Apple Porn Guy Sues Obama For Firing Duck Dynasty Guy

Apparently the president is at the heart of a vast conspiracy that hinges entirely on a redneck with a duck call.

We live in a Christian nation ‘Jack.’

Chris Sevier, the Apple Porn plaintiff, channelling his hero, Phil Robertson. According to Sevier’s rambling, 91-page complaint, A&E’s decision to suspend Robertson indefinitely will have a chilling effect on the practice of Christianity. President Obama makes it into the complaint because he’s allegedly in cahoots with the network in an elaborate strategy to further the gay agenda through basic cable.

(Look, if cable television stations were the locus of a vast conspiracy to enforce a gay agenda, shouldn’t Sevier be suing over the existence of Bravo?)

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