Archive for December 2011

In the before times, in the long, long ago, everything about law school was hard. Getting in was hard. Completing the training was hard. Passing the bar was hard. Everything was hard and everything was stressful.

And legal educators and successful lawyers were proud that it was hard. The hardness is what made it mean something. I remember one of the reasons some people in my family told me to go to law school instead of business school was that law school was harder, and thus it intrinsically had more value.

But now, we don’t want law school to be hard. We don’t want thousands of students to break their dreams against high barriers to admission. We don’t want kids to be so stressed out that they spend their first year crying themselves to sleep at night like a new, fleshy prisoner in a penitentiary.

We want law schools to be like a goddamn camp — a goddamn hippie law learning camp where the professors are “down to earth,” and the administrators are there for “encouragement,” and there’s freaking ice cream in the student lounge. Look to your left, now look to your right: all three of you will be getting smiley faces on your transcripts!

This trend to make law schools the “aww shucks” destination for regular folks has made all the way down to Texas, the state that’s supposed to be the balls of this country….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Admissions Office ‘Keeps It Real’: Except for the Part About the Value of Going to Law School”

Welcome to the latest edition of Above the Law’s Grammer Pole of the Weak, a column where we turn questions of legal writing and English grammar and usage over to our readers for discussion and debate.

Last week, we discovered that roughly six percent of our readers use — and will continue using — the word “irregardless,” despite the fact that it isn’t a proper word. Please God, make it stop.

Speaking of God, that brings us to this week’s topic: because people are so easily offended, should lawyers strike the term “act of God” and use the phrase “act of nature” instead?

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  • 02 Dec 2011 at 12:27 PM
  • Jobs

Chief of Staff

The American Academy of Arts & Sciences is hiring a Chief of Staff. Reporting to the President, the Chief of Staff/Attorney provides support for Academy governance and other administrative and management responsibilities. S/he will serve as a key advisor and provide legal advice to the President. The candidate will have demonstrated expertise in higher education and nonprofit work, and be familiar with contract, employment, and intellectual property law, and to ensure compliance with governance and tax related matters.

Responsibilities
Provides support to the President to advance:
• Work of the governance committee meetings, including the agendas, materials, resolutions, minutes, talking points, and correspondence.
• Facilitation of the strategic planning process and timely flow of information to and from the executive office.
• Legal work on a variety of matters, including Academy policies, nonprofit governance, conflict of interest, employment issues, intellectual property, contracts, renewals, and agreements.
• Coordination of Executive Office activities with the Academy administration and volunteers, including oversight of staff.
• Coordination of the work and relationships with outside counsel.

Qualifications
• J.D. degree required; admission to the Massachusetts Bar or eligible to obtain such admission promptly.
• Minimum of 5-7 years (or equivalent relevant training) in higher education, foundations, cultural organizations, or a related setting, with specialization in non-profit governance.
• Excellent writing, communication, analytical and problem-solving skills.
• Ability to work with senior management, outside counsel, board members, and executives.
• Highly organized, close attention to detail and ability to analyze and proofread documents.
• Demonstrated experience managing multiple activities and tasks with discretion and composure.
• Work habits characterized by confidentiality, good judgment, diplomacy, and tact.

Application Process
Candidates may apply by submitting a cover letter and resume to staffing@amacad.org. For further information about the Academy, please visit our web site at http://www.amacad.org.

About the Academy
The American Academy of Arts and Sciences is one of the world’s oldest and most prestigious scholarly organizations, founded during the American Revolution by John Adams, James Bowdoin, John Hancock and other leaders who contributed prominently to the establishment of the new nation.  In its third century, the Academy continues to mobilize the intellectual resources needed to anticipate, examine, and confront the critical challenges facing our society.  Recent projects have focused on such challenges to America as the changing nature and needs of higher education, the federal funding of science, the well-being of the humanities in the United States and their central role in the vitality of our cultural life, and the global nuclear future. The Academy’s 4,000 members reflect the full range of disciplines and professions and\ include more than 170 Nobel Prize laureates and more than 50 Pulitzer Prize winners.

Tom Wallerstein

For years, it has been common knowledge that the vast majority of associates at most Biglaw firms will leave before becoming a partner. At many firms, it is not uncommon for fewer than one in ten entering associates to ultimately become a partner. As partnership tracks lengthen, the attrition rate goes even higher. The decision to leave a firm to form a private practice, for example, is becoming increasingly common.

We assume (hope?) that the high attrition is because Biglaw offers the most exit opportunities; i.e., the prospects of developing a career as in-house counsel, or joining a business unit of a company, or going into government, or joining to a small or midsize or boutique law firm, or maybe even leaving the law altogether to become a consultant, a blogger, a Lego artist, what have you. Just because you start your legal career with a law firm doesn’t mean your goal is to become a partner.

Often, associates who know that they will not become a partner seem content to just put in their time, try to keep their head down, and collect a paycheck while waiting for their firm to announce their intended bonuses. They rationalize that they know they will leave anyway, so why bend over backwards for the firm?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “From Biglaw to Boutique: Going Through the Motions”

Does George Will look like the protector of Black America to you?

People who think giving charity to those less fortunate also gives them the right to direct the personal choices of those receiving the charity are some of the worst people on the planet. The biggest offenders are religious organizations: “Ooh, here’s some food. Yes. You like food, don’t you? I bet you’re hungry — I can tell ’cause I can see your ribs. Well, it’s all you can eat in here… first, just say you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. SAY IT. Wonderful. Bon appétit!”

Organizations do it all the time, but there are plenty of individuals who also think giving a guy a buck gives them the right to tell the recipient how to spend the money. This behavior is the worst because it takes what should be a generous gesture (giving somebody money) and turns it into a cheap way to make a BS point about your moral superiority (“If this man did just one thing more like me, he wouldn’t have to beg for my scraps.”).

If you want to help, help. But don’t use “helping” as an excuse to further some ridiculous personal agenda. You’ll just look like an idiot. You’ll just look like George Will prancing around the pages of the Washington Post trying to act like he is against affirmative action because he suddenly wants the Supreme Court to step up to the plate and “help” black people….

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Nice acid wash jeans.

You always hear urban legends (and some of them turn out to be real cases) about burglars who sue — and win against — homeowners for injuries sustained during the robbery. These are the kinds of cases that make you wonder how the justice system even functions, because you can literally sue for just about anything these days.

Oh, you fell through a skylight while you were attempting to burglarize a home and cut your arm? File a lawsuit! You tried to steal a television set from your neighbor and got bitten by his dog in the process? Time to litigate! So, what happens when you’re on the run and you decide to break into a couple’s home and hold them hostage?

Our latest pro se criminal litigant decided to up the ante. He’s suing his former kidnapping victims for breach of contract….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Kidnapper Sues Hostages for Breach of Contract”

'She was just asking me for directions, officer.'

* Three days after arguing that an alleged Sandusky victim’s lawsuit lacked any factual basis, Second Mile decided to settle. Better strike while the iron is hot (and the wallet is open), lawyers. [Bloomberg]

* So much for that “real shot,” huh? After a failed bid for bail, Galleon Group’s Raj Rajaratnam will begin serving the longest insider trading sentence ever come Monday. [DealBook / New York Times]

* A memo to all Biglaw bachelors: if your game is anything like that of Kenneth Kratz’s, then it’s not just ethics boards who will think you have an “offensive personality.” [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

* In Tampa, purchasers of prostitutes’ services will now have their cars impounded. Good thing Miami isn’t adopting this law, eh, Professor Jones? (Allegedly, of course.) [St. Petersburg Times]

* Law school is really tough, so the GMU Law administration has some advice for you: the best way to avoid becoming an alcoholic basket case is to play with cuddly puppies. [Washington Post]

It’s an intriguing question. There are 11 ABA-accredited law schools in New York City and Long Island (I’m including Pace, even though the law school is in White Plains). Personally I love them all. Seriously, any one of them can produce a story about great idiocy that I can make fun of on the internet. That’s all I really care about.

But law students in New York argue over the strengths and weaknesses of their law schools all the time. Or at the very least they often mutter about the idiots across town under their breath.

While some students like to argue that they go to the “best” law school in New York, that’s a less interesting question. And there are so many Yale students running around town (New Haven is only 90 minutes away), so saying you go to the best law school in New York feels a little bit like saying you’re the tallest midget.

It’s a bit douchy to argue over who’s best, but it’s pretty fun to argue over which law school is the worst. Nobody thinks that they go to the absolute worst law school in the city. But that means one student body is dead wrong.

Let’s find out who!

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Non-Sequiturs: 12.01.11

Buy Mark's book or Ulfric will shout you down.

* Mark Hermann has a new book about MDL strategy and tactics. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but if it helps me take down Ulfric the Racist and end this bloody Stormcloack rebellion, I’ll definitely be picking up a copy. [Drug and Device Law]

* Did you see my hair in the holiday party picture post? Yeah, I think commenters are getting angrier. [Slate]

* IU Indy has a new name. but I’m hoping they kept the posters of black people guarding the atrium. [Indianapolis Star]

* Instapundit Glenn Reynolds interviews Virginia Postrel about the higher education bubble. [Instapundit / PJTV]

* Here’s another opportunity to voice you opinion on the Cravath’s bonuses. When reached for comment Uncle Cravath said: “What? What? I can’t hear you. I’ve got too much money stuffed in my ears.” [JD Match]

* Man, people are really pissed about Lat’s suggestion that the Cravath bonus was “fair.” Personally, I still think it’s too early to tell if Cravath really will be this cheap. Let’s wait and see if spring bonuses are coming before we all head over to Occupy Cravath. [Belly of the Beast]

* We’ve been nominated in the ABA Journal’s Blawg100. We’re in the news category. Check out all the entrants, and if you happen to throw us a vote, that would be lovely. [ABA Journal]

According to the over 900 respondents to the Career Center survey, only 16% reported working on Thanksgiving Day. That means a whopping 84% of you took the day off for feasting with family and friends. However, of these respondents, 24% said they did have to work the day after Thanksgiving, but still, that’s an impressive 60% who took full advantage of the four-day weekend.

If you’ve been following our holiday surveys this year, Thanksgiving Day is the clear winner so far. Just compare the 16% of survey respondents who worked on Thanksgiving Day with the 48% of survey respondents who worked on Labor Day, the 35% of survey respondents who worked on the Fourth of July, the 73% of respondents who worked on Presidents’ Day, and the 66% of respondents who worked on MLK Day.

The top reasons for missing out on the Thanksgiving festivities were….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Career Center Survey Results: Who Worked on Thanksgiving Day?”

There are a lot of unhappy lawyers. We all know that. Part of their discontent is due to the fact that many young people go to law school who may not want to be lawyers, or do not take the time during law school to figure out what type of practice best fits their personality and goals. It was for this reason that I was so excited to learn about Steven Harper’s class for pre-law students. Getting to potential law students before they take on an obscene amount of debt is one way to prevent accidental lawyers.

But what about those individuals who actually want to be lawyers, but due to certain biases are not able to pursue their dreams? The answer is the same: get to them in college….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Size Matters: Diversity in Small Firms”

Perhaps you’ve already heard that Cravath announced its 2011 bonus scale on Monday (swiftly followed by Skadden and Milbank) and apparently it’s 2009 all over again. Around here, while Lat shrugged and Elie heaped scorn (“dick move”), the ATL commentariat … well, they were cut to the heart and gnashed their teeth (“ALLCAPS OUTRAGE MEME”).

We can’t help but wonder if this bonus season’s dyspepsia is typical of lawyers and law students generally. What with the growing ranks of JDs who are despairing of ever paying off their debt, shouldn’t there be some significant cohort thinking, “phew…not only do I have a job, but now my firm will be forced to match”?

Well it turns out that’s certainly not the case…

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Your ATL editors: Elie Mystal, Staci Zaretsky, and David Lat.

Thanks to everyone who came out last night to attend the Above the Law holiday party. (We’d call it a Christmas party, but Christmas got stolen by the Ninth Circuit.)

The festivities were extremely well-attended. Temperatures in the packed bar at times approached the hotness of the Cravath bonus scale — for 2007. Thanks to our fabulous sponsor, the Practical Law Company (PLC), for such a great evening.

Here on the internets, some people like to say “WWOP.” So let’s get some pics up in this joint….

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As I waited for my plane to take off Sunday morning, coming back from Thanksgiving vacation, I was listening to music on my iPod. We had been waiting on the runway for 25 minutes and I was bored, tired, and roasting hot. I needed to distract myself. But then, before I knew it, it was apparently time to take off. Without warning, the stewardess came from the back of the plane, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “SIR, you have to turn it off now. SIR. SIR.”

Like I do every time I fly, I took off my headphones until the flight attendant walked away. Then I put them back on. I also never turned off my cell phone or put it in airplane mode.

You probably know this is not allowed. Airplane passengers are supposed to turn off all electronic devices for takeoff and landing.

But WHY? Is aviation safety so delicate that a few Kindles or iPads endanger hundreds of lives? I don’t think so. A New York Times article from Monday takes a look at this mysterious, anachronistic facet of America’s law of the skies….

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Honestly, 'convert or be eaten' wouldn't have been a hard choice for me.

There are some debtors who go to such lengths to escape their obligations that you have to wonder what kind of person lent them money in the first place.

Today we’ve got an expedited motion to vacate. It’s filed by an attorney, representing the debtor, who seems mad — both mad as in “angry,” and “mad” as in “bats**t crazy pants.” She’s mad at the lender, and she’s mad at the judge.

But mostly, she’s mad at Catholics. Dirty, dirty Catholics….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Deadbeat Debtor Warns of Great Catholic Conspiracy”

Suppose your firm has one incompetent partner, and our joint has the misfortune to be working with that person.

This guy consistently misses important issues. He sends us briefs that read (as did one draft I recently received): “In response to ALR’s motion to dismiss the OC, [plaintiff] added an allegation in the FAC that . . . .” We comment, over and over again (as we did recently), that briefs on our behalf must be written in English, not gibberish. Even if you’ve set up short forms, no reader sees “OC” and “FAC” and thinks “Original Complaint” and “First Amended Complaint.” Use words, not alphabet soup.

To no avail.

We suggest that the partner include on the litigation team a gifted writer (because we’re too nice to suggest that the partner include on the litigation team “a lawyer who’s worth a damn”). But nothing ever changes; the partner never hears us. Confronted with an avalanche of criticism and suggestions, no law firm partner has ever said to us, “Why, thank you. Now that you mention it, I realize that I am in fact inept. To better serve your legal needs, I’ll replace myself with a real lawyer.”

No, no, no. Instead, the partner continues to send us bad briefs, making the same mistakes over and over, but seemingly thinking that we may not care the next time around. It’s Einstein’s definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Up to that point, the fault is the partner’s. But then I personally make two mistakes….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Inside Straight: The Mutual Menace Of One Bad Partner”

Last night, Milbank Tweed matched the Cravath bonus scale for 2011. The news, first reported by Am Law Daily, came on the heels of yesterday’s Skadden match.

But wait — did Milbank perhaps beat the Cravath and Skadden bonus scales? Let’s look at the details of the Milbank bonus announcement….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Milbank Matches — or Beats? — Cravath and Skadden”

Morning Docket: 12.01.11

Ya ni panimayou?

* Time to separate the men from the boys (but don’t tell Sandusky). An accuser has hired Jeff Anderson of clergy sex abuse fame, and he wants damages. [Wall Street Journal]

* RajRaj is trying to stay out of jail. He thinks he’s got a shot at getting his Galleon convictions vacated, but he’s probably got a better shot at curing diabetes. [New York Law Journal]

* And speaking of Galleon, lawyers, take note: “you don’t get a pass.” Ex-Ropes & Gray attorney Brien Santarlas was sentenced to six months in jail yesterday. [Bloomberg]

* Emory Law has invented a new way to throw loan money in the garbage. At the bargain basement price of $45K, how could you resist? [National Law Journal]

* Twenty people have been charged with luring illegal, eastern European beauties to work in New York strip clubs. Prepare for some new job listings from the NYU Law career services office. [CNN]