I prefer my final exam freak-out stories to be of this variety instead of a freaking remake of Quills.

You all know how much I appreciate a good final exam freak-out. Law students losing their minds under the crushing pressure of end-of-the-year exams is one of those things that makes my job fun.

But not today. Because I really don’t like fecal humor. If I’m going to talk about poo on the walls, I want to be making an elaborate, overwrought analogy about what I intend to do with the conservative opinion in Fisher. I don’t want to be talking about literal poop on an actual wall in a real law school.

Unfortunately, it looks like this semester’s top exam disassociative break involves: poop, walls, urinals, and a New York area law school…

At tipster from Fordham School of Law sent us the most unfortunate email. The subject line was: “S**T IN THE URINALS/ON THE WALLS”

(Honestly, it made me think, “What kind of horrible choices have you made in your life, Mystal, that the urinal pooper is your beat?” I’m like Tina in Bob’s Burgers.)

In any event, our tipster went on:

This has occurred at Fordham Law School.
Filthy and disgusting.
I wish to stay anonymous please.
Can verify through whatever methodology you all want.
I don’t know why but I feel like this is ATL worthy.

I don’t know why it’s ATL-worthy either. It’s freaking gross. Law students are gross. Anybody who craps in a urinal should fail character and fitness. They’ve already failed at life.

Anyway, I guess we’re writing about it because some (most) of you will read about it. Because you are gross. Yuck. The tipster, who might be the freaking fecal asshole for all I know, sent pictures of the deed. I’ll put them on the next page. I urge you to not click through because it’s freaking disgusting and you are a disgusting person if you want to see.

Seriously, don’t click. This whole post is like a test. DO NOT reward crazy deranged urinal poopers with a click. ONLY YOU can clean up the internet by your refusal to slavishly click on such images.

I’m going to go barf. Get your s**t together, Fordham law students. Christ.


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