Before there was Four Loko there was, and still is, the Red Bull and vodka. You can pour nearly any amount of vodka into a glass and just a little bit of Red Bull will cut the taste enough so that you can drink it like water. Plus you’ll get an energy kick. Back in my day, when Red Bull was still made with ephedra, that kick was damn noticeable.

Red Bull and vodka is a great way to start a night. It’s a great way to extend a night. It’s a terrible way to end a night. At the end of the night, you don’t need all that alcohol and energy. You need a cab and a glass of water.

One lawyer in D.C. learned that lesson the hard way. He had a Red Bull and Vodka right before closing time, and ended up “bleeding all over Georgetown.” Now he’s suing the bar for giving him that last drink.

And, you know, cutting off his finger…

Apparently Smith Point is a big time “Bro bar” in the Georgetown area of Washington, D.C. It was a favorite haunt of the Bush daughters back in the day.

A local lawyer, Robert Dyer, went to the hangout at the end of his night. The Washington City Paper picks up the story from there:

With Smith Point about to close for the night, Dyer soon had to pay his bill. The bar requires a $30 minimum for credit card charges, according to Dyer’s attorney, Jonathan C. Dailey, but Dyer had only bought $12 worth of drinks.

“You could order seven Coca-Colas — who wants to do that, right?” says Dailey. Instead, according to Dailey, Smith Point employees suggested that Dyer — who had already had six or seven drinks before coming to the bar, according to his lawsuit — meet the minimum by ordering three vodka shots, mixed together with Red Bull and poured into one glass. “The bartender(s) at close should have known that [Dyer] was not in a position to make a reasonable decision to continue to consume alcohol,” Dyer’s lawsuit reads. Apparently, Dyer was soon so intoxicated that, he alleges in the suit, Smith Point’s employees tried to bounce him from the bar.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down for a second. Dyer’s own lawsuit says that he:

  • Rolled into a bar unable or unwilling to pay a $12 bar tab in cash.
  • Ordered up to the card minimum right before close.
  • Needed to be bounced from the bar that was trying to close up.

Those are the allegations that are supposed to show that the bar was in the wrong? I don’t know about you, but when I come into an establishment right before close, don’t have $15 bucks in cash in my pocket, and order a Red Bull and vodka (which, again, is a starting drink, not a finishing drink), I expect that the best way the evening will end is with me getting bounced.

Of course, I don’t expect to lose a finger.

[A]t the bar’s entrance, according to the lawsuit, Dyer stumbled. He grabbed at the bar’s wooden door for support, but a Smith Point employee allegedly closed the door on Dyer’s hand—cutting off his left pinky finger.

Dyer, apparently so deep in a vod-bomb haze that he didn’t notice he was down a digit, was trying to get cab money from an ATM when a cop pointed out that he was bleeding all over Georgetown.

Dude, not cool.

I’ve been bounced, forcefully, from establishments up and down the Eastern seaboard. There’s an etiquette to the proceedings, and it does not, I repeat NOT, include cutting off my damn fingers. At the point when I’m stumbling out of a place, slowly, belligerently even, the bar has won its victory. I’M LEAVING OKAY. Why is the waitstaff slamming doors at all, much less doors with fingers still lingering in the way?

Because he didn’t notice that he lost his finger (raise your hand, or your stump, if you’ve been so drunk that somebody else has had to point out to you that you are bleeding profusely), doctors were unable to reattach it. So now, for the rest of his life, he’s got to be the nine-fingered attorney — all because, as Dyer alleges, some overzealous bartender couldn’t wait for him to stumble out of the bar on his way to passing out in the street like a normal bro.

Smith Point, that was very un-dude of you. I think you owe that man a finger.

That said, could somebody please take me to Smith Point next time I’m in D.C.? I wouldn’t mind getting drunk with the Bush daughters. And I like my drinking to have a little danger mixed in.

Georgetown Bro Bar Accused of Cutting Off Customer’s Finger [Washington City Paper]


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