When we speak about work/life balance here in these pages, we don’t tend to talk much about sex. The more important things always seem to come to the forefront of the conversation — things like endless days, sleepless nights, and soul-crushing stress. When that’s what lawyers in Biglaw firms are grappling with on a daily basis, is it really any wonder that no one gives pause to talk about sex (or a general lack thereof)?
Now, we know that lawyers aren’t completely asexual, but perhaps there just isn’t a place to speak about what seems to be a rather impolite topic. So let’s plunge in and assess the situation, complete with a reader poll about whether your jobs are killing your sex lives.
In the wise words of Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex, baby….
Over the weekend, Vivia Chen at the Careerist explored this topic, with a particular focus on women. According to an organizational behavior expert, apparently women are too tired for sex because they have so many other duties to attend to at home after work — that is, if they can ever manage to pry themselves away from the office in the first place. Chen spoke with several lawyers, and they each agreed with this assessment:
“It’s the fact that we are raised to put our needs aside and give everything to everyone and never get what we need back—in work and in our personal life,” says a senior female lawyer at a Fortune 500 company. And missing out on a fulfilling sex life, she suggests, is one explanation why so many professional women seem to be attracted to a book like Fifty Shades of Grey [affiliate link]….
Having a decent sex life takes effort, adds a female partner at an Am Law 100 firm.
But that, of course, is what working mothers think. When you’ve got an incredibly demanding job that requires you to work long hours, it’s a given that everything in life — including finding time for sex — is going to be just a little bit harder to do when you’ve got children and a marriage to worry about. (Although you may spend more time worrying about your marriage if you’re too tired for sex, but that’s another story for another day.)
On the other hand, if you’re single, it may be an entirely different story. What with Biglaw’s absurdly grueling pace, bachelors’ and bachelorettes’ sex lives should technically be better. After all, sex is an awesome stress management technique, and let’s face it, these people are almost constantly under huge amounts of pressure. But then again, stress is also a surefire way to give your libido a death sentence. Even if sex is a de-stresser, it’s pretty hard to do the deed when you can’t even get yourself in the mood.
Is there no happy medium? Can you work in Biglaw and still have a sex life? Take our poll, and let’s find out:
Is your Biglaw job killing your sex life?
- Sex... is that billable? (51%, 416 Votes)
- No. Models and bottles, baby! (30%, 245 Votes)
- Yes. I'd have to look at a diagram to figure out where my genitals are located. (19%, 157 Votes)
Total Voters: 818
Is Your Job Killing Your Sex Life? [The Careerist]