April 2012
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Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Dissolution, Paralegals, Partner Issues, Secretaries / Administrative Assistants, Staff Layoffs
Dewey & LeBoeuf: A Paralegal's Lament
If Dewey goes under, staffers will also lose their jobs. Here is one paralegal’s perspective on what’s going on at D&L…. -
Job Searches, John Edwards, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Murder, New York Times, Sarbanes-Oxley / Sarbox / SOX, Small Law Firms, Trials, Twittering
Morning Docket: 04.24.12
* Low prices. Every day. On everything. Except bribes. The NYT handed the feds an FCPA case against Wal-Mart on a platter, but the discount superstore might soon have a SOX problem to worry about. [Reuters]
* The John Edwards campaign finance trial is already off to a dramatic start. It seems that the prosecution’s key witness is just as shady as the former presidential candidate is alleged to be. [Boston Herald]
* Career services offices might not know how to find law students jobs at small law firms, but luckily, it seems like they’re finding them just fine on their own. At least in New York. [New York Law Journal]
* An “abuse of process”? Looks like it’s time to #OccupyTwitter. A New York judge has approved a subpoena for tweets belonging to an Occupy Wall Street protester. [Bloomberg]
* And I am telling you, I’m not going — to help your case. Yesterday, Jennifer Hudson testified at the trial of the man accused of killing her relatives. Wonder if she took some tips from her fiancé, David Otunga. [CNN]
* “I decided to become a kidney donor to my boss, and she took my heart.” A lesson in why you should reconsider donating organs to your boss: you might get fired before the wound heals. [New York Post]
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Biglaw, Job Searches, Law Schools, Midsize Firms / Regional Firms, Money, Small Law Firms, Student Loans
Law School Success Stories: Submissions, Please
Are you happy that you went to law school? We'd like to hear from you!
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Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 04.23.12
* Employees from the Manhattan District Attorney’s office boxed each other for charity this weekend. Not to be outdone, employees in the Bronx District Attorney’s office beat up charity workers for money this weekend. [Wall Street Journal] * And today’s dumbest criminal on Earth award goes to the guy who tried to sell pot to his probation officer. [New York Daily News] * Don’t you dare make me defend John Edwards just because I believe the law shouldn’t be up in people’s bedrooms. Our obsession with the private lives of our public leaders is wrong, but Edwards is like a dirty whore with his own reality series. [Slate] * Christ, I know you can’t hear me, but I only did what you wanted me to. [BBC] * Oh, we make fun of the young and the skill-less, but to a law school dean, their funeral baked meats do coldly furnish forth the marriage tables. [Gawker] * Sports agent super fight. [Sports Agent Blog] * Actually, the “Noble” Peace Prize sounds like exactly the kind of prize I’d get. There’d be no money or prestige attached to it, and instead of Stockholm, I’d have to show up in Swindon, and somebody would pat me on the shoulder and say, “Good show old chap.” [Law and More] * If more lawyers wrote like poets, more judges would act like asshole literary critics who miss the sense of the thing for a pedantic review of the underlying language. Oh wait… [What About Clients via Blawg Review] -
Cars, Money, Partner Issues, Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day: Or You Could Also Buy a Less Expensive Car
It's hard out here for a 1 percenter... -
Conferences / Symposia, Job Searches, Law Schools, NALP, National Association for Law Placement (NALP), Small Law Firms
NALP 2012: Does Your School Even Know How to Get You a Small Firm Job?
Elie Mystal is here to report on how to get a job at a small law firm. Because chances are, the career counselors at your law school aren’t really going to be able to help you. -
Antonin Scalia, Bad Ideas, Drinking, Nauseating Things, SCOTUS, Supreme Court
SCOTUS Clerkship Application FAIL
An anonymous law student has a nauseating personal encounter with Justice Scalia. Literally… -
California, Caption Contests, Contests, Law Schools, Pictures, Unemployment
Caption Contest Finalists: California Dreamin'
Lawyers can deal with unemployment and food stamps, but are any of them homeless? Here are the finalists for our latest caption contest…. - Sponsored
Profit Powerhouse: Elevating Law Firm Financial Performance
In this CLE-eligible webinar on April 10th, we’ll explore the most common accounting pitfalls and how to avoid them for your firm. -
Small Law Firms
The Practice: The Danger and Pleasure of a Niche Practice
There’s been a lot written about niche practices, but Brian Tannebaum will tell you the truth about the danger and pleasure of having one. -
Biglaw, Copyright, Cyberlaw, Entertainment Law, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Intellectual Property, Technology
Megaupload Trial May Never Happen Because of Possible FBI Error
The government makes another blunder in the Megaupload case... -
Bad Ideas, Biglaw, Feminism, Food, Gender, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Women's Issues
Ladies, It's Time to Get Back in the Kitchen Where You Belong
Nothing says “I’m a successful attorney” quite like the ability to serve masterfully-prepared hors d’oeuvres (bonus points if the cooking is done while barefoot and/or pregnant). -
Allen & Overy, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Lateral Moves, Law Firm Mergers, Musical Chairs, Partner Issues, Summer Associates
Dewey Have A Suitor? Plus Another Confirmed Partner Defection, and Discussion of Deferrals
Which rival Biglaw firm might be a Dewey suitor? Who's the latest partner to leave Dewey? And what about summer associates and incoming associates? -
In-House Counsel, Litigators
Inside Straight: No More Projects Named 'Death Star' Or 'Piranha'!
Columnist Mark Herrmann has some advice for in-house counsel on how to name shell companies.
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Associate Bonus Watch 2011, Biglaw, Bonuses, john quinn, Money
Associate Bonus Watch: Quinn Emanuel Will Pay Spring Bonuses
Quinn Emanuel will be paying spring bonuses! -
Bail, Biglaw, Blackberry-Crackberry, Cellphones, Copyright, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Divorce Train Wrecks, Google / Search Engines, Intellectual Property, Job Searches, John Edwards, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Politics, Real Estate, Technology, Trials
Morning Docket: 04.23.12
* No dowry, no problem: Dewey we have a suitor for this imploding Biglaw firm? Rumor has it that Greenberg Traurig was seen whispering sweet nothings into D&L’s ear about its possible interest. [Am Law Daily]
* BlackBerry maker Research In Motion has hired Milbank Tweed to work out a restructuring plan. Just think, maybe if your product didn’t suck so hard, you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. [Reuters]
* Sex, money, and betrayal… it sounds like another failed TV series about lawyers on ABC, but in actuality, it’s just a preview of the John Edwards campaign finance trial set to begin this week. [Los Angeles Times]
* Technophobes beware, because this copyright battle over code is getting serious. Oracle v. Google turned into Larry v. Larry in court last week as the CEOs for both companies gave testimony. [Bits / New York Times]
* George Zimmerman thought he’d have to stay in jail longer because he was having trouble coming up with his bail money, but he was released in the dead of night. Bet he looked pretty suspicious. [CNN]
* “There are [fewer students] coming in and crying. I haven’t had a crier yet, which I have had in the past.” Given the legal hiring market, that’s a real accomplishment for a career services official. [Charlotte Observer]
* Who gives a sh*t? Not this Russian fertilizer tycoon. When you’re a billionaire, buying an $88M apartment for your kid is just a run-of-the-mill transaction. Come on, he’s not hiding his assets for his divorce. [Telegraph]
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Contests, Law Revue, Law Revue Video Contest, Law Schools, Music, Reader Polls, Videos, YouTube
Law Revue Video Contest: Honorable Mentions
You’ve already seen the finalists and the worst of the worst for our Law Revue Video Contest. These last few videos weren’t quite good enough to make it to the finals, but we haven’t started drinking yet today, and they still gave us some chuckles. -
Media and Journalism, Non-Sequiturs, Privacy, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Technology, UVA Law
Non-Sequiturs: 04.20.12
* A District Court judge in Iowa ruled that warrantless GPS tracking is A-OK, despite a very recent Supreme Court ruling saying pretty much the exact opposite. In other words, Judge Mark Bennett said, “Well, I forgot how to give a f**k!” [Threat Level / Wired] * Is it more amusing that law students at the University of Georgia adopted a “Law Hawk” as an unofficial mascot, or that the student newspaper article about it reads like something out of The Onion? You decide. [Red and Black] * Ogletree Deakins takes Manhattan (and some lawyers from Seyfarth Shaw). [New York Law Journal] * OK, Marines lawyers. No more excuses, it’s time to suit wire up. Get your tech on, thousands of your jobs may depend on it. [Nightly Business Review] * A North Carolina judge blocked a death sentence based on racial bias. A lot of people say that everyone’s a little bit racist, but let’s work out our prejudices in the Octagon, not the courtroom, okay? [New York Times] * Lat discusses blogging v. journalism, why you shouldn’t be stupid, and the state of legal education with UVA School of Law. [Virginia Law Weekly] -
Anthony Kennedy, Barack Obama, Fabulosity, Hillary Clinton, Media and Journalism, Pakistan, Politics, Rankings, S.D.N.Y., Ted Olson, Viet Dinh
The Most Influential Lawyers in the World: Attorneys on the Time 100
Earlier this week, Time magazine released its annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world. Lawyers represent over 10 percent of the list. Which legal eagles soared into the Time 100 this year? -
In-House Counsel
Moonlighting: Improving Mentoring Programs By Assuming the Worst of the Participants
Despite the purported benefits of mentoring, many people who’ve participated in mentoring programs just aren’t fans. How can you create a successful mentoring program? -
California, Caption Contests, Contests, Law Schools, Pictures, Unemployment
Caption Contest: California Dreamin'
Lawyers can deal with unemployment and food stamps, but are any of them homeless? Here’s the photo for our latest caption contest….