Chi-Town Courtship Connection

There are many kinds of journalism: investigative, advocacy, tabloid, service… Okay, there are four kinds of journalism we can currently think of. Above the Law’s Courtship Connection is in the service journalism camp. It’s our attempt to help over-worked, under-socialized, but ultimately lovable legal types, both lawyers and law students, to find romance. Or, failing that, inform them through a candid appraisal of a blind first date how they’re going about it all wrong.

So far, we’ve set up a Big Apple bushel’s worth of legal types in the city that never sleeps, and we’ve brought about quite a few political alliances in the nation’s capital. The third season of this series is debuting in Chicago, per readers’ choice.

If the Windy City has left you cold and lonely, and you’re willing and able to put your love life in ATL’s hands, I’ll do my best to set you up with a fellow legal eagle who doesn’t seem like a completely awful human being. If you’ve read past columns, you should know that I’m setting that bar low for a reason.

The survey, plus advice on how to prepare for a blind first date, after the jump…

Here’s the drill, for Chicago-area lawyers and law students:

Chicago

1. FILL OUT THIS SURVEY. Only folks in the greater Chicago area, please. I will try to match you with someone (not Reema Bajaj). You will write up your side of the date afterwards. I will write about it and keep you anonymous.

2. Start going to the gym a few times a week. Ab machines are everybody’s friend.

3. Take a few improv classes to work on your “spontaneous banter” abilities. Any time an improv player asks for a word to inspire a sequence, say “sex.” Once everyone gets tired of that, say “lawyer.” Make sure to always take on a role of “the lawyer” in every sequence you jump into. “Pretend” you are trying to have sex with another of the improv players… unless that improv player has taken on the role of a child.

4. Call up ex-girlfriends and/or ex-boyfriends and ask them about the qualities you need to work on to be a better companion, lustier lover, and more emotionally-supportive and nurturing partner…

5. Then make sure you’ve defriended all of those exes on Facebook to avoid any lingering attachment issues you may have.

6. Go shopping. Buy a first date outfit. Keep in mind that I will ask you to bring something unique to identify yourself. DO NOT buy this item in the kitchen supply store.

7. Think about what you will order on the first date. If your first thought is Blue Moon or a tremblement de terre, then please keep thinking.

8. Rest up.

9. Try not to get into a relationship before I get around to fixing you up with someone. If you are in a relationship, feel free to send the survey along to single friends, but don’t enter the pool yourself. Be aware that Courtship Connection is not Ashley Madison, Esquire.

10. Remember that first dates tend to be awkward — especially when they are blind dates organized by a legal blogger you’ve likely never met before. Be prepared to give your Courtship match a second try/date, but don’t let it stop you from writing a candid and entertaining review.

Go forth and get ready to procreate (or, rather, perform a simulation thereof). Fingers crossed.


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