Manhattan Lawyer Happy To Help Out Brother-in-Law By Banging His Wife

This lawyer's version of helping out his brother-in-law is a problem...

If Law & Order were still around, this would make for a good episode. A Manhattan lawyer was accused by his sister-in-law of sexual assault. But now the lawyer has filed a countersuit claiming defamation. He says that he and his sister-in-law engaged in a consensual sexual relationship as he was trying to help her conceive.

Why does he say he did it? Because he respects her husband (his brother-in-law) so much!

You’ve got to love the self-importance of Manhattan attorneys….

The New York Post has the story of Ted McCullough, who has filed a $7 million lawsuit against his wife’s sister. Apparently his wife’s brother-in-law is infertile, so McCullough, who has two kids with his wife, offered to impregnate his sister-in-law:

After their second go at it, court papers describe in unflinching detail, “she pulled her naked legs up in a crab-like position to increase the chances of conception. She then stated to him, ‘Thank you, I know you are doing me a favor.’ ”

McCullough claims he had sex with [sister-in-law Adrienne Mesko] out of the goodness of his heart — and out of respect for her husband.

Hold on, let me consult the guy handbook… yeah, that’s what I thought, it says right here, under RULE 1: “Banging another man’s wife behind his back is the ultimate show of disrespect.”

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Also, it seems like pretty piss-poor lawyering to enter into this kind of agreement without memorializing it somewhere. McCullough is a name partner at McCullough, Ginsberg, Montano & Partners. On their website they say, “At MGM, we invest in our clients’ objectives and partner with them to meet the challenge together.”

Well, I guess that appears to be true as all hell.

Of course, Mesko claims that McCullough wasn’t a “partner,” just a “challenge.”

But Mesko told the Dutchess County Sheriff’s Office a much different story: that McCullough sexually assaulted her.

No arrests have been made, but “there is an active police investigation into the matter,” Capt. John Watterson told The Post.

Mesko also aired her assault allegation in Dutchess County Family Court, obtaining an order of protection against McCullough — who later obtained one against her.

It seems weird to take something that was being handled quietly in Family Court and turn it into a multimillion-dollar civil suit when your argument is “I respected my brother-in-law so much that I had to bang his wife.” But I guess some lawyers think a lot more about whether they can sue instead of thinking about whether they should sue.

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Mommy wannabe cries assault after pregnancy romp with bro-in-law [New York Post]