5 Things I Hate About Doc Reviewers

It's time to complain about the other doc review monkeys.

This column has given me the forum to complain about a lot of things — bad bosses, staffing agencies, associates, the market in general — and its been great to get this stuff off of my chest (and is doing wonders for my blood pressure too). But I have avoided calling out my fellow doc review monkeys. Maybe it was a misguided sense of loyalty, after all I know just how bad it can be at the bottom of the legal industry. But no more. There are some things that you do that make us all look bad. So just stop. And for those of you in a law school that has just taken a tumble down the US News and World Report rankings, think of this as a list of what not to do in your inevitable future career….

1. The Bathroom Is Not Your Office

A lot of people take doc review jobs in order to supplement their income as they try to sustain their own practice. I know it must be hard to juggle the demands of the clients you supposedly have with the reality of a document review job. But try and have some decorum. A bathroom is not a place to do business and a bathroom stall is not a substitute for actual walls. Just because I cannot make eye contact with you in order to communicate my disgust at your behavior doesn’t mean I’m not listening to all of the details of your brother-in-law’s 3rd DUI arrest.

There is a sub point here for all private business that reviewers conduct at job sites. Your student loan deferment is your business and I’d prefer not to be reminded of the debt I’m living in. I am constantly amazed at all of the really personal business reviewers are comfortable conducting in a pretty public space. So take it outside or at least lower your voice and try to make it challenging for someone trying to steal your identity.

2. Remember Your Damn Password

I know the legal industry is notoriously bad at technology and it probably seems scary to you, but seriously, remembering your password is not rocket science. Yes, I know that you have to have BOTH a number and a special character, but get it together. If you are the only one who needs your password reset for 5 days in a row, the problem is you, not the system. I’ve been on projects where this is so bad that an entire row actually knew one person’s password. She needed to have it reset constantly and would have a running commentary about what the new password should be. The issue finally resolved itself when her seat mate took over responsibility for remembering the password.

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3. You Have To Be Able To Code More Than 5 Docs An Hour

In the majority of standard document review projects a 200 document assignment is not meant to last you three days. And no, your pace doesn’t affect me directly. I know that, but I can’t help but feel just a little bit insulted on behalf of the profession. This may not be legal work but let’s at least try to pretend the six-figures of debt was worth something. Take some pride in your work and don’t look like a frittata.

4. No, I Do Not Want Tickets To Your Show

Remember that phase you went through in college when you went to a series of terrible student shows? Maybe you were trying to get laid or you were just naïve enough to buy into the self-important bulls**t, but in retrospect it seems pretty clear that most of these were just awful. Well, doc review is full of people who never really got that phase out of their system. Maybe they were too serious in college and they barreled right into law school not understanding the miserable job market that awaited them and are trying to reclaim their lost performance art career, or they threw away their high-powered lawyer gig to pursue their artistic dreams, but either way they are probably using document review to make ends meet. Which means I have to hear about them. And come up with excuses as they try to harangue me into buying tickets. No matter how great I think my new doc review BFF is that isn’t a mistake I’m making again.

5. Do Not Hoard Assignments

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Every document review job is eventually going to end. The industry, by its very nature, is temporary. If you are doing this job that’s simply a reality you need to come to grips with. So when you begin to notice that the amount of available batches or assignments are dwindling down and the end of the project is near, you need to handle it like the adult professional you are. So do not start grabbing multiple assignments at a time hoping that as long as you aren’t finished with your assignment you’ll be the last one released from the project. That is hoarding, there may not be 85 cats roaming around, but the principle is the same. And it’s a sh**ty thing to do to your fellow reviewers. If you are successful and you can hide an extra assignment to extend your employment it means you are artificially cutting someone else’s job short. Actually taking money away from another reviewer. Though I will note diligent project managers usually figure this out and portion out the assignments in an equitable way it’s still a terrible coping strategy for dealing with the end of a project.


Alex Rich is a T14 grad and Biglaw refugee who has worked as a contract attorney for the last 7 years… and counting.  If you have a story about the underbelly of the legal world known as contract work, email Alex at tips@abovethelaw.com and be sure to follow Alex on Twitter @AlexRichEsq