Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Buffeted

People, here at LEWW we hate reality TV. Really, really, really hate it. It makes us feel bored, uncomfortable, and grossed-out by humanity, all at the same time. We can watch sports, which we suppose is “reality” in some sense, but other non-scripted programming sends us lunging for the remote. Dancing with the Stars? Gagging at the concept. Jersey Shore? Never seen it; sounds appalling. Even the Food Network is too real for us.

And of course, just thinking about those reality wedding shows makes us break out in hives. That said, we are going to be all over the upcoming royal wedding. Step back, Chelsea, this one is going to be the real deal, and LEWW is already counting the days until April 29. Now, to find a legal angle . . . .

On to this week’s couples. We have four finalists for this special Thanksgiving edition of LEWW:

Audrey Christopher and Trevor Austin

Tali Farhadian and Boaz Weinstein

Susan Ambler and Ashley Ebersole

Allegra Glashausser and Michael Price

Read more about these couples, after the jump.

1. Audrey Christopher and Trevor Austin
(Buy them a rafting trip.)

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The Case:
– This pair met as students at Harvard Law School while performing for the HLS Drama Society. Her undergraduate degree is from Duke; his is from Stanford.
– The bride is at the New York Legal Aid Society in New York on a public-interest fellowship sponsored by Sidley Austin, where she’ll return as an associate next year.

The Case Against:
– The groom appears to have sworn off the law; he works in New York writing software for a company in Palo Alto.

2. Tali Farhadian and Boaz Weinstein
(Buy them a salad fork.)

The Case:
– This bride, a graduate of Yale College and Yale Law School, has been a Rhodes Scholar, clerked for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, worked at the Department of Justice (where she was the subject of mild controversy), and been repeatedly referred to by David Lat as a “lush Persian beauty.” Tali was a classmate of ours at YLS; we know that she’s been slobbered on enough in her life, and we won’t embarrass her more here. Suffice it to say that she’s as lovely as her résumé.
– The groom lacks his bride’s stratospheric academic credentials (although he graduated from the University of Michigan, which isn’t too shabby). He does, however, have his own Wikipedia entry, which informs us that he once won a Maserati from Warren Buffett in a poker tournament. Having made and lost billions for Deutsche Bank as a derivatives trader, he now runs his own hedge fund.

The Case Against:
– Yes, she’s a bit easier on the eyes than he is. But c’mon — if you’re an attractive Maserati-owning millionaire hedge fund tycoon, you (a) don’t exist, and (b) aren’t going to be seeking female companionship from the ranks of the Department of Justice.

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3. Susan Ambler and Ashley Ebersole
(Buy them a cake keeper.)

The Case:
– This bride was cum laude at Harvard; her groom was cum laude at Amherst (after attending the ultra-prestigious St. Albans for high school). They made a love connection at Vanderbilt Law School.
– They’re both Biglaw associates in DC: She’s at Latham (although we couldn’t locate her on the website); he clerked for Judge Walter Kelley (E.D. VA) and Judge Alice Batchelder (6th Circuit) and is now at Skadden.
– The groom has a Richard Nixon quote on his Facebook page. Ballsy. We love it.

The Case Against:
– The groom’s name is Joseph Ashley Ebersole. He goes by Ashley. We’re not sure who’s to blame for this, but we’re certain he endured a lot of teasing for it — even at St. Albans. And yes, we know that Ashley used to be a boy’s name. It no longer is.

4. Allegra Glashausser and Michael Price
(Buy them a pillowcase.)

The Case:
– This radiant couple met at NYU, from which they both received JDs (the bride was magna). She has an undergraduate degree from the University of Michigan; he has one from Columbia.
– The bride clerked for Judge Rosemary Pooler (2nd Circuit) and is now a staff lawyer for Appellate Advocates, a public defender organization. The groom works at the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers in Washington, where he works on defending Guantánamo Bay detainees.

The Case Against:
– Too public-defender-y.

The Verdict:
– In a normal week, Team Ambler-Ebersole would probably narrowly edge out Team Christopher-Austin and Team Glashausser-Price on the strength of its Biglaw employment and patrician chins. But this isn’t a normal week; it’s a Rhodes-Scholarship-winning, Supreme-Court-clerking, Maserati-driving bonanza of a week, and there’s no doubt that it belongs to Team Farhadian-Weinstein. Congratulations to all the newlyweds!

Honorable Mention:
Molly Meltzer and Derek Evans (Vows column)
Medina Senghore and Kareem Collie (Vows column)
Allison Schwartz and Brett Pearlman (2, Seton Hall, Duke, Simpson Thacher)
Courtney Schneider and Robert Farkas (Columbia, Kirkland)

The Rest:
Elizabeth Alexander and David Wade (Georgetown)
Anjanette Cabrera and Brian Murphy (2, BLS, St. John’s, Seyfarth Shaw)
Anne Fernandez and Christopher Webber (Harvard, Ropes & Gray)
Jennifer Gilman and Jeffrey Baumstein (2, Brooklyn, Fordham)
Brad Weinstein and Bryan Tallevi (2, Cornell, UPenn)
Kristen Cole and Gregory Gaul (Northwestern, Kirkland)
Angela Ottomanelli and Michael Hubbs (Fordham)
Christin Cho and Andrew Hires (Berkeley)
Amelia Seewann and Vladimir Brankov (UT)
Rachel LeFevre and Henry Snee II (Rutgers)
Gillian Groarke and Jason Burns (Fordham)
Tracey Moskowitz and Stephen Amdur (Columbia)
Anna Ziegler and William Miller (Berkeley, Jenner)
Katherine Weiss and John Romano (2, St. John’s, BC)