Hold up. How could I be a baby daddy? I haven't hit puberty.
* Sorry, Obama, but Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is alive, well, and doesn’t plan on retiring any time soon. No more Supreme Court appointments for you, buddy boy. [The Oval / USA Today]
* Judge William Adams will not face charges over the beating of his daughter, Hillary Adams, due to the statute of limitations. At least he’ll still have public scrutiny and embarrassment. [Houston Chronicle]
* The Third Circuit has tossed out a $550K fine against CBS for the second time, because really, who wouldn’t want to see a fleeting nipple image belonging to Janet Jackson. [Legal Intelligencer]
* A former Nixon Peabody attorney got probation instead prison for false statements charges, and might even get her law license back. Did she get points for being pretty? [Blog of Legal Times]
* And speaking of being pretty, this lawsuit claims that favoring employees’ diversity over hotness at Panera Bread will allegedly earn you a spot on the unemployment line. [Washington Post]
* Occupy Wall Street protesters better hope that their lawyers aren’t planning to scrawl their pleadings on the bottoms of pizza boxes, because they’re going to trial. [Bloomberg]
* Did Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama deflower the teen pop star? You better beliebe it! She claims in court documents that their reported encounter was his first time. [New York Post]
The thought of a Texan passing the bar exam and then shooting two pistols up in the air like a Simpsons character makes me happy.
The reality of a Texan shooting bullets up in the air that come down and injure somebody, and then not going to jail for such reckless behavior, is why we have Texan lawyers.
Congratulations, Lone Star State: your bar results are out.
If you didn’t pass, don’t worry, keep shootin’ and eventually you’ll hit something…
Continue reading “Texas Bar Exam Results Are In: Welcome, New Defenders Of The Second Amendment”
Herman Cain: victim of a high-tech lynching?
* Here is Bess Levin’s take on the Groomzilla lawsuit brought by Todd J. Remis, son of a Goodwin Procter partner. [Dealbreaker]
* What advice would crisis management guru Lanny Davis give to Herman Cain about Cain’s sexual harassment scandal? Here’s an imagined conversation. [The Hill]
* And here is a real conversation — between Herman Cain and Ginni Thomas, also about the sexual harassment allegations. [Daily Caller]
* Current law students, at Brooklyn Law and Cardozo, call upon the ABA to get its act together. [BLS Advocate; Cardozo Jurist]
Judge J. Paul Oetken (S.D.N.Y.)
* The legal career of NBA star Ben Wallace is off to a great start. [Yahoo! Sports]
* Antonin Pribetic asks: “Are GCs Shifting The Balance of BigLaw Power?” [The Trial Warrior]
* Congratulations to Judge Paul Oetken on joining the distinguished S.D.N.Y. bench! (I was lucky enough to attend his ceremonial induction last week, which was fabulous.) [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* And congratulations to the Dave Nee Foundation, a non-profit committed to fighting depression and preventing suicide, on its record number of law firm supporters for this year’s masquerade ball (taking place tomorrow night). [Dave Nee Foundation (press release)]
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Like many of my other uber-productive legal brethren, I spend an obscene amount of time on Facebook. In between looking at pictures of friends in slutty Halloween costumes and friend’s babies in slightly less risqué garb, I decided to look for small firms on Facebook. Much to my delight, I found a great Facebook page belonging to the Lee Law Firm. With 5,717 other fans (or are we called something else now on the new Facebook?), I was not the only person to appreciate the firm’s highly effective use of Facebook.
So why do the 5,718 of us dig the Lee Law Firm’s Facebook page? Let me count the ways….
Continue reading “Size Matters: Should I Friend a Small Firm?”
Welcome to the West Coast edition of the Career Center’s Top Partners to Work For. For the past few weeks, we have revealed the best partners to work for in New York and Washington, D.C., as nominated by you, our readers.
Now we make our way across the country to present you with the first set of California partners who hail from the prestigious firms of Sidley Austin, Sedgwick, DLA Piper, Orrick, Arent Fox, and Sullivan & Cromwell.
Let’s find out why these six partners are truly stellar….
Continue reading “Career Center Survey Results: Top Partners to Work For – California (Part 1)”
The crowd was not as extreme as the massive banner suggests.
There was more excitement in Oakland yesterday, as several thousand people enacted a citywide “general strike” and marched across town and “took over” the Port of Oakland. No one is exactly sure what those quoted phrases were supposed to mean, specifically, even though crowd estimates ranged from 3,000 to 40,000.
But one thing was for sure: the Occupy Oakland crowd wanted to make a ruckus. They wanted to disrupt the city’s business as usual. And they did. Lots of businesses closed for the day, including one of my favorite coffee shops. Embattled Oakland Mayor Jean Quan recommended city employees take the day off (excluding police, who did not appreciate the snub).
At least one Oakland law firm tried to keep its motor running, although building management locked the building down like a private tiger collection.
Let’s take a look at the official memo, courtesy of an anonymous tipster….
Continue reading “Oakland Goes on Strike, Except for the Lawyers”
I recently received an email from an old friend asking for advice on behalf of a relative who is thinking about applying to law school. I was about to respond with a warning about the dangers of taking on massive student loans to get a degree that just might put you on the fast track to unemployment, but then I reread the email and noticed that the young woman in question is thinking about applying to law schools in Canada (she’s Canadian).
O Canada! Their legal education system is different — and, by some accounts, better than ours. At least if you define “better” in terms of “better at getting law school graduates into legal jobs.”
But could things up north be changing — for the worse, eh?
Continue reading “Is the Legal Job Crisis Spreading to Canada?”
I again want to sincerely apologize for the inappropriate costumes worn by some of our employees at our Halloween Party in 2010. It was in extremely poor taste and I take full responsibility. I know people were extremely offended and people have every right to be upset with me and my firm.
– Steven J. Baum, principal of Buffalo’s premier “foreclosure mill,” issuing an apology via email for his firm’s distasteful 2010 Halloween party.
Since we first started covering ridiculous wedding-related lawsuits, we’ve found that the vast majority of the plaintiffs have been women — bridezillas, if you will. But we must warn you, readers, that there is another kind of ‘zilla lurking out there.
This elusive creature is known to hide beneath layers of chiffon and tulle, and will emerge only if angered terribly by wedding vendors. By that time, it is too late to escape, and the unknowing victim will face the wrath of the mythical beast known as the groomzilla.
Today, we have terrifying news of a groomzilla sighting in Manhattan. Why so frightening, you ask? Because this groomzilla is armed with the ultimate weapon: his father is a Biglaw partner.
Which firm is championing this groomzilla’s absurd requests?
Continue reading “Got an Absurd Wedding Lawsuit? Don’t Worry, Daddy’s a Biglaw Partner”
Is $160,000 a 'garbage' salary?
There’s an interesting post up on Constitutional Daily by The Philadelphia Lawyer. It’s a repack from a 2007 article arguing that salaries for first-year associates should go up to $190,000 a year.
And he’s right.
I know, I know — most Americans are still feeling the effects of a terrible economy. Occupy Wall Street is about to take pitchforks to those who are well-off in this country. Yada, yada, we’ll get back to the very sad story of America momentarily.
But you know who has done well over the last five years or so? Law firms. Especially Biglaw firms. Especially partners at Biglaw firms. Just look at the Am Law reports on profits per partner and revenue per lawyer. Firms are making money, more than they were in 2007.
Yet the associate salary scale hasn’t seen a raise for almost five years. And bonuses are down compared to 2007. Is it time for firms to start sharing the wealth?
Continue reading “New York to $190K? Actually, It’s About Time.”
I posted last week about the idea of providing training intended to give lawyers wings — to teach lawyers the skills, and give them the experiences, they need to leave their firm or corporation and move forward on a career path elsewhere. If you thought that was a good idea — if you thought that your firm or corporation might benefit by being known as the place that trained people to become great lawyers — how would your firm pursue that goal?
I actually saw this happen once: I saw a lawyer design a training program to permit him to perform adequately in another job. But the situation was a bit unusual. A heavy-hitting litigation partner at my former firm accepted a job as the general counsel of a large corporation. That guy realized that a litigator’s training has gaps; litigators know the rules of procedure and the substantive law governing cases that they’ve handled, but litigators may be ill-equipped to become general counsel. A litigator is likely to know very little about preparing securities filings, negotiating M&A transactions, advising boards of directors about non-litigation matters, and the like.
My former partner created for himself what I’ll call “General Counsel University.” He asked a bunch of our partners to set aside a half day each to give him a primer about their areas of expertise. He spent time chatting with an employment lawyer about the basics of executive compensation. He spent a half day with a public company securities lawyer, trying to learn the nuts and bolts of securities filings. He talked to M&A lawyers, spent a few minutes with the corporate tax folks, and so on. (Why was he able to do this, you ask? First, he was a heavy-hitter; people were willing to make time for him. Second, he was about to become the general counsel of what could be a very significant client; it made sense to be nice to the guy.)
Could a law firm (or the law department of a corporation) replicate this process for its lawyers generally?
Continue reading “Inside Straight: What Would General Counsel University Look Like?”
* Only in Texas can a judge get paid leave after a video of him beating his daughter’s ass goes viral. Makes you wonder about the kind of crazy sh*t you’d need to do to get stuck with unpaid leave. [KRIS TV]
* A federal judge has ordered Paul Ceglia to return from Ireland to produce more of his hidden destroyed missing evidence. Oh, Facebook, always trying to steal his lucky charms. [paidContent]
* Memo to the NBA: you know you’re playing on the wrong court, right? On the bright side, at least we don’t have to worry about this happening with the WNBA. Or anyone caring about it if it did. [Bloomberg]
* Bar passage rates for first-time takers in New York were up by half a percentage point. Biggest contributing factor: I didn’t take the New York exam. Yeah, you’re welcome. [New York Law Journal]
* Joe Francis is suing over a debt dispute and vows to take the it to the Ninth Circuit if he loses. He needs to realize that no one cares about what he does unless it involves boobs. [Washington Post]
* Don’t be fat and then smush a lawyer at Shea Stadium. You’ll break her back, she’ll sue, and you might be known as the guy who got fat people banned from the upper deck. [New York Post]
It’s been a week of violence here at Above the Law. Between the murder-suicide guy and the judge who beat his disabled daughter, there’s been too much disturbing sadness.
Here at Above the Law, we prefer violence that is maybe, just a little, funny. For those who appreciate the lighter side of crime, we’ve got Joshua Monson. Here’s a guy who has stabbed his way out of his right to an attorney.
How do you lose this fundamental right to representation? Well, by stabbing all of your representation….
Continue reading “It’s Like Having Hannibal Lecter as a Client”
Judge William Adams
* Remember Judge William Adams, the Texas state court judge who was reportedly videotaped in the act of beating his daughter, Hillary Adams? He has now commented on the situation (and so has his ex-wife, Hallie Adams). [KZTV.com]
* And here is Kashmir Hill’s take on the whole sad situation. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]
* Members of the law review at GW Law School have issued a comment on the recent email controversy — which is impressive! (Aside: lighten up, guys; it’s all in good fun.) [Nota Bene]
* FYI, if you have problems with anonymous comments here at Above the Law, you should know that we’re having an internal discussion about possibly changing our system. [What About Clients?]
* Beating a dead horse isn’t illegal. Doing what this woman did to a dead horse isn’t illegal. Sucks to be a dead horse. [Daily Mail]
* Our friend Joseph Rakofsky makes it into the Urban Dictionary. [The Trial Warrior; Legal Skills Prof Blog]
* Says Elie: “Some say WVU’s lawsuit against the Big East reflects ‘arrogance.’ The real arrogance is how Notre Dame refuses to come in and save the conference.” [Legal Blitz]
* Swordplay: it’s all fun and games until someone’s intestines spill out of his abdomen. [CBS 3 - Springfield]
I didn’t change my story. I simply got the wording right.
– Republican Herman Cain, Election 2012 hopeful, contesting the claim that he has flip-flopped on his accounts of striking an “agreement” versus negotiating a “settlement” with regard to his late-nineties National Restaurant Association sexual harassment scandal.
Now what?
You’re sitting in your new office, with a blank stare out the window, and like Redford in “The Candidate” you say: “Now what?”
Your next move largely depends on the size of your in-house department. Departments with six or fewer attorneys make up approximately 60% of in-house legal offices. Most in-house lawyers therefore have vastly more legal issues on their plate than I, where we have almost 200 attorneys. I am specialized in my company, and am required to focus on closing deals. We have a patent department, litigation department, labor and employment department, and on and on.
Attorneys in my company are also expected to become subject matter experts in a relevant topic, and mine happens to be software licensing. This level of specialization is nowhere to be found for most in-house counsel. Most are expected to be at least somewhat knowledgeable on a vast array of topics: compliance, securities, mergers and acquisitions, et cetera. I am always humbled when I speak to groups of in-house attorneys, because I know that most of them are expected to handle a huge number of topics in order to represent their clients well.
So, you may be asking, now what?
Continue reading “House Rules: Now What? Learning the In-House Ropes”
Elie's therapy dog.
Has law school gotten so bad that law students really need therapy dogs as standard issue on campus? I mean, therapy dogs are for disabled people or old people who need some company before they die.
Monty, the Yale Law School therapy dog, was a cute story we wrote about a while ago. But that was just for fun.
Is the mental beating that people take in law school really so bad that they need a furry friend to soothe them?
Perhaps so, because now schools that aren’t even ranked as highly as Yale want their own therapy dogs….
Continue reading “All Dogs Go to Law School?”
It’s official: Lindsay Lohan is heading back to the slammer. She admitted to her probation violations yesterday, and waived her right to a formal hearing.
Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced LiLo to 30 days in the county lockup, but as we all know, for washed-out movie stars in California, that means she’ll be spending about a week in jail. She has to surrender to the authorities by November 9. You know what that means? A week-long coke bender.
After serving her time, if Lindsay doesn’t perform her assigned community service tasks and go to her mandatory counseling sessions, she’ll go back to jail for an additional 270 days. (Which isn’t a bad thing — she’ll have time to develop a real relationship with her new big-house girlfriend.)
As Judge Sautner said: “This is what we really call putting the keys to the jail in the defendant’s hands.” When will Lindsay realize that her career is over and she should just throw away the key?
Lindsay Lohan to do jail time for probation violation [New York Post]
Lindsay Lohan To Return to Jail [ABC News]
Lindsay Lohan gets jail time for probation violations [CNN]
It seems like lawyers got a little wild last month, especially the ladies. In fact, our candidate pool for October’s Lawyer of the Month contest was mostly dominated by women. Score one for women’s equality in the legal profession, even if we’re out there embarrassing ourselves.
Only one of our candidates is a man, but given his choice in women, he’d probably love to be surrounded by all of these hot messes.
Last month, we offered you the sex, violence, and stupidity edition of the competition. We suppose you can call this one Lawyer of the Month: Drunk, Slutty, and Naked. Let’s check out our nominees for the month of October….
Continue reading “Lawyer of the Month: October Reader Poll”
Email Scandals, Football, George Washington University Law School, Law Reviews, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Sports, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Texas, Violence
Non-Sequiturs: 11.02.11
By David LatJudge William Adams
* Remember Judge William Adams, the Texas state court judge who was reportedly videotaped in the act of beating his daughter, Hillary Adams? He has now commented on the situation (and so has his ex-wife, Hallie Adams). [KZTV.com]
* And here is Kashmir Hill’s take on the whole sad situation. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]
* Members of the law review at GW Law School have issued a comment on the recent email controversy — which is impressive! (Aside: lighten up, guys; it’s all in good fun.) [Nota Bene]
* Beating a dead horse isn’t illegal. Doing what this woman did to a dead horse isn’t illegal. Sucks to be a dead horse. [Daily Mail]
* Our friend Joseph Rakofsky makes it into the Urban Dictionary. [The Trial Warrior; Legal Skills Prof Blog]
* Says Elie: “Some say WVU’s lawsuit against the Big East reflects ‘arrogance.’ The real arrogance is how Notre Dame refuses to come in and save the conference.” [Legal Blitz]
* Swordplay: it’s all fun and games until someone’s intestines spill out of his abdomen. [CBS 3 - Springfield]
Tags: Beware the comments section, College Football, Commenting, Email Scandals, Football, George Washington University Law School, GW Law School, Hallie Adams, Hillary Adams, Horses, Joseph Rakofsky, Kashmir Hill, Law Journals, Law Reviews, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Sports, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Swords, Texas, Urban Dictionary, Violence, William Adams