'God Help This Nation': The FCC's Best Miley Cyrus Complaints

Here are five of the best complaints made to an agency that has no legal authority over Miley Cyrus and her twerktastic performances.

Last month, Miley Cyrus stunned the nation with her racy performance at the MTV Video Music Awards (and by “racy,” we mean that she stripped down to a latex bikini, dry-humped Robin Thicke, twerked to her heart’s content, and used a foam finger to, well, finger herself). Hannah Montana would be so disappointed.

Social media sites went wild, and so did viewers, some of whom were so traumatized by Miley’s bump n’ grind routine that they decided to take their angry rants to the FCC, an agency with absolutely no legal authority over indecency on a cable network like MTV.

More than 150 concerned citizens flooded the Commission’s inbox with irate correspondence, only to have them fall on deaf ears. But thanks to the many Freedom of Information Act requests filed with the FCC, the public’s complaints have been unearthed, and boy, are they entertaining…

Out of the hundreds of complaints, we’ve selected five of the best ones to share with you (check out the rest of them here). These are our favorites, courtesy of The Smoking Gun (click to enlarge):

5. Wherein Miley Cyrus flicks her tongue like a “deamon” [sic].

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4. GOD HELP THIS NATION. SAVE US FROM PURE PORN.

3. Slutty Cyrus must be her street name.

2. We don’t think “subjugate” means what you think it means.

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And, of course, we’ve saved the very best for last:

1. “Had I wanted my family to see a hooker perform a live sex show, I would have taken [them] to Tijuana.”

Alas, the FCC won’t be able to help these poor souls — it won’t even be able to banish Miley Cyrus to a convent. The pop singer can’t stop, and she won’t be stopped by the FCC any time soon, unless she performs on broadcast television. In case you haven’t realized this yet, you really get what you pay for when you have cable, and apparently you’re paying for twerkstravaganzas like these. Enjoy!

Here Are The Miley Cyrus FCC Complaints [The Smoking Gun]