It’s been well documented in these pages that male lawyers in Texas are a little rough around the edges, and many of them seem virtually incapable of getting along with their female counterparts. To that end, some of them have threatened to enlarge opposing counsels’ assholes, and others have used terms of endearment like “c*nt,” “flat-chested bitch,” and “dumb sh*t” when referring to women colleagues.

With that as a backdrop, it’s no wonder that even more colorful allegations are coming out as a result of a small-firm breakup in Texas. Sure, the defendant in this case may have allegedly “emptied” the firm’s bank account before she left for her new firm, but perhaps she had a good reason to do so.

You’d probably want to take the money and run too if your partner was allegedly sexually harassing female employees and “requesting sex for favorable treatment” within the firm….

In early January, Warrenson Payne and Nancy Chong (formerly Nancy Tu) of the disbanded law firm Ferrer Tu & Payne brought suit against ex-partner Ada Ferrer, claiming that she’d drained the firm’s accounts before scampering off to join a competitor firm. Payne and Chong further alleged that Ferrer had an especially “caustic attitude” and was “highly derogatory” to firm employees. Ferrer, of course, denied that categorization of herself and her actions, saying that she was “authorized to obtain funds.” Drama.

Ferrer, in an apparent quest to set the record straight, has now filed a counterclaim against Payne and Chong, alleging that her former male partner was barely capable of leading the firm. For example, Ferrer alleges that Payne used firm funds to “pay for strip club outings,” among other inappropriate expenditures.

That’s not all, folks. Here’s one of the best lines from the counterclaim, courtesy of Texas Lawyer:

[Ferrer] also alleges Payne was “not capable” of professionally preparing written correspondence, billing, pleadings or briefs.

“When confronted about his inability to write legal papers, Payne called Ferrer an ‘uppity bitch’ and stated, ‘Nobody cares about grammar’ and further stated ‘grammar is for old people,'” Ferrer alleges in the answer and counterclaim.

Man, if I had a dollar for every time Elie Mystal told me nobody cared about grammar, I’d be rich.

And sure, grammar is just for old people. Riiiight. Try using that line the next time you get a redlined document in your inbox from a partner at your firm. Better yet, call that partner an “uppity bitch” for caring about the grammar used in the firm’s pleadings. We’d love to see how that works out for you.

Everything really is bigger in Texas, including the lengths lawyers will go to bring shame to the profession.

‘Uppity Bitch’ and Strip-Club Outings: Firm Breakup Counterclaim Filed [Texas Lawyer]
Former Partners Allege Lawyer Took the Money and Ran (to Join Another Firm) [Texas Lawyer]

Earlier: ‘[Bleep] With Me And You Will Have A Huge [Bleep]hole,’ Warns Biglaw Partner
Texas Lawyer Allegedly Calls Opposing Counsel The C-Word, But Says It To Her Male Colleagues So He Thinks It’s Okay
Biglaw Blind Item: A Partner Walks Into a Strip Club


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