Alisha Smith
In our sexually repressed society, we just love it when “normal” people are exposed to have kinky sex lives. The bigger the disparity between the person’s “regular” daytime pursuits and their nighttime shenanigans, the better.
And while we know better here at Above the Law, the outside world tends to think “lawyer” is about as conservative a day job as possible. It’s a profession of discretion. So when the New York Post found a lawyer, a government lawyer no less, who reportedly gets paid to be a dominatrix on the side, it was going to be big news.
But come on, doesn’t “dominatrix” sound like relatively normal sexual activity for a securities lawyer working in the New York Attorney General’s office? This doesn’t sound like something she should be punished for.
Let she who is really satisfied by going home to five minutes of missionary before Leno cast the first stone….
Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day: Is This Manhattan Assistant AG Turning It Around On Them Like a Woman Who Puts On A…?”
In case I haven’t said this already, welcome back, law students. When you guys are gone over the summer, we have to report on real scandals and real issues.
But now that you guys are back on campus, it’s time to fire up the “dumb law student story” machine.
NYU Law, you’re up first….
Continue reading “NYU Law: SBA President v. Treasurer v. Decorum v. Things Law Students Care About”
There’s one guy in your outfit who understands the need not to write stupid e-mails: That’s the guy who just spent all day in deposition being tortured with the stupid e-mails that he wrote three years ago.
That guy will control himself. He’ll write fewer and more carefully phrased e-mails for the next couple of weeks. Then he’ll go back to writing stupid stuff again, just like everyone else.
You can’t win this game; no matter what you say, people will revert to informality and write troublesome e-mails. But you’re not allowed to give up. What’s an in-house lawyer to do?
Continue reading “Inside Straight: Avoiding E-Mail Stupidity”
* Opponents of New York’s gay marriage law are suing because the Senate kept negotiations in the closet. AG Eric Schneiderman has moved to dismiss the suit, citing a lack of fabulosity. [Wall Street Journal]
* Seven states have joined the Department of Justice in asking to be crossed off the guest list for AT&T’s marriage to T-Mobile. Why? They know there’s no reception to follow. [International Business Times]
* Apparently the law is old-fashioned and doesn’t like it when women are on top, but any way you slice it, we’re still getting screwed. [Washington Post]
* DSK has admitted that his May rendezvous with a Sofitel slampiece was a “moral error.” Really? Come on, bro, we all know that you think your greatest error was getting caught. [Reuters]
* Matthew Couloute Jr., the lawyer suing his exes over their alleged online comments, tells his side of the story, saying of Stacey Blitsch: “Oh, that’s a mistake.” Ohhh, burrrn. [New York Post]
* Max Wildman, co-founder of Wildman Harrold Allen & Dixon, RIP. [Crain's Chicago Business]
* Yo, in case you are wondering, lawyers are usually number 10, “the note leaver” on this badass list of New York neighbors. [Village Voice]
* Leveraging yo’ boomin’ body for cash. Good tips for 1Ls. [The Careerist]
* You know what your meticulous, typo-free writing style you learned in your legal writing course is worth on the open market? About 5 cents a word. Truth yo’. Think about that next time I end a fly sentence with a preposition. [Law and More]
* I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a female “sports” lawyer. Rock on with yo’ badself. [Legal Blitz]
* Those crazy Texans announced their Twitter brief winners, yo’. Some slammin’ entries here. [Legal Skills Prof Blog]
* I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of Non-Sequiturs, brought to you by Yo’ MTV Sequiturs.
About a year and a half ago, Morrison & Foerster unveiled an insane edgy new website, openly embracing its MoFo moniker and a new “What the MoFo?” theme. At the time, we walked you through the minefield of interactive design elements that the site offered.
Now, after what I can only guess has been a year and a half of head scratching, if not outright mockery, from clients and other lawyers, MoFo has apparently decided to abandon its $1 million design experiment in favor of a more traditional approach to law firm advertising. Gone are the brainteasers and optical illusions. Gone are the indecipherable picture puzzles.
But fear not, there is still plenty of crazy to be had. Find out all about the new “MoFo mojo” after the jump….
Continue reading “MoFo Launches New, Somewhat Less Crazy Website”
Alright, we’ve got a little bit of a bone to pick with career services offices. Aren’t the people who work there supposed to help law students find jobs? Or at least give law students some clues about how they can find jobs themselves?
Apparently that’s not happening anymore. Just in case you haven’t had enough, here’s another report on the depressing things that are going on in law schools today.
In lieu of jobs or career advice, career services offices are now offering children’s poetry to their students….
Continue reading “You’re Saying the Cat Got a Job Because of His Hat?”
Everybody’s working for the weekend. But for now, while you’re still stuck at work, you should take a look at our latest Grammer Pole of the Weak, a column where we turn questions of English grammar and usage over to our readers for discussion and debate.
Last week, we found out that even federal judges are capable of creating fugly new words. Chief Judge Kozinski, stop trying to make “dissental” and “concurral” happen. They’re not going to happen!
This week, we’ve got a lighter topic to discuss. Do you have any fun weekend plans? If you do, you might want to reconsider your usage of the word “fun”….
Continue reading “Grammer Pole of the Weak: Got Any Fun Weekend Plans?”
From what we hear, it’s been a wild couple of days at Tulane Law School, ever since we outed the convicted murderer in their midst. Well, we didn’t out him; Bruce Reilly outed himself, on his blog (in a post that he has since taken down). But being profiled on Above the Law can sometimes stir up the pot.
Or not. As one tipster put it:
Your article on Bruce Reilly has stirred quite the tempest down here at Tulane: A small, mossy cluster of students typically found speed-typing, whispering and tittering in a darkened corner of the library began typing, whispering and tittering even faster! Meanwhile, everyone else went to class.
Yes, we’ve been getting all kinds of reactions from the Tulane community since our original post went up. The story has even gone mainstream. Reilly was profiled in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, and his story was picked up by USA Today and ABC News.
But the mainstream media won’t tell you the details of the actual crime at hand. Our Tulane readers have been asking to know more about the actual murder Reilly served time for. We’ve dug up some of the old reports….
Continue reading “Law & Murder: Tulane Law School Follow-Up and Poll”
Is there anybody out in Above the Law land who took the bar in Utah this summer?
Anybody want to know if they passed?
Last year, the New York Board of Law Examiners accidentally released the results of the summer test earlier than they meant to. They tried to take the post down, but Above the Law caught them and posted the results. It crashed the site.
Hopefully, there aren’t enough prospective lawyers in Utah to do that to us. But it appears that the examiners in Utah have made a similar error.
And once again, an Above the Law tipster was watching….
Continue reading “The UNOFFICIAL Utah Bar Exam Results”
We get it, law students: the curve sucks. Because the law school curve affects important things like class rank, law review eligibility, and employment opportunities, it can make or break your life. And in a world where the legal market is still recovering from circling the drain, your grades mean more than they ever did in the past.
While the curve reflects some amount of fairness for larger classes, what happens to the students in smaller classes? You’d think that if everyone in a seminar class kicked ass on the final, the school would allow the professor some leeway with the mandatory curve. That seems like it would be fair, right? It’s a load of bull if the school refuses to step away from the curve in this kind of a situation.
And speaking of bull, apparently if you mess with one in Texas, you’ll get the horns (or at least be called a crybaby). A student at the University of Texas School of Law is trying — albeit unsuccessfully — to fight the powers that be….
Continue reading “Fight the Power: Is There a Way Around the Curve?”
Andrew Shirvell: Photoshopportunity?
* SCOTUS halted Duane Buck’s execution in Texas last night. How did it take 16 years for this to happen? Slow and steady doesn’t win the race on death row. [CBS News]
* Casey Anthony owes the state of Florida a pretty penny. At this rate, she may as well go to law school, because she’s already $97,626.98 in the hole. [CNN]
* New lawyers in Florida must take civility pledges. If they’re treating each other with such incivility, why haven’t we seen any benchslaps from that state lately? [ABA Journal]
* The U.S. Trustee has thrown a curveball at two Biglaw firms in the Dodgers bankruptcy case. Will Dewey & LeBoeuf and Young Conaway ever get paid? [Bloomberg]
* You’re so vain, you probably think this movie’s about you. Sorry guys, you may be a few good men, but to be Tom Cruise, you have to be good-looking and have a passion for Xenu. [New York Times]
* Andrew Shirvell has to spill the beans on whether Ave Maria had to warn the state bar about his conduct. Apparently the man’s got great gaydar. Wonder why… [Detroit Free Press]
Gregory Berry
Kasowitz Benson comes to bury Berry, not to praise him. The firm has moved to dismiss the $77 million lawsuit filed against it by Gregory S. Berry, the former first-year associate at Kasowitz who claimed that the firm wrongfully terminated his employment due to its inability to handle his “superior legal mind.” Berry also alleged fraud, breach of contract, and a host of other claims.
On Wednesday, Kasowitz Benson filed its motion to dismiss Gregory Berry’s complaint, accompanied by a 22-page memorandum of law. The firm’s brief is fairly straightforward, advancing the arguments you’d expect it to make.
But there are a few fun tidbits here and there. Let’s have a look, shall we?
Continue reading “Berry v. Kasowitz Benson: The Empire Strikes Back”
* Nikki Finke, the Deadline.com diva, disses Debevoise. [Am Law Daily]
* This kind of friendly fun between opposing counsel would surely warm Jay Shepherd’s heart. [The Namby Pamby]
* This opinion describes a murder gory enough to turn the stomach of Bruce Reilly (aka the Tulane 1L Murderer). [You Shall Never Know Security]
* A new national poll on same-sex marriage shows that… Americans aren’t very good at answering poll questions. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* I definitely live it up when in Las Vegas, but even I have a hard time fathoming a $20,000 hotel bill. [Deadspin]
* Law Firm Merger Mania: Fulbright & Jaworski + Norton Rose? [Legal Week via ABA Journal]
* Good luck to S.D.N.Y. nominee Jesse Furman (who’s a talented attorney and a great guy, and who edited my case note once upon a time). [National Law Journal]
* An interesting issue: “In free speech vs. privilege battle, who wins?” [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* If we didn’t waste spend this much money on litigation, wouldn’t there be even more unemployed lawyers? [eLocalLawyers]
Think back when you were five years old and learning how to swim. A parent or an older sibling probably took you to a pool or pond, told you to hold your breath, and then pushed you in. Your head went underwater, you flailed your arms, and swallowed enough water to fill a gallon jug. Eventually, you made yourself learn how to tread water and keep your head above water.
Hope you enjoyed that trip down memory lane; if you are a law student, you will be learning how to swim on your first days at work — and fast.
There is no substitution for learning on the job, but there are some things future associates should consider before taking the plunge into the deep end. Check out the following tips, courtesy of Lateral Link’s Frank Kimball, and use them as your flotation device during your first few days as a law firm associate….
Continue reading “Career Center: Ten Things Every Law Student Should Know Before Starting at a Law Firm”
Two petitions of possible interest showed up in our inbox today:
1. In favor of student loan forgiveness: This petition, reminiscent of Elie Mystal’s call for a student loan bailout, “strongly encourage[s] Congress and the President to support H. Res. 365, introduced by Rep. Hansen Clarke (D-MI), seeking student loan forgiveness as a means of economic stimulus.” (We mentioned H.R. 365 in Morning Docket.)
2. In favor of law school transparency: This petition, posted by Professor Paul Campos over at his formerly anonymous blog, calls for “the American Bar Association to require all schools it has accredited to release clear, accurate, and reasonably comprehensive information regarding graduate employment, by for example implementing the proposals outlined in Part III of the Law School Transparency Project’s white paper, A Way Forward: Transparency at U.S. Law Schools.”
We might have more to say about these petitions later. For now, we’ll just pass along the links (and you can argue the merits of these petitions in the comments).
Want a Real Economic Stimulus and Jobs Plan? Forgive Student Loan Debt! [SignOn.org]
Law School Petition [Inside the Law School Scam]
Earlier: Student Loan Bailout. Just Do It.
The Tenured Law Prof Turned ‘Scamblogger’ Reveals Himself
As you can likely tell, I am fascinated by terminology. I understand the importance of using language to market and promote your firm. I had never thought, however, about the use of terminology within a firm until recently.
The word that inspired this revelation is “project.” Project is used in many ways and with multiple connotations:
(1) “She is my pet project.” This means that “she” is a disaster and needs help. Project is used to demean.
(2) “I am undertaking a house renovation project.” This means that “I” am boring. Project is used literally.
(3) “Do not tell anyone about Project X.” This means those who are a part of Project X are either CIA agents, criminals, or my mother (Project X = Project Val). Project is used mysteriously.
(4) “Hi Val, you are going to be in charge of the data gathering project.” This means that I have a terrible assignment to complete. Project is used insincerely….
Continue reading “Size Matters: Project X”
See The Compact Oxford English Dictionary 486 (2d ed. 1991) (defining “dominatrix” as a “female dominator; mistress, lady”); see also Urban Dictionary (retrieved on Aug. 23, 2011) (defining “dominatrix” as, inter alia, “a woman who controls her partner mentally and physically, usually in a sexual way,” and “is stereotypically pictured as wearing stiletto boots, [a] black leather outfit, and hold[ing] a whip”).
– Judge Stephen Dillard of the Court of Appeals of Georgia, in footnote 2 of Orton v. Masquerade, Inc. (Sept. 14, 2011).
(For purposes of the opinion, it seems to me that the Urban Dictionary definition is superior to the OED’s.)
A week or two ago, someone asked us why we use Fordham Law as our personal punching bag. We don’t. The school just provides us with great fodder to write about. Yeah, we might joke about graduates of Fordham being homeless, but some law students at the school are actually trying to help the less fortunate. You know, the thing that lawyers are supposed to do?
