Crime, Email Scandals, Food, Law Schools, Nauseating Things, Ridiculousness

Law School Lunch Drama Continues -- From Coast To Coast

Over the last month, we have continued receiving tips from law schools across the country about Hansen's soda heartbreak and the adventures of a refrigerator warrior. Today, we have a round-up of the most recent law school lunch wars, courtesy of UC Davis Law, Cornell Law School, Iowa Law, and of the University of Cincinnati College of Law…

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We received this email from a tipster at Cornell. As you can see, it’s a couple of years old. But it’s funny/sad/angry enough that we felt compelled to include it.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Enraged Law Student
Date: Mon, Nov 30, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Subject: Sharing is NOT Caring
To: [Cornell Law Student Listserv]

Dear All,

Over the past semester I’ve had a frozen meal sheisted here and there and, like a good law school student, bent over and took it.

“Bent over and took it?” How would the Northwestern PC Police feel about that?

Moving on:

But enough already!! In the last week I’ve had three meals stolen, including one on Thanksgiving, which let me tell you, really capped an all-out amazing holiday experience.

As much as I’d like to believe that the selection of food stored in our kitchen is legendary, attracting thieves from the four corners of the Finger Lakes, or that I should be flattered that somebody shares my penchant for Lean Cuisine’s Spaghetti Marinara, I really wonder why anybody, much less a student of the law, would lower themselves to stealing a frozen meal?!

I understand nobody likes paying 12 dollars for a salad at Green. And believe me, after a year and a half in Ithaca, I definitely understand not ever wanting see another bagel, much less spending 20+ minutes huddled near the coffee bar at CTB, eagerly awaiting the sound of “Bronx on Poppy!” If you can’t make a trip to the grocery store, I would love to extend a ride to you and anyone else who wants to go on a Lean Cuisine or Stouffer’s, if that’s more your thing, trek to Wegmans!

Now, I know I’m not alone in my frustration — so for all of you that have fallen victim to the five finger discount epidemic that has haunted our kitchen, I’m sorry. I know nothing makes a day at the law school all the more painful than rifling through pounds of frost and decaying cartons of ice cream, only to realize that your meal, like the life you used to have, has been stolen from you.

Please, for the love of all things lawful, enough with the stealing of other people’s food from the kitchen.

Lawyers in the best sense?

Best,

Enraged Law Student

So, please be kind to your fellow law students. They are all hungry and mostly broke. Let them eat lunch. It’s all they have.

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