Career Alternatives, Craigslist, Job Searches, Pregnancy / Paternity

Terrible Job Potpourri: Your Womb Is More Useful Than Your Law Degree

It’s time to take another look at some of the worst jobs being offered to recent law graduates around the country. Most people think that getting a J.D. is a path to high-salaried positions where you work in an office that smells of rich mahogany.

For some people, it all works out. But many recent graduates of law school end up fighting it out on salaries between $30,000 and $60,000 a year. It’s the bi-modal salary distribution curve, folks, and it’s not your friend.

Today, we’re not looking at full-time jobs, though. We’re taking a look at some positions available for people looking to supplement their income. These are part-time positions, but if you are a student or a recent graduate who needs some extra cash, you should check these out.

And, you know, despair…

As I’ve said before, I particularly like terrible jobs that law students could have performed in high school. A tipster sent this in off of the Pepperdine School of Law Simplicity page.

Said our tipster:

Algebra II tutor? I had that job when I was 16 years old, a year after I took the class in high school. This makes me downright angry… or am I that disillusioned?

I mean, when were you “illusioned”?

The funny thing to me is that if you were good at math in high school then how did you end up in law school? Don’t tell me you looked at the mean starting salary instead of the mode. Maybe most law students could use a good algebra tutor.

Still, teaching kids how to figure out Mitt Romney’s gaffes-per-week ratio is one thing. Selling your womb for cash takes “I’m desperate” to a whole other level.

We talk a lot about maintaining work/life balance and starting a family while having a successful legal career. But could getting knocked up be more lucrative than, say, being a contract attorney for nine months? If you live in San Francisco, you have the opportunity to find out. From Craigslist:

You can read the full ad on the next page. They’re offering up to $40K in expenses.

Now I’m guessing the reason this poster wants people with medical or legal experience is because they want surrogates in white-collar professions that are not physically taxing. But while a desk job might be better for the baby, I wouldn’t underestimate the stress of being a lawyer while pregnant. Or the stress of being an unemployed law graduate. Sure it’s sedentary, but renting out your womb to pay your loans doesn’t suggest a carefree life.

But maybe I’m taking the short view. First, you surrogate for a successful couple, then you babysit the kid and teach it algebra. That’s, like, a whole career. And if the couple takes you out to lunch every now and again, it’ll be a little like a being a Biglaw associate.

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