Everyone likes to think that real lawyers are as glamorous, thin, and gorgeous as the ones they see on television, but that’s sadly not the case. Sure, some lawyers in the real world are beautiful, but the key word there is some. The truth is that most are just average in the looks department, and as we learned in Clueless, many, many more are like full-on Monets — from far away, they’re okay, but up close, they’re a big old mess. Oh, and most of them are overweight.

And just like that, “Fat Week” continues on Above the Law…

Earlier this week, Elie assured you that you aren’t too fat to go to law school. Today, I’m here to tell you that you’re probably going to get even fatter. Sorry, but it’s highly likely that the only shape you’ll be in is round if you join the legal profession in any capacity. I’m not trying to be condescending; it’s just a fact.

Careerbuilder recently released a survey about on-the-job weight gain. Apparently people who work in high stress, sedentary desk jobs are prone to weight gain. But you probably knew that already, and if you’re anything like me, you’re trying your damndest to be one of the “quitters” Elie spoke so highly of.

So where do employees in the legal profession stack up on the list? AOL Jobs reported on the findings:

1) Administrative Assistant (69 percent)

2) Engineer (56 percent)

3) Teacher (51 percent)

3) Nurse Practitioner or Physician’s Assistant (51 percent)

5) IT Manager/Network Administrator (51 percent)

6) Attorney/Judge/Legal Professional (48 percent)

7) Machine Operator/Assembly/Production Worker (45 percent)

8) Scientist, Biological/Physical/Social (39 percent)

Look on the bright side, at least you’re not an administrative assistant!

Almost half of the legal professionals surveyed have gained weight during their time in the law, and the other half are either liars or exist in a world where there are more than 24 hours a day for them to achieve their weight loss or maintenance goals while still allowing themselves to lead a full life. That, or they subsist solely on salad and other types of rabbit food while doing work at their standing desks.

To put it in simpler terms: if you don’t make an effort, you will most likely gain weight if you work in this field. But maybe you have a different story. Has this sort of a thing happened to you? Take our poll:

Have you gained weight during your career as a legal professional?

  • Yes, and I'm tipping the scales of justice. ::shame:: (57%, 545 Votes)
  • No, and I'll show you what's underneath my robe if you wanna see. (43%, 410 Votes)

Total Voters: 955

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8 Jobs That Will Make You Fat [AOL Jobs]
Is weight gain a job hazard for lawyers? Profession cited for packing on pounds [ABA Journal]

Earlier: Are You Too Fat To Get A J.D.?


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