We recently wrote about world-renowned d-bag Tucker Max, and his attempt to donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood of Texas. The organization’s executives snubbed their noses at Max’s half-million because they didn’t “feel it would be appropriate, given . . . [his] body of work.” This happened in August of 2011, but rejection hurts, even when you’re a hardcore bro. Max was unable to abort his frustration with the situation, and almost fittingly, he waited just about the length of a full-term pregnancy to reveal the dirty details of what went down.
But why did he wait so long to start spreading the news about this injustice? Wouldn’t the women of Texas have wanted to know about this sooner? Maybe it’s because he was scamming us all along….
Yesterday, Tucker Max wrote the following in “Trying to Donate to Planned Parenthood is Exhausting”, on his personal blog:
I was very serious about this donation: Lots of people have tried to call this a “stunt.” That’s funny, I didn’t know that a 500k check is a joke to them. So maybe if I gave a million dollars, then it’d be real? I’ve been pro-choice my whole like, I used the services of PP when I was poor and got help from them, I believe in their mission and I believe in universal access to family planning services. I’ve ALWAYS believed in those principles, and this was a sincere attempt to cut Planned Parenthood real check. A “stunt” would be doing something, I don’t know, that DIDN’T INVOLVE GIVING HALF A MILLION DOLLARS TO THEM. It’s ridiculous how people think what you do doesn’t matter, it’s only their perception of your action that defines you.
Yes, we get it. Tucker Max cares a lot about Planned Parenthood, because let’s face it, he probably funded half of their services during the heyday of his debauchery. And now that he’s a reformed playboy, he still cares about Planned Parenthood to the tune of $500,000. This was not a stunt.
To be perfectly honest, most would agree that the organization should’ve taken Max’s money regardless of his intentions. After all, much like the women who make use of its services, Planned Parenthood was “in trouble.” But to say that this wasn’t some sort of a stunt is, well… we’ll let Tucker’s tweets do the talking. This one is from July 2011 (right before the Planned Parenthood fiasco took place):
And just one month later, Max tried — and failed — to donate half a million dollars to fund Planned Parenthood’s first abortion slide. Of course, when Max’s branding agent, Ryan Holiday, announced the news of the monetary rejection to the world via Forbes, that tweet magically disappeared (but now it’s back).
Just last month, on March 14, Max took to Twitter again to decry the atrocities of Planned Parenthood, noting: “In South Florida. This place is awful. Shitty design, slutty whores & no culture, like a giant Planned Parenthood waiting room.” That tweet, too, disappeared.
So what’s with the disappearing act? If “half [his] fans are women,” then they should’ve been used to this kind of (dare I say) witty banter. Why did Tucker Max wait until almost nine months later to take to the presses with this information? Here’s one possible answer: Max’s latest book, Hilarity Ensues (affiliate link), has dropped to number 24 on the New York Times bestsellers list. Homeboy needs some money, simple as that.
Tucker Max’s attempt to donate money to Planned Parenthood might not have been a stunt back in August, but it has surely turned into one. And now that all’s been said and done, our favorite fratirist is claiming that he’s “moved on,” he’s rising above it all — and we bet he’s hoping his book sales do, too.