California, Courtship Connection, Romance and Dating

Courtship Connection SF: You Had Me At ‘Attractive’

Based on the initial round of Courtship Connection dates in San Francisco, it seems the city has as much chemistry as it does technology start-ups. I hate to break it to non-Californians: not only do those on the Best Coast have great weather, but dating there seems to be a breeze.

That’s based just on the first two lawyer couples I sent out. I hope am sure San Francisco will yield some disasters yet.

I paired up our first set of twenty-somethings based on equal levels of hotness in Facebook photos, and numerous albums that involved traveling and outdoor activities.

Our “lively snowboarder” lady lawyer said she was looking for someone “quiet-er, anti-douchebag, witty, preferably handsome.” Given the opportunity to bed any legal type, living or dead, fictional or real, she chose Atticus Finch, “played by Gregory Peck, natch.” Her date says he’d be a “professor” if he weren’t a corporate lawyer. That seemed Finch-level noble. Professor Biglaw self-described as “witty” — which is what Lady Snowboard is seeking — and “sarcastic, relaxed, well-traveled.” Given the chance to bed a famous legal character, he chose “Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.” Technically, I think that means he prefers to date a non-lawyer, but things seemed to work out regardless…

Their mutual flair

I sent them to a wine bar, Amelie, per the prof’s recommendation. Prof Biglaw said his “flair” would be a paisley pocket square. Lady Snowboard says:

Blind Date said that he would be wearing blue suit with yellow shirt and a paisley pocket square as his piece of “flair.” Office Space reference? Awesome. Bonus points from me already. I briefly entertained the idea of carrying a red Swingline stapler to complete the theme, but thought it would be best to err on the side of chic, not crazy, so I opted instead for a purple purse.

I would have awarded her so many points had she showed up with a smashed-up fax machine. The Absentminded Professor says:

Her purple purse was propped right on the end of the bar, so I was able to avoid awkwardly checking out every girl in the place for a purple purse. She had on a cute little dress; she clearly hadn’t come straight from the office. I couldn’t say the same. She was real world cute, not just ‘lawyer cute’, so that was good.

This convinced me that the Professor is a regular ATL commenter.

The bar was great. They kept the music relatively low, and most of the crowd is a little more sophisticated (quieter) than you’d find, say, in the Marina. We ordered a glass of red wine, and a couple appetizers.

Just one glass? Two straws?

Based on past courtship connection posts, it seems like maybe daters pried a little more information out of Kash about the blind date than here, as all I had to go on was to look for a purple purse. I’d mentioned I’d wear a pocket square as ‘flair’, an Office Space reference, and apparently Kash just cut and paste that info into an email to her. She caught the Office Space reference, which was definitely a good sign.

Perhaps I have high expectations when it comes to cultural references. Given the ubiquity of the film, recognizing “flair” as an Office Space reference doesn’t do much for me. With this as a benchmark, I suppose the professor was also impressed that she could count to ten and use the bathroom without assistance.

Gets-It says Amelie is “dark [and] a little brooding,” so she worried that her date would be a “total wine poseur”:

I steeled myself for a deluge of BS about terroir and the superiority of Bordeaux.

Blind Date walked up and introduced himself– I was relieved and pleased that he: a) was attractive (thanks, Kash), b) did not dress, or talk, like a pretentious douchebag, c) had a good handshake. Because next to a wine poseur, the only thing more unsettling is a guy with a bad (read: flaccid) handshake. Thankfully, he wasn’t a wine poseur, either.

Dudes, file this away. We ladies are not only assessing the size of your hands but how, ahem, firm they are.

Obligatory warm up questions ensued with discussion of respective line of work. He’s a corporate associate doing the Biglaw thing; I’m a 3L clerking at a boutique business and commercial litigation firm. It was clear he enjoyed his practice. Either that, or he was doing a fabulous job of concealing his raging quarter life crisis. Assuming the former, it was refreshing to not hear him discuss work like it was a death sentence. Or a license to operate like an asshole.

Our conversation covered a significant amount of ground with relative ease and wit. We’re both from Southern California. He skis, I snowboard. He had me at, “I tried snowboarding, but fell about 8000 times.”

I think he actually had you back at “a) attractive.” If-At-8,000-Times-You-Don’t-Succeed-Stop says:

We grew up about an hour from each other and went to undergrad in similar areas, so we were both familiar with the all typical jokes people make about our hometowns/colleges, which created good rapport easily. She’d just finished a trial, and is still juggling school part-time and I’d just closed a couple deals, so we were both relearning how to do normal things like sleep. I ordered a second glass of wine while we finished our appetizers. We split a taxi – I got dropped off at my place, exchanged numbers, and she headed down to the BART station. Fun night and home by 11. In my sleep deprived world, a pretty good combo.

Overall, things went well. Felt like there was a good connection.

No ‘O face’ on the first date, but the night ended on a high note. She says:

Given the body language, I surmise that the chemistry was there. We swapped numbers at the end of the night, agreeing that we’d meet up again.

Not bad, Kash, not bad.

That was three weeks ago. The Professor tells me they “had drinks again about a week after the first date, and coffee last week.  She’s been taking finals, and I have a few deals going (slammed here too), so not much free time for either of us.”

Sounds promising. Good luck! And please enjoy this clip together while cuddling:


Kash is an editor emeritus of Above the Law. She now spends her days at Forbes writing about privacy, technology and the law at The Not-So Private Parts. For a background on the creation of ATL Courtship Connection, see My Weird Hobby: Matchmaking Lawyers.

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