Contract Attorneys

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Contractors

Most people realize that contractor working conditions aren't pleasant... but how many realize they're also hazardous to your health.

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Before the reality of being a lawyer in the 21st century set in, I bet you had an image in your head of what that would look like. A big office, fancy diplomas on the wall and a door that actually closed. Maybe some of you were more realistic in your daydreams, and you anticipated the officemate drama that can dominate the life of a first year associate. Even so, after a year or so of that malarkey your very own office was going to be a reality. Wasn’t it?

Yesterday Joe wrote about the rich tapestry of sadness that is the world of the unemployed lawyer. I’ll see your sadness blankey and raise you a pillow of despair.

Because as bad as it is to sit at home unemployed, at least it’s not a biohazard…

The thing about being a contract attorney is the sinking realization that this is, in fact, your life. When you spend so much of your time scouring Craigslist and The Posse List for a job that will allow you the privilege of working 60 hours a week (and then, you know, actually working said 60 hours) there isn’t much time or energy left over to scheme for a way out. So, this is who you are. You are a temporary part of a much bigger endeavor drifting from project to project in search of a few more dollars an hour. Your temporal status means few of the attorneys or clients utilizing your services think about the working conditions they have created or condoned and the staffing agencies, who are technically your employers, are often so blinded by the dollar signs you represent to act on poor conditions. (Unless there is bad publicity — so please feel free to send along tips that name names. Only we can prevent forest fires.)

There is a newish commercial from JetBlue called JetBlue Cubicle.

Sponsored

In the ad a new hire is shown to their seat, and he is sandwiched in between two other workers with very little personal space. This is supposed to spark outrage in the viewer and cause them to wonder, “How can anyone be expected to work like that?”

But contractors know.

There are many contract positions where the only possible configuration for the number of bodies crammed into the space necessitates each computer monitor touching two others, with barely a few inches between chairs. Or long rows of reviewers where every trip to the restroom requires shimmying past and disrupting all of your co-workers, only to wait on a line and hope there is still toilet paper left when you get there.

If all of this starts to sound a little like immigrating to America in the 19th century (though notably lacking any of the “new world” hope of those voyages) well you aren’t too far off. In cramped quarters, whether on a ship or in the bowels of midtown office building, diseases flourish. It is the start of the flu season, and contract attorneys can be particularly hard hit.

Every year come the fall it seems I am staffed on some giant doc review and can watch the effects of the flu creep across the room. It always starts small, one or two people that “only” have the sniffles. Pretty soon the lady covered in cat hair is schlepping in her portable humidifier. Tissues become a hot commodity. And before long the project sounds like a TB ward.

Sponsored

Now, you might be thinking, “Alex, lots of offices get hit by flu outbreaks, this isn’t really a contractor issue.” Sure. That’s true. But in most full time jobs you also get sick days. As a contractor, you do not get that luxury and so everyone has a monetary incentive to come to work sick. And a lot of them do. Contractors also know that a project could end or they could be cut from it at any given moment. This chronic lack of certainty about their next paycheck translates into contractors prioritizing making money while they can over their health. Oh, and by the way, plenty of contractors are a part of the great unwashed uninsured masses. It’s enough to make anyone turn into a germ-o-phobe.

But, who knows, maybe the impact of this year’s flu season will be lessened by the Obamacare roll out… well, maybe not this year.

Now for our “worst job” of the week. While, thankfully, not as tragic as last week’s minimum wage winner also not a salary that is going to make a dent in student loan payments.

$12 per hour. Good grief!
Good grief indeed New Orleans, good grief.

If you have information about a bad contract attorney job, send an email to tips@abovethelaw.com with the subject line “worst job.” As for this week’s winner, send us an email with your mailing information and t-shirt size and you will be the proud owner of some ATL swag.

Earlier: Open Thread: I Vant to be Alone (Or, Unwanted Officemates)
This Pretty Much Sums Up The Plight Of The Unemployed Lawyer
Contract Attorney Problems
Contract Attorney Problems: I Hope Law School Taught You How To Hold In Your Pee

Alex Rich is a T14 grad and Biglaw refugee who has worked as a contract attorney for the last 7 years… and counting.  If you have a story about the underbelly of the legal world known as contract work, email Alex at tips@abovethelaw.com

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