Bankruptcy, Career Alternatives, Law Professors, Law Schools

The Dean Of The Bankruptcy Bar Will Exorcise Your Demons

‘Let us pray upon the good book…’

They say that possession is nine-tenths of the law, but Kenneth Klee, an attorney who literally wrote the book on bankruptcy, is willing to take the old adage one step further. You see, Klee isn’t your average lawyer. Sure, he’ll charge you $1,000 per hour to take care of your high-stakes bankruptcy proceedings, but if your financial issues have left you feeling spooked, he’ll be able to assist you for a cheaper price.

You see, Ken Klee, a man who is sometimes referred to as the “dean of the bankruptcy bar,” has an interesting hobby. In his free time, instead of cleansing people of their debts, he cleanses their souls. Klee is capable of waving his learned hand “energy hand” and making physical and spiritual ailments disappear, all for the low, low cost of $300 for a two-hour session.

And sometimes, just for the hell of it, he’ll even perform exorcisms…

The Wall Street Journal (sub. req.) has a very interesting piece today on this legend of the bankruptcy bar:

Alternative medicine and other New Age practices and philosophies have many followers in the corporate world, particularly in Southern California. But it is unusual to find a white-shoe lawyer like Mr. Klee who so publicly embraces his connections to the metaphysical.

“I am just a vessel,” said Mr. Klee, sitting in his office on the top floor of a 39-story skyscraper with panoramic views of the Pacific Ocean. “I just bring through this energy.”

Kenneth N. Klee

By day, Klee does business with huge municipal bankruptcy clients like Jefferson County, Alabama, but by night, he communes with spirits, aligns chakras, and uses magical crystals in energy healing sessions. We’ve got to wonder if those two very different worlds ever collide. Perhaps Klee would’ve been wise to bless the Alabama Chapter 9 filing before sending it off while chanting, “The power of 11 U.S.C. § 941 compels you!” Things like that have certainly worked for him before — in the late 80s, Klee predicted what was going to happen when Texaco went broke, leading his colleagues to start calling him an “oracle.”

Aside from his private practice, Kenneth Klee also serves as a professor at UCLA School of Law, where he’s been adept at measuring students’ and teachers’ good vibrations, without any assistance whatsoever from Marky Mark and/or his funky bunch. Klee pulls in about $213,373.69 each year from UCLA, so it’s pretty obvious why the man is so positively attuned to the place.

A law professor at University of California, Los Angeles, Ms. [Taimie] Bryant recalls losing her patience at some students for arriving late to class. Mr. Klee, who also teaches at the law school, agreed to harmonize the class and their professor.

“The next day, there was so much ease in the classroom,” said Ms. Bryant. “It was eerie.”

Klee is certainly lucky that he’s got these capabilities. With all of the law school downsizing going on, there’s no way UCLA will get rid of him — unless, of course, the administration wants to face his unique brand of karmic retribution. Klee could probably harness “lowlife” spirits that would make the school’s U.S. News ranking sink down to the nether regions of law school hell. Don’t even think about it, Dean Moran.

Klee’s services could be useful in Biglaw as well. Perhaps he should get in touch with the good people at Bryan Cave to see if they need another spiritual cleansing. Who better to do such a thing than a man who can predict the future? Let’s just hope he doesn’t see laid-off people.

When Klee retires, he wants to “change the world” with some sort of a contraption that measures people’s energy. He says the machine will convince skeptics that he isn’t a quack, but as far as we’re concerned, so long as Kenneth Klee keeps getting favorable outcomes in federal courts, he can do whatever he wants.

The $1,000-an-Hour Lawyer Moonlights as Energy Healer [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
Need an exorcism? Lawyer who drafted US bankruptcy code says it’s one of his skills [ABA Journal]

Earlier: How Much Does Your Law Professor Make? UCLA Law Edition
An Exorcism at Bryan Cave?

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