Departure Memo of the Day: After Biglaw, Everybody Should Find Their Zihuatanejo

Getting out of Biglaw will get you soaked.

CLEARY GOTTLIEB DEPARTURE MEMO

Good friends and colleagues, the day has arrived. One departure memo is all that stands between me and the alumni directory. Only one more elevator ride from the 42nd floor, only one more Captivate Network sesquipedalian* to add to my lexicon. Doubtless you have grasped my meaning: today is my last day at Cleary.

Back in 2009, when I joined the firm, I was three years removed from a career as a stand-up comedian. Yet Cleary welcomed me. Eager critics pointed out that the firm was merely maintaining comedic equilibrium, since another associate had left to become a comedian just as I arrived (true story). But I believe that my story reveals something deeper about this place. If you aren’t exactly allowed to let your freak flag fly in the halls of One Liberty, you’re at least encouraged to own such a flag, and maybe even wear it around your office as a cape. Growing a beard like a rhododendron bush? Love it! Acting as Falstaff in the Parking Lot Shakespeare? We raise a glass to you! Have your work on my desk by the morning, but otherwise do your thing.

Each day I’ve spent here has left its mark on me, as have many of the nights. Listing the lessons I’ve learned and the people I’ve learned them from would try your patience no less than searching for acrostics in a mass-distribution e-mail. Luckily, there are certain conventions of the departure memo that must be observed. Onward then! Let’s jump ahead to my plans.

I would love to tell you that I intend to walk across the country with my dog or stay put with my partner the pop singer. Fair to say, on the Mount Olympus of departure memos, those inhabit the loftiest peaks. Each departure memo has its place in the genre, however. And this is my humble contribution.

Quenching my thirst for adventure has always been a priority of mine. Underwater adventure most of all. A few short hours after I relocate to South Florida, I will commence my training as a professional diver. The legal work will continue, of course, but as I hope to keep this memo light, those details can remain in the background.

I’ll be happy, I’ll keep in touch and there’s only one other thing you need to know. Cleary, I will miss you.

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*big word… thank you Captivate!

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