The only people dumber than this Lubbock, Texas judge are the people who believe state court judges are impartial.

The story that has gone viral this morning is about Texas Judge Tom Head. In a local news interview, Judge Head said that a property tax increase was needed, in part, so the sheriff’s department could defend the people against U.N. troops that Obama would send to invade Texas to quash the civil war that would naturally break out if he was re-elected.

Stupid freaking Texas. Up here in New York, we’ve been preparing for that eventuality for years. What, you think it really costs $2,200 to rent a one-bedroom shoebox in Chelsea? Of course not! I believe it was our own New York State Supreme Court Judge D. Bagger Dumas who said: “The MTA needs funds to extend the 7-line all the way to Hoboken so that we may have an avenue to escape from the mechanized Kenyan Power-bots Obama has been developing in secret with the French and General Zod.”

Sorry, even my jokey attempt to sound as crazy as a Texas judge falls woefully short of the real life lunacy of Texas judges (plus an UPDATE on this guy’s title)….

The quote is unbelievable unless you’ve spent some real time talking to (or getting into Twitter arguments with) backwoods Republicans who view facts as a challenge to their religious freedom. This excerpt is from Dallas Voice:

Head said he and the county must be prepared for many contingencies, one that he particularly fears, is if President Obama is reelected.

“He’s going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the UN, and what is going to happen when that happens?,” Head asked.

“I’m thinking the worst. Civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe. And we’re not just talking a few riots here and demonstrations, we’re talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy.

“Now what’s going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that? He’s going to send in U.N. troops. I don’t want ‘em in Lubbock County. OK. So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say ‘you’re not coming in here’.

“And the sheriff, I’ve already asked him, I said ‘you gonna back me’ he said, ‘yeah, I’ll back you’. Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there. I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me.”

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that this was taken out of context or that he was actually joking or saying this tongue in cheek.

BUT THERE’S VIDEO:

Remember, this is in the context of a tax hike. And we know that the only thing Republicans like this hate more than facts are taxes. The property tax hike (a 1.7% hike, btw) will pay for seven new sheriff’s deputies. You’d think that would be defensible on it’s own, but no. Judge Head is trying to justify the need for more local police so that we can defend Lubbock from U.N. ARMED FORCES.

Do you remember the old redneck southern police officer who used to be easily frustrated by James Bond’s exploits in the Roger Moore films? Tom Head is worried about being that guy, and he thinks a 1.7% tax increase is going to help.

And he gets to be a judge! This freaking guy gets to sit in judgment of other humans. This guy gets to have opinions and matter.

That’s the problem with a democracy: the idiots get a say. Idiots like this get to matter.

UPDATE: 12:05: A commenter says this guys isn’t a “judge” in the traditional sense. From the comments:

FYI, he isn’t a “judge” in the sense that he sits in judgment. In Texas, the highest county administrator is called the “County Judge,” but the job is essentially the same as being a large city mayor. But there is no doubt that this guy is batshit crazy.

That explains why he was talking about taxes. Doesn’t really explain the crazy though.

Lubbock County judge: Tax hike needed to fund civil war against Obama [Dallas Voice]


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