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An Awesome, Self-Deprecating Cover Letter That’s Going Viral

Ahh, cover letters. It’s incredibly boring to write them as a job seeker, and even more excruciating to read them as an employer. These days, people have got to be wondering if writing another tame, boilerplate cover letter is even worth it. After all, most of them know where their application package is going: the trash folder. So why not do something to make yourself stand out?

We’ve seen countless superb specimens that longtime readers may remember, like that of the unemployed law grad who turned all of his rejection letters into an “unorthodox” cover letter. That fellow didn’t receive an offer, but today, we’ve got one that’s really piqued employers’ interest. It’s been forwarded around the finance world, and now it’s even made its way to legal inboxes across the country. This kid may want an i-banking internship now, but he’s also a prospective law student.

The cover letter has been described by its hundreds of recipients as “hilarious but bold,” “amazing,” “a gem,” and “AWESOME.” Here’s just a little snippet of what we’re about to show you:

I have no qualms about fetching coffee, shining shoes or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing.

Picture this guy, coming to a law school classroom near you. That’s some real head-bitch-in-charge potential right there. His cover letter is brutally honest, to a fault, which is what makes it so damn great.

Let’s take a look at this thing, and help it go even more viral….

We’ll post this without comment, and leave that part to our readers. Here it is, in all of its glory:

Dear [Future Boss]:

My name is [Head Bitch in Charge] and I am an undergraduate finance student at [TTT University]. I met you the summer before last at Smith & Wollensky’s in New York when I was touring the east coast with my uncle, [Name Drop]. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to talk with me that night.

I am writing to inquire about a possible summer internship in your office. I am aware it is highly unusual for undergraduates from average universities like [TTT] to intern at [Out of My League I-Bank], but nevertheless I was hoping you might make an exception. I am extremely interested in investment banking and would love nothing more than to learn under your tutelage. I have no qualms about fetching coffee, shining shoes or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing. In all honesty, I just want to be around professionals in the industry and gain as much knowledge as I can.

I won’t waste your time inflating my credentials, throwing around exaggerated job titles, or feeding you a line of crap about how my past experiences and skill set align perfectly for an investment banking internship. The truth is I have no unbelievably special skills or genius eccentricities, but I do have a near perfect GPA and will work hard for you. I’ve interned for Merrill Lynch in the Wealth Management Division and taken an investment banking class at [TTT University], for whatever that is worth.

I am currently awaiting admission results for [TTT’s] Masters of Science in Accountancy program, which I would begin this fall if admitted. I am also planning on attending law school after my master’s program, which we spoke about in New York. I apologize for the blunt nature of my letter, but I hope you seriously consider taking me under your wing this summer. I have attached my resume for your review. Feel free to call me at [redacted] or email at [redacted]. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

[Head Bitch in Charge]

We’d wish this guy luck, but he doesn’t need it — thanks to this cover letter, he’s already received calls from places he didn’t even apply to. So, dear readers, we’ve got to ask…

Would you hire this guy?

  • Yes, I could definitely use another coffee bitch. (79%, 2,719 Votes)
  • No, he's not nearly prestigious enough to shine my shoes. (21%, 723 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,442

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Earlier: Now This is a Cover Letter
Best Job Application Cover Letter Ever

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