With Election 2012 in sight, Gallup just finished conducting nationwide polls on government approval ratings, with a focus on the Supreme Court. Now, in a typical employment situation, how well you’re able to perform your job is something that actually matters. Donald Trump could have a field day with the current SCOTUS roster. Haven’t spoken in over five years? You’re fired. Fell asleep at the State of the Union address? You’re fired.
But guess what, folks? No one with a bad combover is going to be there to fire a Supreme Court justice over some possibly problematic behavior. What’s more is that our SCOTUS justices probably don’t really care about your opinion. Approval ratings or not, they have life tenure, and their decisions are the only ones that matter….
Continue reading “SCOTUS Approval Ratings Tank, But Who Is to Blame?”
Occasionally it’s fun to see what non-lawyers think about the profession. Yes, we know they “hate” lawyers because, well, most people don’t like getting screwed out of alimony or dealing with insurance companies. But it can be interesting to remember just how little non-lawyers understand about the legal profession.
They don’t even really understand why lawyers get paid.
The other day, there was a good question on Quora: “Why are lawyers so expensive even with the excess supply of lawyers?”
You kind of love clients who bitch about the high price of lawyers, yet wouldn’t take a phone call from one of the thousands of unemployed or underemployed lawyers who are begging for work.
But, sure, some lawyers are still highly priced — maybe even overpriced — despite an excess supply of lawyers in general.
Let’s see if any of the lawyers here can actually give some helpful answers to this question….
Continue reading “Why Are Lawyers So Expensive? Well, Are They Really?”
David and Sandra have enjoyed it. I kind of like not having to read a lot of briefs and get reversed by my former colleagues.
– Justice John Paul Stevens, in a humorous quip about the willingness of his fellow retired justices, Sandra Day O’Connor and David H. Souter, to sit by designation on the circuit courts.
(Justice Stevens just published a new book — Five Chiefs: A Supreme Court Memoir (affiliate link) — to coincide with the start of the latest Term of SCOTUS, which got underway this week. Adam Liptak of the New York Times praises the memoir as “engaging and candid.”)
I write about hacking and data security periodically, even though sometimes I get the feeling legal professionals try hard not to think about the subjects. But the stories in this realm bear repeating. Corporate data security is a real concern for many, many corporate attorneys, and especially in-house counsel.
Data security problems used to stem most frequently from weak firewalls or unencrypted equipment. But more and more, the biggest sources of risk and liability are just dumb or technologically overeager employees.
What kind of computer trouble are you and everyone you know getting your company or firm into? Let’s see….
Continue reading “You Are Your Company’s Biggest Security Risk”
This doctor has a real hands-on approach.
* An EEOC lawsuit claims that white workers were fired for being muy perezoso, and Hispanic workers were hired instead. Well, that’s a reverse stereotype if I’ve ever heard one before. [Businessweek]
* Guns only have two enemies: rust and liberals. And apparently there are a lot of liberals in the nation’s capital, because the D.C. Circuit upheld a ban on assault weapons. [Blog of Legal Times]
* Occupy Wall Street protesters have sued, demanding that their arrests be deemed unconstitutional. Right there! That’s the bank! That’s the bank that took my freedom! [Bloomberg]
* Tone Lōc should’ve followed his own advice. You don’t play around with the funky, cold medina. He was sentenced this week for domestic violence and weapons charges. [Burbank Leader]
* Thinking of posting before and after boob job pics on your website with the patients’ names listed? Picture a Baywatch-style slomo of women running to their lawyers. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
It continues to baffle me how this president who was elected thanks to the overwhelming support of young people can’t see the crushing effect of student debt. I honestly think that President Obama has a blind spot on this issue because he was able to pay off his debts with a book deal. Not everybody gets a book deal.
Heck, in this economy, not everybody gets a job.
And if you don’t have a job, paying off your student loans is the last thing on your list. First comes shelter, then food, then dating, then internet (so you can look for jobs), then all the bills where they take something away from you if you don’t pay, then alcohol, and then you see if you have any money left over to pay your student loans.
I didn’t make that last paragraph up. That’s a pretty standard hierarchy of human needs.
For some reason, Obama doesn’t understand that. He seems to think that if you pester people more, they’ll pay off their loans. Thanks to this flawed logic, expect debt collection calls to be coming to a cell phone near you….
Continue reading “Obama Authorizes More Debt Collection Calls in Futile Attempt to Collect Blood From Rocks”
Does this man look like he's running... for anything?
* Chris Christie is not coming to save the Republican party in 2012. Brother looks hot for 2016 though. [CBS]
* Wait, firing people Survivor-style is illegal? Lat… we need to talk. [Des Moines Register]
* I don’t understand the people who think they learned something from the Ni**erhead Ranch thing. I mean, are there people out there thinking: “You know, I thought Rick Perry really liked black people, but now I’m not so sure.” [Huffington Post]
* Don’t smell me, bro. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Journalists get bonuses even when their company is bankrupt. I hope nobody tries to occupy the Tribune building. [Poynter]
* A new section at SCOTUSblog. [SCOTUSblog]
* Norton Rose is one of many firms to find a merger partner. [Am Law Daily]
* It’s vodka day. Do you care why? Just have a drink. [Every Joe]
As some of you may be aware, it is the Jewish New Year. This means that I get two opportunities to reflect on the past year and make resolutions. Indeed, I have now resolved — for the second time — to eat less carbs. The problem with these kinds of resolutions is that they usually do not work. I think it has something to do with putting way too much emphasis on one day (New Year’s Day, or I guess Rosh Hashanah), rather than working towards a goal consistently throughout the year.
At work, the equivalent of the New Year’s Resolution is the year-end review. All of ones strengths and weaknesses displayed in the prior year are discussed during a thirty-minute conversation that often ends with a bonus check and/or tears. The year-end review, like the New Year’s Resolution, does not work. Rather than getting feedback only once a year, you should make every day New Year’s Day. Well, maybe not every day….
Continue reading “Size Matters: Tell Me I Am Pretty”
We’re about a month or so away from the arrival of the 2011 year-end bonus season. You know what that means: time to start freaking out. And maybe make a prediction while you’re at it. Take our short survey, brought to you by Lateral Link, and give us your best guess as to how Biglaw’s 2011 year-end bonus market will compare to 2010.
As always, responses are kept completely confidential. Be sure to check back later in the week to find out where everyone else thinks the bonus market is heading.
Welcome back to Above the Four Loko. In today’s episode, we find that the drink that used to combine alcohol and caffeine in really obvious ways has settled a false advertising suit with the Federal Trade Commission.
As we’ve discussed often with Four Loko, the alcoholic kick IS the appeal of the product. This drink is not getting by on its taste.
But it appears that regulators can’t grasp this simple point. So, as part of the settlement, Four Loko is being forced to make it more obvious just how potent their drink is.
Uhh… okay….
Continue reading “Four Loko Settles With FTC — Will Improve ‘Warning’ That Product Will Get You Drunk”
Happy Tuesday, Above the Law readers. I hope you had a lovely weekend, spent staring deeply into someone’s eyes over a candlelight dinner, or rubbing up against a hard-bodied young thing on a dance floor, or fighting the cold by cuddling on the couch, or — if you live in Florida — doing all those things and more with your favorite barnyard animal for the very last time (legally).
If you had a romance-free weekend, do not despair. Dating sucks sometimes — especially when it’s a date set up by a legal blogger with no particular aptitude for matchmaking. Last week, I thought I had actually done a decent job. I sent two Washington, D.C. lawyers out to Eighteenth Street Lounge on a Thursday night. Halfway through the date, the dude sent me an email, “Going really well so far.”
“I finally have one that’s going well,” I enthused to my boyfriend. “Doubtful,” he responded. “If he’s excited enough to send a mid-date email, that probably means you set him up with someone who’s totally out of his league.”
I should mention that one of the things that I like in a partner is their being slightly more perceptive than me….
Continue reading “Courtship Connections: Out Of His League”
In light of the tough job market for graduating law students, we’ve been running a series on employment opportunities for 3Ls. Thus far we’ve covered judicial clerkships, the Justice Department Honors Program, the Presidential Management Fellows Program, and the Chief Counsel’s Employment Program at the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency.
Today we bring you news about another arm of the federal government that is hiring graduating law students as well as experienced attorneys. But if you’re interested, you need to act fast; applications are due as early as tomorrow….
Continue reading “More Jobs for 3Ls — But Applications Are Due ASAP!
(And job opportunities for experienced attorneys too.)“
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By the time we get to the iPhone7, buying one will automatically apply you to law school.
We’ve talked about the drop in law school applications. Generally, this is a good thing. Less pressure on law school tuition is a good thing for students, and it’s not like schools can’t fill out their classes.
Well, most schools. Some schools — especially schools that are not highly regarded — are feeling the sting of fewer people eager to go to law school.
And so we have the latest innovation in law school fleecing technology. Now you can apply to a law school on your iPhone. Because this is really the kind of decision you want to make as quickly as possible….
Continue reading “Law School Actively Encourages People To Apply Before They Go Home And Think”
Last week it emerged that a British teenager had been jailed for two months for taking a photo on his cellphone from the public gallery of a courtroom. Now, I know in the U.S. you’d probably just have executed the kid, but to us effete Europeans it seems a little harsh to dish out prison time for such a minor offence.
The sentence — which drew criticism even from the right-leaning Times newspaper — follows the unusually tough terms given to those involved in the U.K.’s August riots. In one instance, a judge jailed two men for four years each for setting up Facebook pages inciting others to riot — despite the fact that neither page resulted in any rioting. In another case, a 23-year old electrical-engineering student with no previous convictions was given a six-month custodial sentence for stealing a £3.50 ($5.45) case of bottled water from a ransacked discount store in South London.
Brits are split on this new mood of authoritarianism….
Continue reading “Letter from London: Curing a ‘Sick’ Society”
Karolina Stefanski
* Anna Nicole Smith is still screwing old white men from beyond the grave. Biglaw firms want Heller Ehrman’s claims to be decided in federal court, not bankruptcy court. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* Kirkland & Ellis is pledging $2.75M to Stanford Law over the next five years in an effort to convince more students to take douchey pictures in front of their office signage. [Stanford Daily]
* Slow and steady wins the race, especially when it comes to reporting the news. A few news sites were eager to let readers know that Amanda Knox lost her appeal… except she didn’t. [Atlantic Wire]
* The Supreme Court has rejected yet another Obama birther lawsuit. Legal reasoning? “STFU, we’ll probably only have to deal with this dude for another year.” [CBS News]
* TWU to NYPD: Please don’t force us to listen to these Occupy Wall Street fools. We’d rather have our regular crazies on board. Of course, their lawsuit says it a bit more eloquently. [Wall Street Journal]
* Karolina Stefanski is being sued by an ex over some blank checks to the tune of $80K. Seriously, who cheats on a Playboy model? I mean, come on, boobs. [New York Post]
When Berkeley Law professor John Yoo is able to come to the defense of President Obama’s secret legal justification for the assassination of American citizens, it’s time for progressives to pack it up and find a new candidate. Mike Bloomberg? Cory Booker? There are a bunch of other political figures out there who will gladly champion some liberal ideals until it becomes politically expedient for them to sell out the left in exchange for the warm embrace of the military-industrial complex.
Progressives will need to find somebody else because this Obama guy is done as a progressive leader. Many of you have been following the story of Anwar al-Awlaki. He’s the American-born radical cleric who was targeted and killed by a U.S. drone strike in Yemen. Many have questioned Obama’s authority to assassinate an American without due process of the law.
Today’s news is that President Obama did seek and receive legal justification for this strike from the Department of Justice. But you won’t get to see it. That’s because the DOJ issued Obama a secret memo that purportedly explains why Obama is allowed to kill Americans now….
Continue reading “‘Secret’ Memo of Law Makes Obama’s DOJ Look Like John McCain Won The 2008 Election”
* Oh look, another random group is kind of indirectly in support of the Occupy Wall Street protests in a totally unfocused way. You know, I’m thinking of joining the protests, unless and until the BANKERS, stop hoarding the jetpack and flying cars I was promised by every sci-fi movie and television show by 2010. [Gothamist]
* Antonin Scalia has been on the court for 25 years. And still the left hasn’t learned that the way to beat him is to nominate somebody as ideologically and intellectually committed as he is. [DC Dicta]
* Does it really matter if states disenfranchise millions of voters this election cycle when if the choice is between a moderate black Republican and a moderate Mormon Republican? [WSJ Law Blog]
* You know what drunken college campuses need more of? Guns, naturally. [Gawker]
* Alberto Gonzales got a new gig. [News Channel 5]
* No offense to the Slut Walkers, but when I see a half naked woman strutting down the street or into a bar, I don’t think she’s saying “no means no.” I think she’s saying “yes, please, isn’t it obvious” also means “no!” [NY Mag]
* You’ve all heard about my movie idea, right? The main antagonist is the Governor of a large, southwestern state. He rises to national prominence based in part on his tough record as a crime fighter. Under his leadership his state has put more criminals, predominately African-American criminals, to death than anybody else. But there’s a catch. Because the lethal injections in his state don’t actually kill anybody, the serum just puts the convicts to sleep. When they awake the convicts are prey — the most dangerous prey — at Ni**erland Ranch. Directed by John Singleton, starring John Goodman and Will Smith. [Time]
I am just a horny guy.
– a comment allegedly made to the police by University of Miami law professor D. Marvin Jones, upon being arrested for a prostitution-related offense last month.
(This is not the first time Professor Jones has been accused of such a crime. Back in 2007, we named him a Lawyer of the Day after he was charged with soliciting a prostitute. The charge was later expunged.)
