Archive for December 2011

Morning Docket: 12.13.11

No glove, no love.

* The Supreme Court will hear Obama’s challenge to Arizona’s immigration law. Upside: we can probably expect a decision by June. Downside: Lady Kaga has to sit her ass out. [New York Times]

* Depressing fact of the day: unless you’re earning six times your law school’s annual tuition, you’ll probably never be able to afford a home. Thanks a lot, student loan debt. [National Law Journal]

* Wilson Sonsini has announced its 2011 partnership class. Of ten new partners, only three are women. At least they’re beating Cravath’s partnership diversity scale. [DealBook]

* Los Angeles is suing to block an initiative that would force porn stars to wear condoms. Why? It wastes taxpayer money, and would be disastrous to spank banks nationwide. [Courthouse News]

* Stephanie Van Groll may be the “tall, young, hot nymph” whose sexting lawsuit against Kenneth Kratz survived a motion to dismiss, but he is still the prize. [Appleton Post-Crescent]

Last week, we mentioned in Non-Sequiturs that the results for the November administration of the MPRE had been released. While most were elated with their scores, others had a serious case of the WTFs (i.e., “WTF, how did I fail this stupid multiple-choice test?!”). If you’re a member of the latter camp, you might be wondering what you can do to get a passing score for your state.

Worry not, law students, because we’ve got a solution for you. Enter the People of Channel 38 — three recent law school graduates who will school you on all things related to legal ethics in musical form. With their help, maybe you’ll pass the test next time. The fifth time is the charm, right?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “So You Failed the MPRE… Now What?”

Non-Sequiturs: 12.12.11

* Is taking down the government easier than taking law school finals? [McSweeney's]

* If you are a card-carrying member of the ACLU, do you keep your mouth shut when you go in-house? [Underdog]

* A lawyer claims he was fired for not meeting an “unrealistic” requirement to bill 3,000 hours. Dude, I’ve seen people bill 3,000 hours ethically. What’s unreal is how you see can each hour etched on their faces. [ABA Journal]

* This is way more Gloria Allred than I can usually take in one sitting. [New York Times]

* Help crowdsource the telephone scam. [Popehat]

* Learning to date the Harvard way. [Jezebel]

* Given the disappointing bonuses, it seems worth pointing out that New York City has a greater disparity between haves and have-nots than Brazil. “I know, right, WTF?” says the angry associate. [LBO-News]

Bonuses have just been announced at Paul Weiss. The firm is matching what we’ll call the Cleary Gottlieb scale, which seems to be the most generous bonus schedule among the main-line law firms (i.e., excluding outliers like Boies Schiller and Wachtell Lipton).

The Cleary scale provides for (1) prorated bonuses for class of 2011 members and (2) a top payment of $42,500 for the most-senior lawyers (class of 2003 on up). We’re calling it the “Cleary scale” because some firms that pay a stub bonus to the class of 2011 top out at $37,500 (e.g., Milbank), and some firms that go all the way up to $42,500 don’t pay stub bonuses (e.g., Sullivan & Cromwell and Simpson Thacher).

(These are some pretty fine — and minor — distinctions. As Elie just grumpily remarked to me, “Remember when setting the market involved making it rain instead of figuring out if any pee got on the toilet seat?”)

In any event, it’s nice that Paul Weiss is taking care of its people at both the top and bottom of the seniority scale. Let’s look at the memo….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Paul Weiss Matches”

Ever since the UC Irvine School of Law opened its doors in 2009, the fledgling institution has been garnering rave reviews. It has already been labelled one of the most selective schools in the country. Every single member of its inaugural class had a job last summer. And that same first class goes to school for free.

Over the weekend, the emerging West Coast powerhouse added a new impressive statistic to its quickly filling trophy case. This year, the school boasts one of the highest federal clerkship placement rates in the country.

Keep reading to see which elite law schools have been edged out by UC Irvine….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “UC Irvine Announces Better Clerkship Numbers Than Almost Everyone Else”

A story I often tell is about the first time I took a deposition. I got there early, and I thought that the most important thing was to control the witness. I didn’t realize the first time around that the way you control somebody is not by intimidating them. But I adjusted the chair that I was sitting on so that I’d be really tall, and could look down imposingly on the witness. But I raised it so high that as soon as I sat down, I toppled over and fell backward.

Amy Schulman, executive vice president and general counsel of Pfizer, in a New York Times interview about her leadership style.

(Additional excerpts and discussion, after the jump.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Quote of the Day: Litigatrix, Toppled”

Usually, firms with main offices outside of Manhattan let the New York bonus market settle down a little bit before jumping into the fray. D.C., Chicago, Boston, and even L.A. — they all tend to allow New York to sort itself out before raising the hopes and dreams of people who aren’t paying NYC prices.

Not this year.

Ropes & Gray is jumping right into the middle of the bonus battle. For first and second year associates, they’ll be following the early payouts from Cravath and S&C. But further up the scale, where CSM and S&C diverge, Ropes & Gray is… not taking a position.

Yeah, Ropes wants to do its part to lock in the low bonuses for junior people, but for more senior people it’ll do it on a case-by-case basis….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Ropes & Gray Gets Boston Off to an Early Start”

  • 12 Dec 2011 at 2:57 PM
  • Jobs

In-House Attorney


Privately-held, well-run and profitable New York City business seeks to hire a 1+ year attorney with either prior business experience or an MBA to assist the principal in a strategic legal/business position.

Compensation will be competitive.

Please submit your resume to info@cmwsearch.com.

Crushed dreams of employment.

On Friday, we brought you what could be classified as one of the worst law jobs of all time: a job as an unpaid potato chip tester/taster.

And much like the side effects of eating an Olestrafied potato chip, the law school in question has announced that the notorious job was full of crap….

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Being a small firm lawyer usually means that you’re not a cog in the wheel of some multi-national corporation while enjoying their stream of business sent to your firm because of someone on another floor. Small firm lawyers either have to blow their brains out on ads featuring their angry mugs (arms crossed in aggressive, “fight-for-you” anger), direct mail, or the art and science of talking to people and developing relationships, otherwise known as networking.

In this arena, there are two types of lawyers: Those that “don’t do networking,” and those that do it because it is required to establish a word of mouth practice. I know you think there’s a third — those that love networking, but those lawyers are to be avoided at all costs. Lawyers that love going out after work and eating bar food, drinking low-level vodka, and asking “so, where’s your office,” are rejects. Ignore them. They just want to give you their business card the minute they lay eyes on you and tell you to “call (me) whenever you have a (usually PI or real estate) matter.”

For those that want the word of mouth practice, and the reputation in the community as a go-to person (assuming you are a competent lawyer, and these days, that’s a big assumption), here are some things to consider….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Practice: Enough with the Worthless Networking”

As we mentioned in Morning Docket on Friday, prosecutors will be seeking the death penalty against Stephen McDaniel if he is convicted of the murder of Lauren Giddings, his former neighbor and classmate at Mercer Law School.

The Bibb County District Attorney calls the crime “outrageously or wantonly vile, horrible or inhuman in that it involved depravity of mind,” which is one standard the prosecution has to meet to seek the death penalty in Georgia.

The Macon Telegraph conducted a long interview with Lauren Giddings’s boyfriend, David Vandiver. The King & Spalding lawyer wonders if Giddings’s final email to him was entirely hers….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “King & Spalding Lawyer Received Key Email As Prosecutors Seek Death Penalty Against Stephen McDaniel”

The pulchritudinous law firm of Davis Polk & Wardwell just announced its year-end bonuses. Are they as hot as DPW attorneys?

Apparently not. One of the sources who sent it our way had this one-word summary: “Ugh.” Said a second: “Bummed but not surprised.”

The Davis Polk bonus scale matches the Sullivan & Cromwell scale. It starts at $7,500 for the class of 2010 and tops out at $42,500 for the class of 2003 and more senior.

Is there a stub bonus for the class of 2011? What about mention of spring bonuses?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Davis Polk Matches”

How do you build a practice for a law firm?

Everyone has a theory; I’ll provide a case study.

In 1997, Congress was about to pass a law that would have been great for America, but horrific for business at the law firm at which I then worked. The firm thus (intelligently) created several committees to try to create new practices that could keep lawyers busy if the promised bill became law. I was asked to chair the “drug and device product liability business development committee.”

At the time, my firm did essentially no pharmaceutical product liability work. I’d helped to defend a set of medical device cases, which was about as close as anyone had come to actual experience in the pharmaceutical products field, so I was the natural choice to lead this effort. When given that assignment, what do you do? How do you build a practice essentially from scratch?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Inside Straight: Building A Practice — A Case Study”

Downward dog... kind of.

* Protip for Mark Hansen, AT&T’s lawyer: when you want a judge to save your merger plans, it’s probably not a good idea to demand that she make a ruling by a certain date. [Businessweek]

* What’s going on in Cooley Law’s defamation suit against Rockstar05 (other than discussion of whether the school’s attorney understands the tort’s defenses)? An appeal. [Lansing State Journal]

* Getting a prep school education in New York isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Ask Philip Culhane, Simpson Thacher partner and name plaintiff in the Poly Prep sex abuse suit. [New York Times]

* America, f**k yeah! The Texas division of the Sons of Confederate Veterans is suing the DMV over free speech rights they might not have had if they seceded from the union. [Fox News]

* Yoga guru Bikram Choudhury tried to sue his disciples for infringement of his moves, but he ended up getting it downward doggy style from the Copyright Office instead. [Bloomberg]

* “If you want a good grade, you need to have sex with me.” At the height of finals season, many law students wish this were an option, but apparently it only happens in college. [New York Post]

Here at Above the Law, we write all the time about crappy law job postings. A good deal of these awful employment listings come from law school career services offices (which is not at all impressive!).

We recently received word about a law school career services job posting that was so horrendous, so ridiculous, that we could not help ourselves but to write about it. After all, writing about crappy law jobs is like opening a can of Pringles: once you pop, you can’t stop.

And this job — well, let’s just say that it takes the cake, or the potato chip, as the case may be….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Once You Pop, You Can’t Stop: New Law School Job Post Borders on Absurd”

Non-Sequiturs: 12.09.11

* Can somebody explain to me why America hates our freedom? [Lowering the Bar]

* Dharun Ravi rejected the plea deal! It’s on now: either we live in a world where suicide means killing yourself, or we don’t. [New York Magazine]

* Bad lawyer tries to bully his way out of a ticket. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* It’s the law, through Harry Potter, which is fun! I hope there’s a part about how Dobby, the slave elf, eventually sued the Malfoys for false imprisonment and took Draco’s entire goddamn trust fund. [Sui Generis]

* I am sworn to carry your burdens. [Constitutional Daily]

* The Volcker Rule is really confusing. We might need Davis Polk to dumb this bad boy down even more. [Dealbreaker]

* The “success” of Occupy Harvard is truly astounding. Hilarious and astounding. [Space Occupants]

* Protip for Bloggers: Check You Time Stamps. [LA Weekly]

  • 09 Dec 2011 at 4:56 PM
  • Jobs

Part-Time Litigation Position

Our two-person D.C. law firm seeks a part-time lawyer on a contract basis. You can get a sense of the firm’s practice from our website — www.marcusfirm.com. Our current active matters include, among others, breach of contract, trade secret, corporate and real estate actions, as well as counseling on partnership and business management issues. We have an eclectic, sophisticated, litigation-oriented practice with demanding, but great clients.

The candidate should have at least several years of business litigation experience, strong academic credentials, good writing, analytical and advocacy skills, and be interested in handling a wide range of challenging disputes.

If this interests you, please send your resume to stephen@marcusfirm.com.

Tom Wallerstein

Success in Biglaw often is measured by the size of an attorney’s “book of business.” Not surprisingly, having a book of business is also the best way to ensure the success of a private practice. The bigger the book, the greater your exit options. So whether your goal is to make partner or to open your own firm, everyone knows that the key is to develop a book of business.

That is easy to say, but virtually impossible to do in a big firm setting. Many big firms handle only matters in which the amount at stake is in the millions of dollars. This means that the prospect of an associate landing such a case is slim; a client would never entrust a multi-million dollar dispute to an un-tested associate. Associates are told to attend networking events, but what is the prospect of meeting someone who just so happens to have a ten million dollar dispute laying around, and who has not yet staffed the matter, and who is willing to entrust the matter to a junior associate he just met?

Once upon a time, mentoring relationships were strong, and firms were loyal to their associates. A loyal associate could hope that the partner for whom he or she worked would encourage clients to develop a relationship with the associate and allow the associate to claim ownership of future engagements from that client. If nothing else, a loyal associate could expect to inherit clients from a retiring partner.

Alas, the traditional method of building a book of business no longer works for most associates. Firms now sometimes go so far as to actively discourage associates from forming too-strong relationships with clients, lest the associate leave and take the client with them. And even if an associate is fortunate enough to get client contact, clients are likely to develop loyalties to the partner on the matter, even if the associate is doing most of the work. Unfortunately, just because you do good work doesn’t mean that over time you will magically develop that elusive book of business.

To make matters worse, it’s often impossible to predict future business, especially for litigators. If a client hires you for a patent dispute and pays you $1 million in fees in 2011 before the case settles, does that mean you have a $1 million book of business, even if you have no reason to expect any business from that client in 2012? How can you guarantee repeat business from any client, especially in litigation? Do you need a three or five year average? Those are long time frames for associates.

With all these challenges, how can an associate ever hope to make the rain they will need if they want to open their own firm?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “From Biglaw to Boutique: Looks Like Rain”

Just when you thought “revenge porn” couldn’t get worse, IsAnyoneUp came along. In addition to posting user-submitted nude photos — often sent in by someone’s angry ex — the site’s proprietor, Hunter Moore, includes a screenshot of the amateur porn star’s Facebook profile page, so that it’s clear exactly who the person is, where they live (and work), and how to contact him or her. It’s not the only porn website where those featured get “poked,” but the only one where visitors get to do the poking.

Those featured on the site have struggled to get their photos taken down — the most successful legal approach so far has been to claim copyright and issue a DMCA takedown notice. Now Facebook is bringing its legal power to bear. Facebook had its lawyers at Perkins Coie send the site a cease-and-desist notice, saying Moore was violating Facebook’s terms of service by harassing users and posting their content without their consent. Moore immediately posted a copy of the letter to his NSFW site, and was excited to send Perkins lawyer Joseph Cutler a response.

“I replied with a picture of my dick,” he told Gawker. Classy.

Continue reading at Forbes.com….

An in-house lawyer (let’s call her Athena) was recently offended by a statement made by a law firm attorney (let’s call him Hercules). Athena shared a conversation in which Hercules had told her that his firm would never stoop so low as to represent any companies in her industry (let’s say it’s the tobacco industry).

When Athena informed Hercules that, well, his firm actually did represent her company, he told her that she must be mistaken. She responded by bringing up a picture on her mobile phone of an attorney at his firm who was working on one of her tobacco cases, and Hercules replied, “I’ve never seen her before. She can’t be very important.” With a high and (al)mighty look, Hercules then went off to clear his head by having a few smokes.

As Athena complained about this incident, she was so upset that she had trouble blowing her usually perfectly-circular cigarette rings into the air. My initial reaction (knowing how Hercules can be a jovial kind of deity character) was that Hercules had been kidding (and probably had a bit too much ambrosia, as well), and that Athena should lighten up a bit and get a sense of humor, for gods’ sakes.

A couple of years ago, my thoughts about the matter would have ended there, and I would have forgotten the incident completely after returning to my humble, mortal abode. This time, I had some other takeaways….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Moonlighting: Just Another Day on Mount Olympus at the Office”