Biglaw, Caption Contests, Contests, Pictures, Reader Polls

Caption Contest Finalists: Biglaw Beach Blanket Bonus Bingo

Many lawyers are hoping that Cravath, the former market leader on spring bonuses, will leave Sullivan & Cromwell all wet. Here are the finalists for our latest caption contest...

By Staci Zaretsky

onMay 3, 2012 at 11:15 AMMay 3, 2012 at 4:25 PM

Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and then vote on the finalists….

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Here are the finalists (some captions that received the most “likes” from readers in Disqus, mixed with some captions that received the most “likes” from yours truly):

A. The only time someone screamed “Sharks!” and people ran into the water.

B. “With spring bonuses so low this year… these two associates could only afford to send their towels on vacation…”

C. So that’s how the partners got so much sand up their vagini.

D. The associates shown here are quite satisfied with their bonuses.

E. “In lieu of a spring bonus, we are pleased to offer all associates an extra week off.***
***Note: Only requests to tele-vacation from the office will be granted.”

F. Not pictured: The owners of the towels who have spent the past 16 hours in the business center working on an “urgent” matter the partner will forget that he even asked for.

G. S&C and Cravath beach towels – now available in FLEECED fabric.

H. We may not be able to extend you an offer if you split your summer, but we guarantee you’ll get twice the crappy schwag.

I. “The Douchebag Strangler claims two new victims. The full story at 11:00.”

J. Sullivan & Cromwell LLP: The market leader in beach towels.