Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Prostitution, Sports, UVA Law

Non-Sequiturs: 03.06.12

Our hazing shenanigans are cheeky and fun! Your shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

* There is a woman on my block who walks her inconceivably yappy dogs every damn day at 4:45 PM. Do I routinely go outside and yell at her to shut her dogs up? Yes. Do I pepper spray her pitiful excuses for K-9 companions, like this Hunton & Williams partner allegedly did? No. At least not yet… [Gossip Extra]

* As a Dartmouth undergrad, this current UVA Law student oversaw fraternity initiation rituals, which allegedly involved “chugging ass beers, eating vomelettes, and consuming pure vinegar.” Jesus. That might even be worse than the elephant walk. [Ivy Gate]

* The gospel of Elie Mystal is officially snowballing. Next, I think he needs about a dozen disciples, some flowy robes, and a good set of sandals. [Gawker]

* As a lifelong baseball fan, I’m honestly kind of glad that American football is now on the national hotseat. Yeah, steroids are bad, mmkay. But at least Bruce Bochy doesn’t reward his players for putting the visiting team in the hospital. [ESPN]

* Ponzi schemer extraordinaire Allen Stanford bravely faces the music. [Dealbreaker]

* Who said it’s tough to get a lawyer job these days? Clearly, all you need is a father in the state Senate willing to trade political favors for your employment opportunities. [Press Connects]

* Hopefully the Skadden clerk responsible for botching work for Las Vegas mogul Steve Wynn doesn’t end up up like Joe Pesci at the end of Casino. [Am Law Daily]

* All you lonely Manhattan Biglaw attorneys will now have to find somewhere else to find buy your “Dream Girl” or “Ultimate Elite Model.” [Dealbreaker]

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