July 2014

* Is this sexual harassment? Since when is deepthroating a popsicle sexual harassment? Looks like a case for the Association of Finnish Lawyers. [Copyranter]

* If Sarah Palin wants to sue somebody, it should be Michele Bachmann for copyright infringement. [The Legal Satyricon]

* Hey guys, next time you shoot a gay porn video, you can wear parts of your Marine uniform. Just make sure not to grunt “OOH-RAH,” when you climax, because that might be considered an endorsement. [Suits & Sentences / McClatchy]

* It’s like Democrats are just figuring out that the Supreme Court, not Congress, will decide what kind of health care we’re allowed to have. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Something tells me that calling the judge a “crazy ass mother f**ker” isn’t going to help you with your sentence. [Legal Juice]

* Radiohead will not be playing at the Occupy Wall Street thingy. When reached for comment, the band said: “It’s a fake plastic protest, man. In an economy based on rubber plans. That just crumbles. And burns.” [Slate]

* The right advice to this person is for her to major in something non-masturbatory so she graduates from college with some actual skills, and maybe doesn’t have to go to law school. [We Are The 99 Percent]

* Make sure you check out the final update on the Georgetown Law craziness from earlier today. [Above the Law]

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily think that it’s wrong to brag about receiving an offer in front of your friends, family, and total strangers. I personally subscribe to the Major League theory that you don’t want to be dancing in front of somebody who just died, but I understand that most of the kids these days have never even seen the movie I just referenced.

For the millennials, bragging comes so naturally they don’t even realize when they’re doing it. It’s like their biological imperatives are to survive, reproduce, and post evidence of it on Facebook.

Which is fine. I mean, just because somebody is bragging doesn’t mean you have to care. For instance, today we’ve got a kid bragging about getting an offer from a particular Biglaw firm. Some people will be envious; other people are going to make jokes about coat hangers. To each his own….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Best Way to Brag About an Offer: Just Lay It Out And Bask In Your Own Glory”

Last week, we asked our readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Earlier this week, you voted on the finalists. We should probably announce the winner before another George Mason Law student finances his education with “charitable” donations….

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News and tips are just starting to trickle in, but apparently the Georgetown University Law Center campus is on lockdown because of an armed man on campus.

Details are light, but the local ABC affiliate is reporting the news.

A GULC student — who seems fairly unconcerned — gchatted in to say: “The GW STUDENTS ARE COMING!!!” So at least somebody over there still has a sense of humor.

Stay safe everybody, and follow whatever instructions you are getting. We will update you as we have more news.

UPDATE: After the jump, we have the full bulletin issued to the GULC community….

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It’s Friday, Friday, gotta talk about grammar on Friday. Welcome back to Grammer Pole of the Weak, a column where we turn questions of English grammar and usage over to our readers for discussion and debate.

Last week, we discovered that 75% of our readers love to use substantive footnotes in their legal writing. Aww, Scalia would be so proud.

And speaking of Scalia, we’ve given him a little too much time in the limelight in this series. So, this week, we’re going to turn to an issue of grammar with some stylistic flair that was brought to our attention by another member of SCOTUS….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Grammer Pole of the Weak: The Case of That v. Which”

Ed. note: Welcome to the inaugural installment of Moonlighting, a column for in-house lawyers by our newest writer, Susan Moon. Susan’s column will appear on Fridays.

Come one, come all, to this paradise we call The In-house Wonderland. This is a magical place where all of your time-billing nightmares turn into hazy clouds of doing whatever the heck you want, when you want, and not keeping track of any of it. Where you hire outside firms to do all of the legwork while you sip your latté and email them to let them know that you actually need it a week earlier than you thought (so yeah, that would be in about two hours, kthxbai)! A Xanadu in which you’re never in fear of getting pushed up and out just because you can’t find ways to bring in millions (wait, is it billions now?) for the firm.

Yes, it is a dream…. Unfortunately, just a dream.

I’ve been in-house for the past several years at a travel and hospitality company. My work is varied and transactional, which means the general public has absolutely no idea what it is I do, since the only lawyers that they know exist are litigators from Law & Order, The Practice, Boston Legal… need I go on? Let’s face it, even most law students have no idea what corporate lawyers do either, since law schools seem to have signed a pact to pretend that transactional law doesn’t really exist. Sigh….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Moonlighting: Welcome to the In-House Wonderland”

Most people around here will remember the story of Stephanie Grace (a.k.a. Crimson DNA). She wrote a racist — albeit private — email to a frenemy that eventually got out and went viral.

The general public tends to be surprised when allegedly intelligent Harvard students spew racist tripe, and I think that’s why the Grace story became mainstream news. The story wasn’t a “teachable moment” or a deep look at the racism that even the very best education can’t seem to stamp out. It was just a story about another white person who had a low opinion of black people. That happens all the time, especially at Harvard Law. HLS has a long and storied history of admitting people who end up insulting the entire black community at the school.

The lesson, if anything, from the Stephanie Grace saga, is that things worked out for her. She got a clerkship with Alex Kozinski and she seems to be doing well. Things always work out for these kind of high profile, well-educated people who happen to harbor racist thoughts. Things worked out for Kiwi Camara, another Harvard Law student who managed to be shockingly and publicly racist while he was at school.

Because if you go to Harvard Law School, there is really no kind of ignorant, racist statement you can make that somebody in power in the legal community won’t defend. A white Harvard Law student could shoot Medgar Evers and there would be some professor or judge eager to defend the kid and give him or her a second chance.

Don’t believe me? Get back to me in three years when we see what happens to the self-styled “Harvard Law Caveman” who apparently woke up two weeks ago and decided it’d be a fabulous idea to start a racist blog….

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* Now that DADT has been repealed, the Ninth Circuit has tossed the Log Cabin Republicans case. How does that Paula Abdul song go? Two steps forward, two steps back? [Los Angeles Times]

* Is this a new way of protecting taxpayers? In early 2012, Bank of America is going to start charging $5 a month for debit card purchases. Thanks Dodd-Frank, thanks a lot. [Wall Street Journal]

* Bob Morse of U.S. News wants to know if the ABA will “take more steps . . . to ensure data integrity” in light of the latest admissions data scandal. Aww, you’re so cute. [ABA Journal]

* The DOJ wants Raj Rajaratnam’s medical information, but they probably don’t need it. Just pick some of the usual fat people diseases, like diabetes and high blood pressure. [Bloomberg]

* If I only had a brain heart lower recidivism rate. A serial shoplifter is probably going to lose out on a heart transplant because her health insurance doesn’t cover inmates. [New York Daily News]

* You realize that if the general public could kill all the lawyers and replace them with robots, they’d do it in a second. [Slate]

* Dear career women: choice is an illusion. [The Careerist]

* Moms can’t complain without being sued for defamation? [Overlawyered]

* Why be small enough to fail when you can be so big that the government has to bail you out? [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Age discrimination in this economy wouldn’t happen as much if older people lied about their age on Facebook and Twitter. [Huffington Post]

* An update on the appeal of Amanda Knox, who was previously convicted, together with ex-boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito, of killing her former roommate, Meredith Kircher. [CNN]

* You gotta be kidding me, these Occupy Wall Street protests are still going on? [Washington Post]

* At least the protesters are providing good training for cops who like to use excessive force. [Dealbreaker]

File this under the category of “better late than never.” Holland & Knight never adopted spring bonuses like other Biglaw firms. Why? Who knows. The firm didn’t want to play ball. Whatever.

Now the firm wants to put a little extra money into the pockets of Holland & Knight associates. Today, sources tell us that Holland & Knight announced it would be paying out a “fall” bonus. I guess it was a good summer at the firm.

But don’t get confused, this is supplemental money to the 2010 bonus, not an advance on the 2011 bonus. As we’ve already mentioned, firms are using 2011 revenue to pay for 2010 performance, so you really can’t count it against the 2011 bonus pool.

And Holland & Knight acknowledges that….

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