Chris Christie, that redundant rotundity, has taken a vicious beating this week. The party of personal responsibility has personally held him responsible for Mitt Romney’s defeat. And it’s easy to see why. Instead of traveling to Pennsylvania to stump for Romney, he stayed behind in New Jersey so he could spoon some more with President Obama. What does it profit a man who gains a friendship with Bruce Springsteen, but loses his party the presidential election? Hell if I know.
Loads of people are saying that Christie blew his chance at ever being nominated by the Republicans because of his a-hugging and a-kissing on President Obama. I don’t know about all that. The fact is, Christie has and had about as much a chance at the Republican nomination for president as Rudy 9-11 before him. Just as that lisping vampire couldn’t have won a nationwide nominating process if the excess saliva in his mouth depended on it, so too was Christie doomed. The sort of abrasive politics that Christie practices may have found its level in the New Jersey governorship. And that’s probably okay.
Let’s talk sports….
SEE, I THOUGHT YOU SAID GAMBOLING WASN’T ALLOWED
Governor Christie has a full plate, what with the hurricane cleanup and his being fat. He also has had to contend with the litany of lawsuits piling up after he signed into law a bill legalizing sports betting in New Jersey. Every sports league, including the NCAA, has filed suit against New Jersey, something we previously covered here. In a piece carried on Deadspin, Jonathan Mahler is the first to shame the sports leagues for not doing enough to help the hurricane recovery:
New Jersey was already hurting when Governor Chris Christie signed into law last summer a bill allowing gambling on sports at casinos and racetracks. Now the state has borne the brunt of a hurricane that flooded Atlantic City, washing away a chunk of the oldest boardwalk in America. Sports betting could help New Jersey turn things around, not only bringing in an estimated $150 million a year in taxes and licensing fees, but also filling its casino hotels on big sports weekends.
Listen, I think the lawsuits to stop legal sports betting are dumb as hell, but I don’t think capitalizing on the hurricane damage is the smartest way to attack them.
The smartest way to attack the lawsuits would be to destroy their case from the inside. Find a way to sneak in an out-of-his-mind lunatic to make a mockery of the sports leagues’ cases against the new gambling law. If we could just find the right sort of nonsense-spewing citizen, we might be able to expose the lawsuits for what they are: a hypocritical, money-grubbing waste of time. In the alternative, maybe we could just laugh at the crazy pro se brief:
Harold Kupersmit of Pennsylvania filed a motion on Oct. 18 while observing to the court that “respectfully and humbly, the thoroughbred horse racing industry’s future is in serious jeopardy and many employment opportunities are at risk and the government’s policy is causing unnecessary expense associated with the record keeping which must be eliminated. Thank you so much for your understanding, patience, faith, ideas, love, trust and support.”
The second page consists of six months of what Kupersmit said is a record of his gambling. It lists 105 bets, with only 18 winners (!). Not clear what he bet on, but the “wagers” column lists bets generally of a couple of hundred dollars per wager.
The proposed injunction says, “In full view of Deponent’s moving papers, it is hereby ordered and directed that no firm decision in this [New Jersey sports betting] matter be made until the U.S. Congress changes the law on the reporting of gambling income only as it relates to thoroughbred racing.”
Kupersmit also touts the founding of “The Citizen, America’s exciting, newest political party” in 2006. The No. 1 reason for why the party was founded was “Gamblers must be protected from an abusive government.” The third of five points calls for an end to genocide worldwide.
Some questioned Kupersmit’s decision to call for an end to genocide as his third point. They said he was burying the lede. Harold Kupersmit doesn’t listen to the haters.
The various sports leagues arrayed against the New Jersey law have filed an opposition to Kupersmit’s brief.
OH, YOU MEAN A BARRISTER
I’ve previously noted the hilarious nature of soccer coverage in this space. Soccer stories tend to follow the same nonsensical trajectory as a Harold Kupersmit amicus brief. Take, for instance, this story about something called the Society of Black Lawyers. Well, let’s just read the introduction:
The Society of Black Lawyers (SBL), which is leading the drive for a black players’ union to be set up in Britain, has threatened to report Tottenham to police over what it alleges is anti-Semitic abuse at White Hart Lane.
The organisation said it would contact the Metropolitan Police “if neither Tottenham FC nor the FA are willing to take a stand”.
The society has put forward a ten-point plan to combat racism in football, which includes players being found guilty of racial abuse being sacked and banned for nine months.
I seriously have no idea what any of this means. I spent a quality five seconds Googling this Society of Black Lawyers in an attempt to make sure they’re actually… you know, black. Their website is down. There’s talk of contacting police, and non-quarterbacks being sacked. I think someone mentioned fish and chips. The point is, nothing about soccer coverage makes any sense. Speak American!
At any rate, this controversy seems to stem from the fact that fans of the Tottenham Hotspurs refer to themselves as the “Yid Army” because the team has a sizable Jewish following. A kind of co-opting of the antisemitic term, I guess. And now the Society of Black Lawyers is trying to stop it. And set up a black players union. Possibly something about a lorry. This is honestly the best I could do in summarizing this story.
RAP SHEET ROLL CALL
* Delmon Young finally got sentenced for assault and crazy antisemitic ranting. He’s been ordered to enroll at the Museum of Tolerance New York, where his challenge will be not making out with his girlfriend during Schindler’s List.
* Shaun White had vandalism charges dropped this week, but still must complete community service for public intoxication charges. Extreme.
* Former No. 1 pick of the Yankees Brien Taylor was sentenced to 38 months in prison for slinging crack rock. Barring early release for good behavior, Brien Taylor will have spent 38 more months in prison than he did in the Major Leagues.
I spent last night trying to figure out other stammer-named figures like Chris Christie. In the sports world, of course, there is Rick Rickert. In politics, most would immediately offer up Tommy Thompson, but I don’t think he counts. Can you think of any others? Besides, of course, Rick Rickert?
The NCAA Is Fighting New Jersey And Chris Christie To Protect The Sanctity Of Illegal Underground Amateur Sports Gambling [Deadspin]
NJ sports betting case: an outsider wants in [Bergen Record]
Spurs accused over ‘anti-Semitic abuse’ [ESPN]