to find Davis’s actual credentials. Davis graduated from the University of Miami Miami University with degrees in Finance, Economics, French, and German, and went on to study law at the Moritz College of Law at (THE) Ohio State University. He is proud to have passed the Ohio and Michigan bars on the first try. Practicing in both states ever since, he is doing his part to quell the notorious rivalry between the two.

While Davis’s approach to law might be a bit scattered, he does seem to land more interesting cases than most of us will ever see. His recent cases include a horse malnutrition case in which his client was accused of animal neglect, and a sexual abuse case in which his client claimed to have been sexually abused as a child during satanic rituals by a priest who was convicted in 2006 of murdering a nun in 1980. Sure, he may have lost these cases, but they beat reviewing insurance contracts any day.

Like every solo practitioner we’ve seen, Davis can’t help sharing a completely irrelevant non-legal story. His comes in the form of “The Legend of Shadow,” where you can learn the bizarre tale of how Davis came to own his black lab and that sex hotlines are apparently still 1-800 numbers in the Arizona desert.

When he’s not busy trying crazy cases, Davis is an adjunct professor of both Business Law and International Business Law at the University of Toledo. Davis is also campaigning for a judgeship with the Toledo Municipal Court. You can follow his campaign on Facebook and Twitter, and read all about his campaign pledges on his election website. Based on website pictures, Potential Judge Mark Davis is putting forward a kinder, gentler image than Attack Attorney Mark Davis. He again shares the “Legend of Shadow” with potential voters, which has garnered him a whole canine support base, Dogs for Davis.

If you know anyone in Ohio who needs, well, pretty much any kind of legal representation, or some bricks broken, or has a dog searching for a political candidate to back, Mark Davis might be your man. Just wear your best bald eagle tie and you’re in.

(hidden for your protection)

comments sponsored by

Show all comments