Non-Sequiturs: 04.07.14

* Never text angry. A New York judge just put the kibosh on a man’s suit to secure the return of a $53,000 engagement ring from his jilted would-be wife because he sent an ill-advised angry text. [MyFoxNY] * A German judge allegedly sold thousands of answers to law exams. When authorities closed in, the judge went on the run before being caught with “€30,000 in cash, a loaded pistol and… a 26-year-old Romanian woman.” Who knew bar exam answer keys were the new Blue Sky. [The Local] * Here’s the 50 Most Comfortable Prisons in the World. Hopefully the judge above will land in JVA Fuhlsbuettel Prison. [Arrest Records] * Judge lambasts the Bronx DA’s office after an ADA failed to reveal evidence that would have freed a man held at Rikers Island on bogus rape charges. Unfortunately, this isn’t surprising. [New York Daily News] * Elie says stuff about bullying. [ATL Redline] * “Kosher hot dog case presents a real constitutional pickle.” *Rim shot* [Reuters] * Ever wonder how much it costs to open a solo practice? A new solo practitioner opens his financials. [Associate's Mind] * Don’t call tuition cuts “bold.” [Law School Tuition Bubble] * Here’s a 30 for 30 spoof about the history of gunners. Embedded after the jump… [TaxProf Blog]