On the Philadelphia Craigslist, there is a job listing for people who enjoy pissing all over the 99% — a part-time job for a most likely unemployed person who nonetheless loves the people in power and hates everybody else. Oh, and applicants better have not protested against the Iraq war, because apparently this employer loves people who never question authority.

See, this is why we still have to pay attention to Super Tuesday despite the fact that the Republicans are down to a robot and a guy who hates women. Republicans always have a puncher’s chance because there are so many people in this country right now who are unemployed and willing to take part-time crap work, who still believe that someday — magically — they will end up on top.

It’s much easier to sing to these American idiots about the dream of prosperity than to tell people the truth: statistically speaking, you’re more likely to be struck by lightning that to go from the mailroom to the boardroom.

But, since I suspect at least 50% of the unemployed people out there don’t understand how the system works, let me post the job. Have fun with your self-loathing….

Here’s the ad seen on Craigslist in Philly:

I wonder if this so-called believer in the Constitution will also be paying minimum wage?

Again, my question is, why? If you actually need this job, then it’s pretty clear that capitalism and free enterprise have roundly kicked your ass thus far. Left to your own devices, without much government assistance, you’ve risen to the level of part-time, contract associate applicant.

But you still want to parade around, hating the Occupiers and praising “the capitalists”? Is Smithers your freaking hero? What the hell is wrong with you?

The person who meets these qualifications and applies to this job has the self-awareness of a head of lettuce. But this is why capitalists win: they’re very good at selling their lifestyles to people who will never attain them.

Part Time/Contract Litigation Assoc. (Philadelphia) [Craigslist]


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