December 2012
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Guns / Firearms, Non-Sequiturs, Richard Epstein, Robert Bork
Non-Sequiturs: 12.21.12
* John Kerry has been nominated to be the next Secretary of State. I expect a tough confirmation battle where Republicans openly question his courage and integrity under fire… oh, wait, I’m being told that Republicans were actually just lying to all of us in 2004 by slandering a war hero for political gain. [Yahoo! News] * The best thing about the NRA’s bizarre press conference was that I got to go on the Huffington Post and use the Konami code in a point. [HuffPost Live] * Of course, if people could get high, there would be less gun violence. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * And by the way, nobody plays Bulletstorm, Mortal Kombat and Slaughterhouse are decades old, and nobody has even heard of Kindergarten Killer, but it apparently involves a janitor who takes out a school. Grand Theft Auto is some good stuff though. It’s so good, I’m going to go out and jack some cars, drive into a police cruiser, and then hide out until I lose my wanted level. [Kotaku] * Richard Epstein on Robert Bork. [Ricochet via How Appealing] * You know what’s sad? The Mayan calendar was a scientific masterstroke that was turned into a punchline largely by people who are resistant to science. If you’re looking for real end of the world scenarios, the truth is out there. [Science Blogs] -
D.C. Circuit, Environment / Environmental Law, Federal Judges, Janice Rogers Brown, Music, Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day: I'm Just a Bill! Yes, I'm Only a Bill!
Wherein Schoolhouse Rock meets the D.C. Circuit. - Sponsored
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In-House Counsel, Practice Pointers
Moonlighting: Getting Business People to Listen to You
In-house columnist Susan Moon discusses why the tone and delivery of lawyers' advice and counsel is important to business clients.
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Holidays and Seasons, Law Schools
A Holiday Message From Touro Law
This is a holiday challenge I think everybody should take... -
Baseball, Basketball, Copyright, Football, Guns / Firearms, Sports
Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Assault Weapons and the 2-3 Zone
In today's sports law column: Jim Boeheim's slam dunk on gun control, Raanan Katz's crazy copyright claim, and other sports figures in legal hot water. -
Bad Ideas, Lawyer of the Day, Lunacy, Small Law Firms
Lawyer of the Day: Sorry Judge, But I'm Unavailable Due to the Mayan Apocalypse
It's the end of the world as we know it, so I'm not coming to court, judge! -
Caption Contests, Contests, Holidays and Seasons, Pictures, Police
Caption Contest: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
The Grinch didn't just steal Christmas this year. Check out our latest caption contest! -
ACLU, Antonin Scalia, Bernie Madoff, Biglaw, Crime, Deaths, Federal Judges, Football, Free Speech, Law Schools, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Prisons, Robert Bork, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, SCOTUS, Sentencing Law, State Judges, Supreme Court
Morning Docket: 12.21.12
* Seven out of nine sitting Supreme Court justices were silent when it came to the passing of Robert Bork. Justice Antonin Scalia, of course, issued a public statement, as did liberal Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (surprise!). [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* No one ever really doubted that it would take an army of Biglaw lawyers from the likes of Sullivan & Cromwell, Shearman & Sterling, and Wachtel Lipton to handle a monumental deal like the proposed $8.2 billion NYSE/ICE merger. [Am Law Daily]
* Can you coach with Nick Saban and be a Miller Canfield partner at the same time? No. But you can sue (and win!) when the firm allegedly forces you out due to its “culture of fear and intimidation.” [Detroit Free Press]
* Justice Rolando Acosta, who wrote the opinion upholding the dismissal of the class action case against NYLS, rates well among his peers as a nominee for the New York Court of Appeals. [New York Law Journal]
* Peter Madoff was sentenced to ten years in prison for his role in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, but the judge will probably let him go to his granddaughter’s bat mitzvah before shipping him to the pokey. [Bloomberg]
* Merry Christmas, now go f**k yourself. A federal judge has given a woman in Louisiana free rein to display holiday lights on her roof in the form of an extended middle finger. God bless America. [CBS 3 Springfield]
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Job Searches, Ted Frank
Successful Lawyer Exhorts New Lawyers To Be More Successful
Telling unemployed lawyers to "stop complaining" isn't necessarily the most helpful advice... -
Guns / Firearms, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Prostitution, Student Loans, Trademarks
Non-Sequiturs: 12.20.12
* I’m happy to have spent this last day on Earth with you. And with professors Paul Campos and Brian Tamanaha telling you how law school is a raw deal. [HuffPost Live] * Meanwhile, Seton Hall will be offering a tuition “discount” to students based on merit. Which is really just what a lot of law schools have been doing to try to fill seats as people become more aware of the problems with legal education. [National Law Journal] * One reason my job is better than yours: I get emails with the subject lines like “CockSucker Decision Analysis” all the time. [The Legal Satyricon] * I didn’t know there were freaking idiots out there who thought that Israel had more lax gun laws than we do. But they don’t. Because Israelis like being safe. [Huffington Post] * And if you think more lax gun laws in Russia would make the murder rate there go down, you are probably the kind of dumbass who thinks you can look into Putin’s eyes and see his soul. [Atlantic] * So when former U.S. Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton admits to it, it’s called “prostitution,” but when we’re doing essentially the same story about Ryan Lochte in 10 years, we’re going to call it “sex addiction” or something. [Chicago Tribune] -
Biglaw, English Grammar and Usage, Husch Blackwell, Job Searches
Rejection Letter of the Day: Srry, But Yuo Can't Spel Gud
Here's a Biglaw rejection letter that was so ridden with typos that a tipster felt the need to send it to us. -
Blogging, Books, Fabulosity, Quote of the Day
Quote of the Day: The Justice League Can Actually Help You Learn About Justice!
What can you learn about the law from your favorite comic book superheroes? A lot! -
Caption Contests, Contests, Law Schools, Libraries / Librarians, Pets, UVA Law
Caption Contest Winner: Law School Has Gone to the Dogs
Did this law school admit a dog as a student? Check out the winner in our latest caption contest!
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Law Schools, Plaintiffs Firms
BREAKING: Dismissal of Class Action Suit Against New York Law School Is Affirmed
An appellate court affirmed the dismissal of the suit against New York Law School over its allegedly fraudulent employment statistics. -
B for Beauty, Contracts, Defamation, Donald Trump
Donald Trump Teaches a Disgruntled Beauty Queen an 'Expensive Lesson' in Arbitration
This beauty queen is no Miss Congeniality, and now she owes Donald Trump $5 million... -
Associate Bonus Watch 2012, Biglaw, Bonuses, Money
Associate Bonus Watch: Kirkland Associates Did Better Than Cravath, But Not All Of Them Are Happy
When is a bonus that is much better than Cravath's not nearly enough? -
In-House Counsel, Practice Pointers
Inside Straight: The Job That Kills The Humor
In-house columnist Mark Herrmann wonders why compliance jobs can kill lawyers' sense of humor. -
American Bar Association / ABA, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Crime, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Divorce Train Wrecks, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Sentencing Law, Texas, UVA Law
Morning Docket: 12.20.12
* “As a lawyer, this is very sad for me.” Al Togut, the prominent attorney pulling all of the strings behind the curtain of the Dewey & LeBoeuf bankruptcy filings, wishes that there was some way that the firm could’ve been saved. [Am Law Daily]
* Guys at my law school used to break into the registrar’s office to steal transcript paper all the time; it was no big deal. No really, as far as sentencing goes, apparently doing such a thing isn’t that big of a deal in Virginia. [Daily Progress]
* That’s some nice lipstick you’ve got there, pig: Lincoln Memorial University’s Duncan School of Law is still trying to get ABA accreditation by changing everything it can, including its lax admissions standards. [Knoxville News Sentinel]
* Even though Peter Madoff’s supporters showered the court with with letters filled with compliments ahead of his sentencing, the Ponzi victims aren’t exactly showing him the same kind of love. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* This law firm in Texas is trying to make getting divorced a more pleasurable experience, so they invented something called the “Divorce Resort” — because there’s nothing like a four-star train wreck. [Huffington Post]
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Akin Gump, Biglaw, Contests, Crowell & Moring, Fabulosity, Fenwick & West, Holidays and Seasons, Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, Midsize Firms / Regional Firms, Small Law Firms
ATL Holiday Card Contest: The Finalists!
Here are the finalists for our fourth annual holiday card contest. Please vote for your favorite! -
Election 2012, Election Law, Guns / Firearms, Non-Sequiturs, Real Estate, State Department, Video games
Non-Sequiturs: 12.19.12
* So now, officially, more people have lost their jobs over Benghazi than lost their jobs over 9/11. [New York Times] * Could we sue the NRA out of existence? [Dissident Voice] * Nate Silver makes it clear that gun ownership is a great indication of party affiliation. Guess the liberals would get their asses handed to them in a civil war. [Five Thirty Eight / New York Times] * Should it be harder for a teenager to get his hands on a video game with lots of guns in it, or AN ACTUAL FREAKING GUN? [Huffington Post] * “Fun” law bloggers interview each other, for fun. [Allison Leotta] * Wait, McDonald’s restaurants in Europe have waitresses? [Telegraph] * Former Governor of Florida slams current Governor of Florida while nation wonders why Florida is always such a train wreck. [Blog of the Legal Times] * Bank robbers hail getaway cab. [Chicago Tribune] * Look, the quote of the year is Megyn Kelly’s, “Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better?” But here are some other fun ones from 2012. [The Careerist]