Here at Above the Law, we sometimes write about career alternatives for attorneys. But what about attorneys who are living double lives in seemingly conflicting professions — attorneys like Alisha Smith, district attorney-cum-dominatrix extraordinaire?
Today, we bring you a story about an attorney coming straight outta
Enter Lawyer Mike, a man who claims to be the “only rapping lawyer on the planet.” Lawyer Mike rolls hard. Can’t you tell from the picture?
We’re going to talk about a lawyer who raps. And poorly, at that.
Lawyer Mike, né Michael Shipwash, is a graduate of the University of Memphis School of Law. He’s a solo practitioner in Tennessee, and his areas of practice include, but are not limited to, personal injury, consumer protection, and police brutality. (Can I get a f*ck tha po-lice up in here?)
Although Lawyer Mike is clearly a straight-up gangsta, it seems like he needs to brush up on his thug lyfe vernacular. We tried to find more information about him and his musical stylings on his Facebook page, but found only this: “YouTube me.”
Mike, we believe the phrase you were looking for was “Google me, bitch.” Do you really need to be corrected on rap linguistics by a JAP from Jersey?
Let’s have a listen to some of his sick beats, shall we?
Awwww yeah boyeeee, Lawyer Mike is looking fresh to death with that ponytail. Is it any wonder that this guy’s “a destroyer, in the courtroom, in the foyer”? With lyrics reminiscent of a Dr. Seuss book, it’s hard to believe that he doesn’t have a record deal. We hear that the next single he drops will be a remix of Green Eggs and Ham.
But hey, at least he tries to provide his listeners with a positive message. He reminds us that “just because [he] rap[s] along with the law, [it] don’t mean [he] ain’t good at both. Lawyer Mike does it all.” Yeah… good lookin’ out Mike, you’re really doing your clients a solid.
And for those hood enough to dare to get all up in Mike’s grill in Tennessee, we leave you with these parting words: “You mess with Lawyer Mike, you better have Cochran on speed dial.”
Fo’ shizzle, my friends, fo’ shizzle.