5th Circuit, Prisons, Religion, Texas, Weirdness

Vampire High Priest Loses Religious Civil Rights Case

A vampire high priest lost a civil rights case on appeal to the Fifth Circuit. No, it didn't happen on an episode of True Blood...

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Yep, you read that correctly. A vampire high priest, who just so happens to be an inmate serving a life sentence in Texas, has lost a civil rights case on appeal to the Fifth Circuit. Apparently prison officials weren’t allowing him to perform the ritualistic rites involved in the practice of his vampiric religion.

If this had happened on an episode of True Blood, you can bet your ass that this sh*t would not stand in Bon Temps….

NBC Chicago has the details on Courtney Royal’s suit — or should we say Vampsh Black Sheep League of Doom Gardamun Family Circle Master Vampire High Priest’s (VBSLDGFCVHP) suit:

In a nine-page single-space typewritten lawsuit, rejected Thursday by the New Orleans-based 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, Royal said he wanted to practice “West African spiritualism and 18th Century Catholicism” marked by prayer to Africans reincarnated by blood. He argued it was no different from “unproven” Christian beliefs. …

Royal had requested “religious items, food diets, and service; a spirit advisor; black Bible; and ‘rugs, rode, [and] beads,’” court papers said.

Is this not the best case caption you’ve ever seen?

(You can read the Fifth Circuit’s decision in full over here.)

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But getting back on point, how dare these people deny VBSLDGFCVHP the right to practice his religion! If only the Vampire Woman (also known as Maria Jose Cristerna) had represented him, perhaps things would have turned out differently.

Somebody better alert the Authority of this wrong before another reporter gets his spine ripped out on live TV.

Royal v. Grounds Decision [Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals]
“Vampire High Priest” Inmate Loses Civil Rights Suit [NBC Chicago]

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