Bonus season is upon us, but some people aren’t satisfied with the extra wad of cash they’ve received. In the eyes of disgruntled associates, these are the same bonuses that were handed out last year — only this time around, they’re stale and being served cold.

The angry associates will trudge along to their Biglaw holiday parties, muttering under their breath about the five-figure sum the partners have low-balled them with this year. The name Cravath will be grunted with disdain and paired with an eye roll, and whispers of “Why didn’t I choose Boies Schiller during OCI?” will be followed by mournful sighs.

Cheer up, everyone. There’s a very obvious solution waiting for you just inside the doors of the party you didn’t want to attend….

Here’s the picture for our caption contest, and it features some sage advice for bitter lawyers everywhere:

“The office holiday party is a great opportunity to drink the equivalent of the bonus you didn’t get!” Why didn’t you think of that sooner?! You’ll have to get the ball rolling on this plan of action, stat.

Same rules as always: submit possible captions in the comments. Please try to be funny. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal bent — and then let you vote for the best one.

Please submit your entries by TUESDAY, DECEMBER 17 at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern time). Thanks!


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