September wasn’t just a sloppy month for the drunken class of 2015, but for quite a few lawyers, too. It’s no coincidence that the majority of our candidates for this month’s competition earned their spots for their alleged escapades with alcohol.
Which attorney was allegedly so drunk that she bit an employee at an adult sex shop? Which attorney allegedly got so wasted that he didn’t even know he was missing a finger? And which attorney got tackled to the ground after allegedly trying to escape arrest for his third DUI?
Take a look at our nominees for September’s Lawyer of the Month and find out….
Here are your choices, along with a description of each nominee’s alleged conduct. As always, the criteria for Lawyer of the Month are whatever you guys think the criteria should be.
- Sarah Naughton: “Do you know who I am?” We do now! This Illinois assistant state’s attorney was “apparently intoxicated” when she walked into an adult store, allegedly caused a ruckus, and then bit an employee’s ankle, breaking the skin. Check out a video of this vocal vixen screaming about her too-tight handcuffs.
- Unnamed Prosecutor: No good deed goes unpunished. This anonymous Chicago prosecutor is being praised for his heroic efforts after trying to intervene when he saw two men harassing a couple they thought was gay. The prosecutor ended up getting beaten and stabbed, but someone’s already been charged for both crimes.
- Robert Dyer: This lawyer is suing Smith Point, a D.C. “bro bar,” with allegations that bartenders over served him, bounced him out of the bar, and then closed the door on his hand, cutting off his left pinky finger. Did we mention he was “bleeding all over Georgetown” before he noticed his finger was missing?
- Robb Gage: After allegedly hitting a car and attempting to flee the scene on foot, this DUI attorney was arrested for — you guessed it — a DUI. But prior to being arrested, Gage was apprehended by passing motorist and tackled to the ground. It’s probably hard to live with the fact that he was outrun by a dude in flip-flops.
- Anya Cintron Stern: This public defender is accused of taking a picture of her client’s leopard print boxers and posting the picture on Facebook. Needless to say, Stern was fired as soon as her superiors found out about it, and her client got a mistrial. Hopefully his next lawyer will be more interested in legal briefs than boxer briefs.
Please vote in the poll below. Voting will end on THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, at 11:59 PM (Eastern time).
Who should be September's Lawyer of the Month?
- Unnamed Prosecutor (37%, 109 Votes)
- Sarah Naughton (36%, 106 Votes)
- Robert Dyer (13%, 38 Votes)
- Anya Cintron Stern (8%, 24 Votes)
- Robb Gage (6%, 20 Votes)
Total Voters: 297
Earlier: ‘Apparently Intoxicated’ Prosecutor Allegedly Takes a Literal Bite Out of Crime at an Adult Store
Lawyer of the Day: It’s Merely A Flesh Wound
Lawyer of the Day: Assaulted By Red Bull And Vodka?
Lawyer of the Day: DUI Attorney Tackled, Then Arrested For DUI
Lawyer of the Day: Miami PD Posts Pictures of Client’s Underwear on Facebook, Causes Mistrial