Each spring, our fine country is besieged by little girls on a mission to sell the most cookies or else risk being the embarrassment of their troop. Of course, I’m talking about the Girl Scouts of the USA, a program that indoctrinates young women to “be prepared” for adulthood by earning patches in first aid, sportsmanship, and other important life skills, like cooking and makeup application. (Yes, seriously.)

Anyway, Girl Scout cookies used to be pimped by door-to-door sales when mothers still allowed their children to walk around unattended (except for where I grew up in Hillsdale, NJ, the town where Joan’s Law originated). These days, parents tend to do all the work for their kids, and force their coworkers to buy box upon box of delicious cookies.

Now, it’s very rare that one wouldn’t succumb to the pressure to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies — seriously, have you ever eaten a Thin Mint? — but you can’t convince everyone to be a customer, and not everyone will care that they might be crushing a little girl’s hopes and dreams of earning a cookie patch. In extreme cases, not even a judge can allegedly foist these cookies upon an unwilling customer….

Way down south in Texas, Nat C. Perez, a lawyer from Brownsville, has filed a recusal motion against 404th state District Judge Elia Cornejo Lopez. Perez claims that Judge Lopez has “gone out of her way” to remove him from cases in her court on numerous occasions, and this time Perez feared that a client’s right to a fair trial could be impacted by Judge Lopez’s apparent wrath.

But what could have inspired Judge Lopez to reportedly act in such a way? From the Brownsville Herald:

Judge Elia Lopez

“This conduct is an open, blatant and obvious indication of Judge Elia Cornejo Lopez’s animosity, dislike and disdain for counsel and her desire to not have counsel practice in her court before her, possibly exacerbated by his refusal to purchase a case of Girl Scout cookies from her daughter’s troop.”

The motion states that in spring 2011, Lopez directed Perez, in person when she saw him at the county courthouse, to speak with her court coordinator. When Perez spoke with the coordinator, he was told Lopez wanted him to buy cookies from the troop that both of their daughters belong to, the motion said.

Who would want to buy an entire case of Girl Scout cookies? More importantly, why the hell would Perez buy cookies from Judge Lopez’s kid when his own daughter was out there trying to peddle her own cookies? That doesn’t even make any sense, but I suppose that when a daughter’s financial literacy patch for selling cookies is on the line, mothers don’t exactly keep their wits about them.

P.S. I know I quit in eighth grade when it wasn’t “cool” to be a Girl Scout anymore, but I should get an honorary blogging patch for having to write about this stupid cookie controversy.

Attorney files motion to have judge recused [Brownsville Herald]


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