Non-Sequiturs: 04.23.12

* Employees from the Manhattan District Attorney’s office boxed each other for charity this weekend. Not to be outdone, employees in the Bronx District Attorney’s office beat up charity workers for money this weekend. [Wall Street Journal]

* And today’s dumbest criminal on Earth award goes to the guy who tried to sell pot to his probation officer. [New York Daily News]

* Don’t you dare make me defend John Edwards just because I believe the law shouldn’t be up in people’s bedrooms. Our obsession with the private lives of our public leaders is wrong, but Edwards is like a dirty whore with his own reality series. [Slate]

* Christ, I know you can’t hear me, but I only did what you wanted me to. [BBC]

* Oh, we make fun of the young and the skill-less, but to a law school dean, their funeral baked meats do coldly furnish forth the marriage tables. [Gawker]

* Sports agent super fight. [Sports Agent Blog]

* Actually, the “Noble” Peace Prize sounds like exactly the kind of prize I’d get. There’d be no money or prestige attached to it, and instead of Stockholm, I’d have to show up in Swindon, and somebody would pat me on the shoulder and say, “Good show old chap.” [Law and More]

* If more lawyers wrote like poets, more judges would act like asshole literary critics who miss the sense of the thing for a pedantic review of the underlying language. Oh wait… [What About Clients via Blawg Review]

* Don’t forget to vote in or Law Revue Contest. Voting closes at midnight tonight and as of this writing, 25 votes separate the excellent entries from Columbia and George Washington. [Above the Law]

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