‘I f**kin’ love torts, man!’

Lawyers sure like to drink, and it’s been a growing problem within the legal profession, as the rate of alcoholism continues to rise. But considering that many of these people are high-functioning alcoholics and that even prospective law students are looking for the best party schools, law schools should probably get these newbies started on the right foot.

“Bar reviews” are no longer good enough; they take place just once a week. Drunken law proms are no longer cutting it; they take place only once a year. With applications dropping, law schools need a new selling point for students who are looking to slam back a few cold ones before getting grilled in class every single day.

That’s probably why one law school is opening up a brand new bar right inside of its main academic building…

If any of you guessed that a school that’s been afflicted by deans dropping like flies would do something like this, then congrats, you’re correct. This summer, St. Louis University School of Law will allow restaurant management firm Bon Appétit to open a restaurant and bar called The Docket, right inside the school’s new building. Here’s more from the aptly named Gut Check blog of the Riverfront Times:

“We envision the Docket as place for the legal and civic community to gather alongside SLU law students, faculty and staff,” said law school dean Michael Wolff in a statement. “The concept Bon Appétit has put together perfectly embodies the idea of our integration into the downtown community.”

So, what’s on the Docket? The menu will feature small plates, pastas, wood-fired pizzas and “rustic entrees” with locally sourced and seasonal ingredients. And perhaps more importantly (for the students, at least) the Docket will also have a fully stocked bar with craft brews and cocktails.

The Docket will serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner during the week and offer dinner service on Saturdays, but what most students probably want to know is whether it’ll be serving booze all day long. SLU Law, ranked in the number 47 slot in our Top 50 Rankings, will definitely soar in the social life rankings if it’s going to start feeding students a steady diet of beer, wine, and liquor.

Just imagine all of the stories we’re going to get next year about students stumbling into class and slurring their way through the Socratic method. It’s going to be absolutely fabulous in every way.

Whether or not this is a move to make the school more attractive to applicants, we’re pretty pumped, because we imagine that soon its students will all be “drunker than ten big Indians.”

The Docket Restaurant and Bar to Open in SLU’s Downtown Law School [Gut Check / Riverfront Times]

Earlier: Did The Dean’s ‘Drunker Than Ten Big Indians’ Comment Cost Him His Scalp?
Law School Dean Blasts University In Passionate Resignation Letter


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