June 2012
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Crime, Federal Judges, Lawyer of the Day, Murder, Ridiculousness, Trials
A Farewell to Dismiss: Judge Tolls the Bell on Hemingway Doppelganger
Attending an Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest is not a valid excuse to suspend a federal death penalty trial. But you got to admit, it was a valiant attempt… -
Bar Exams, Ohio State - Moritz College of Law
Bar Review Diaries: Advice from Strangers, Imaginationland, and Trying to Stay Focused
Our Bar Review Diarists are are getting advice from strangers, navigating a never-ending parade of graduation parties, and starting to see hallucinations of bar exam questions in real life situations… - Sponsored
Profit Powerhouse: Elevating Law Firm Financial Performance
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Divorce Train Wrecks, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Gambling, Gambling / Gaming, Hotties, Shoes
Poker Player With Full House of Designer Shoes Gets Sued By Ex-Husband Over Her $1M Collection
If you’re wise, you already know better than to mess with a woman’s shoe collection. Unfortunately, some men still haven’t gotten the memo...
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Associate Advice, Job Searches
Embarrassment of Riches, Class of 2011 Graduate Has TWO Job Offers
A person from the class of 2011 has more than one job offer? This is not a drill... -
Biglaw, Lateral Moves, Musical Chairs, Partner Issues, Sports
Buying In: Euro Fever and Biglaw Transfer Value
How is soccer like Biglaw? And what lessons does soccer hold for those of us who work in law firms? -
Jobs
Attorney - Freelance work on your schedule & at your rate
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Drugs, Guns / Firearms, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Musical Chairs, Police, Violence
Morning Docket: 06.26.12
* Congratulations to Justice Keith Blackwell, the newest member of the Georgia Supreme Court! [Associated Press]
* Is News Corp. going to divide itself in two? [Dealbook / New York Times]
* Speaking of job changes, Patrick Fitzgerald, the outgoing U.S. Attorney for Chicago, will be replaced by long-time prosecutor Gary S. Shapiro on July 1. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* I admit, when I first saw the words “heroin burrito” I thought: that sounds delicious. Not because of the heroin, necessarily. Burritos are simply very tasty. [New York Daily News]
* Flo Rida was caught lying to a judge in the “slave wages” case filed by his former assistant, who claims he paid her only $3.08 an hour. Now he has been ordered to cough up $7,000. Not cool, Flo. [Inquisitr]
* Defense attorneys for a man on trial for assaulting a priest who allegedly abused him as a child are now claiming prosecutorial misconduct. Can you spell M-E-S-S? [Mercury News]
* A police officer in Carteret, N.J. saved Ellen Shane’s life by shooting and killing the man who held her hostage at knife point. But apparently that wasn’t enough, and now she has sued the city for $5 million. If she wins, she might want to consider donating the money to her lucky stars. [Newark Star-Ledger]
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Barack Obama, Constitutional Law, Election 2012, Election Law, Health Care / Medicine, Immigration, Politics, SCOTUS, Sentencing Law, Supreme Court
While We're Waiting For Obamacare, It's All About The Dissents
When justices stop being polite... and start getting REAL. - Sponsored
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Ann Althouse, Bar Exams, Health Care / Medicine, Law Professors, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Clerks, Tax Law
Non-Sequiturs: 06.25.12
* This is a great article on why the Supreme Court doesn’t leak, while more important institutions, like our national security apparatus, leak like a freaking sieve. [New Republic] * Most law professors think the Affordable Care Act is constitutional. Most law professors think the Supreme Court will overturn the ACA anyway. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? [Bloomberg] * And now for some SCOTUS thoughts from the amazingly amorphous Mitt Romney. Look at his works in equivocation, ye mighty, and despair. [Washington Post] * You know, I don’t know how they afford this stuff, but having an inalienable right to “paid vacation” really feels like the kind of European invention we should be emulating. Good ideas can come from anywhere, folks. [Legal Blog Watch] * Letting students sit for the bar exam after their second year but then making them come back to school for an even more obviously useless third year is a great way to make somebody have a total mental dissociative break. Just imagine calculating how much money you’re being forced to waste while you sit there in a 3L seminar called “Law and Ceramics.” [Faculty Lounge] * Oh, I like this. The little Democrat in me can’t help but like this: a “global” financial transaction tax. Mmm… there’s nothing like the smell of global redistributive fairness. [Overlawyered] * Jonathan Turley seems hurt that Ann Althouse and other conservative academics acted in a way that shows “we have lost the tradition of civil discourse in this country.” Yeah, umm, Professor Turley, perhaps you didn’t read the footnotes, but here on the internet we don’t have a tradition of civil discourse. We do have a tradition of ad hominem attacks, hyperbole, and pictures of cats. [Jonathan Turley] -
Copyright, Department of Justice, Intellectual Property, Technology, Twittering
What's Happening In the Megaupload Case? Also: Kim Dotcom Joins Twitter, Uses It To Make Legal Jokes
What are the most recent updates in the Megaupload copyright case? And as a bonus, let's take a look at Kim Dotcom's new Twitter feed… -
Law Reviews, Law Schools, Screw-Ups, Technology
How To Write Onto Law Review? Step 1: Follow The Instructions
Learn to follow instructions, or learn to do something else besides being a lawyer... -
Defamation, Feminism, Free Speech, Law Schools, Quote of the Day, Religion, Women's Issues
Quote of the Day: Do You Really Want To Slide Down That Slope?
Sandra Fluke opines on free speech in the wake of "slut-gate," and explains why she picked Georgetown Law. -
Basketball, Small Law Firms
The Practice: Something LeBron Said
Hate on the Heat all you want. LeBron put in years of hard work and dedication, and hard work pays off.
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Admin, Advertising, Announcements, In-House Counsel, Job Searches, Media and Journalism, Partner Issues, Shameless Plugs
Above the Law Seeks Marketing Managers for Partner and In-House Sectors
Above the Law is looking for additional marketing muscle. If you have experience working with law firm partners or in-house lawyers in a marketing capacity, we'd like to hear from you. -
Bad Ideas, Cars, Law Schools, Money, Rank Stupidity, Student Loans
3L With Law School Debt and Underwater Mortgage Wants A New Car. Stupid Is As Stupid Does.
Wife of a 3L tries to stop her husband from being a total idiot... -
Benchslaps, Constitutional Law, Election 2012, Election Law, Health Care / Medicine, Immigration, Politics, SCOTUS, Sentencing Law, Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court, Thomas Goldstein
What Happened at the Supreme Court Today?
What went down at the U.S. Supreme Court this morning? Still no Obamacare ruling, but there were a few other interesting decisions.... -
Biglaw, In-House Counsel, Job Searches, Partner Issues
Inside Straight: Odd Misperceptions Of Job Qualifications
What are some differences between hiring for in-house positions compared to hiring for law firm positions? In-house counsel (and former Biglaw partner) Mark Herrmann explains. -
Basketball, Football, Gay, Gay Marriage, Google / Search Engines, Intellectual Property, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sports, Supreme Court, Technology, Trademarks
Morning Docket: 06.25.12
* It’s official: “law school grads face worst job market in more than 30 years.” Put that in your TTT pipe and smoke it. [Chicago Tribune]
* Not sure how good of a “cyber spy” you can be if you’re getting sued in federal court for things like cybersquatting and trademark infringement. [MarketWatch]
* Jerry Sandusky was convicted — oh Lord, he was convicted — Friday evening, and now his attorneys say they weren’t allowed to resign right before the trial. [CBS News]
* The New York Times has caught Linsanity, or at least it has caught an interest in the trademark case for Jeremy Lin’s popular catchphrase. [New York Times]
* It was Gay Pride weekend across the country. Practically speaking, for most people this meant lots of unexpected traffic jams and random glitter bombings. Evan Wolfson, a prominent attorney, was the Grand Marshal of the Chicago Pride Parade. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* Will today be the day we get the Obamacare decision? Who knows. In the meantime, here’s an interview with the folks behind the wonderful SCOTUSblog. [Forbes]
* The judge accused of elder abuse, in Alameda County, California, is still on the bench, but he has been relegated to handling small claims court. [Mercury News]
* An owner of the Miami Heat has sued Google and a blogger over an “unflattering” photo. I guess once you win an NBA championship, it leaves you with a lot of free time for other important pursuits. [CNN]
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Football, Rape, Sex Scandals, Sports, Trials
Breaking: Verdict Reached in the Jerry Sandusky Case
A verdict has been reached in the sexual abuse trial of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky... -
Non-Sequiturs, Violence
Non-Sequiturs: 06.22.12
* Welcome to the right side of history, former anti-gay marriage guy. [New York Times] * Protecting free speech has to be more important than stopping hate speech. [National Post vai Overlawyered] * Netflix is subject to the Americans with Disabilities Act. Seems unfair to me, people are already disabled, I don’t see why you have to make them deal with Netflix too. [Boston Globe] * This Tony Parker lawsuit following the Chris Brown fight is right out of Eddie Murphy’s Raw where people start suing Eddie for “sprained eyes.” (If you haven’t seen Raw in a while, click the link. So funny.) [Daily Mail] * This law would make it a crime for a teenager to breakup with his girlfriend via text. That sounds like a great idea. [Volokh Conspiracy] * See my vest, see my vest, made of lizards I’m smuggled to the U.S. [Legal Juice] After the jump, you really have to check out Brian Cuban having an aneurism over Lindsay Lohan’s continued freedom...