It’s Friday.

You’re bored. You’re not looking forward to working/studying this weekend. You watched that Sound of Music remake based on the premise, “if you loved Julie Andrews, Carrie Underwood has to be an improvement, right?” You might be hungover if you came to the ATL party — like a ton of you in NYC did. Hell, you might still be drunk because that’s how you roll, ATL reader!

How about we just trawl the Interwebs for funny legal content to waste a few billable minutes on? Does that sound good?

It does? Capital!

Have you ever had to eat lunch at your desk? Lifeinbiglaw has and asks:

Why must there be so much judgment when I’m eating lunch at my desk and someone walking by looks in?

What about when that document you’re reviewing gets corrupted? God bless you Look Mum — this is epic and accurate:

Is that too much for law school readers? That grim look down the barrel of hopelessness that is your future career? Here’s a game of Gunner Bingo for you.

Hopefully this weekend you’ll be reviewing your outline (read: creating your outline), and hearsay will finally make sense, like it did for lawschoolruinedme:

Frankly, I think this GIF works better for the Rule of Perpetuities, but I digress.

Back to actually lawyerin’ and that horrible, horrible day where you bill to 11 different clients… and still have barely any time logged. These are truly #firstworldlawyerproblems

Here are some really stupid things people have actually said in court — there are even more at the link:

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

****

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

****

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

****

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…

****

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

****

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

I don’t even want to know what happened here, Illegalities:

The woes of working diligently as a public defender. Whatthepublicdefender expresses what it feels like when I advise my client numerous times not to speak but he decides to explain himself to the judge

Back to law school, from 12b6:

Anonymous asked: First final today. Crim, closed book, racehorse exam. But I don’t need any luck because I got this s**t down!

She (assuming that’s Mary-Kate, which we will for the sake of this transition) sometimes drinks at a bar I frequent. Looks kind of like a shaved chihuahua she’s so bony. Digression again.

In parting, whatever your weekend work plans, frolicandetour knows how to deal:

Happy Friday everybody!


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